7th Floor West | JF

Chapter 31

I woke up on the couch in the living room, and I heard Jimmy's muffled voice from inside his bedroom. I could tell just by his tone that he was agitated, and I knew that the door was closed. As I readjusted my blanket and shifted my weight around, I heard his bedroom door slam, and he walked out into the kitchen. "Jimmy... You okay?" I asked softly. I didn't wanna piss him off.

"No Megan, I'm not okay. That was Miles on the phone. Apparently something came up with Kelly Clarkson, and she can't make it on Friday. We don't have anyone to fill in." I patted the cushion next to me, and Jimmy sat down. "Listen. There's nothing you can do now. Don't blame Kelly, because it's not under her control. There's nothing we can do but move on and fix the situation... Why not do a Freestylin' with the Roots segment? We haven't done that in a while! Or do something with one of the guests." I massaged Jimmy's shoulders gently, and I began to get him to relax. "Don't be so tense about it. It's not your job to worry about that kind of stuff- that's Lorne's job." We both laughed, and I got up and started walking into the kitchen.

Before I could, I felt Jimmy grab me around the waist. I laughed as I tried to fight him off, but I couldn't- he was too strong. He lifted me up off of the ground, and I couldn't stop laughing. I felt him hug me tightly, and he said, "I love you so much Meg." I smiled and replied, "Love you too, Jimbo." He laughed at his nickname, and he continued to hold onto me. "I'm hungry." I said, chuckling. Jimmy somehow shifted me around so that he was giving me a piggyback ride, and he walked into the kitchen. "I have legs." I said, laughing. Jimmy just smiled and said, "So do I. I'm not letting you go until you agree to the terms and conditions that I have for you." He sounded like one of those websites asking you to accept the terms and conditions. I laughed as he stood in front of the fridge, and my stomach growled loudly. He laughed and said, "My terms are that you help me write a sketch later today, and then we go out for dinner, and then we come home and watch some SNL." I smiled and replied, "That sounds perfect." Jimmy put me down on the little island in the middle of the kitchen, and he opened the fridge. He got our leftovers from the night before and heated them up. Typical Fallon siblings' breakfast- leftover pizza.

•

"You good with that, Quest?" I asked Questlove as I talked to him in the studio. He nodded and said, "Yeah, that sounds good. I'll tell the rest of the guys." I thanked him, and I walked into the writer's lounge. I saw Haskell sitting down working on something with Pat Borelli, so I joined them.

"What're you guys working on?" I asked, and Pat turned around. "Oh hey Meg! We were just trying to come up with some monologue jokes for tonight's taping. Miles and Deej already gave us some, but we still have a few to make." I sat down with John and Pat, grabbed a cup of coffee that had my name on it- Arthur must have gotten everyone coffee- and got to work.

The time for the taping came around, and Deej and Miles let John and I sit up at the writer's table with them in the studio. I was sitting between Deej and John, and those two knew how to get me to laugh. They were probably the two writers that I was closest to and felt most comfortable with. I smiled as the Roots began to play the intro, and Higgins began announcing.

Jimmy's cue came, and he came out from behind the curtain with a huge smile on his face. I could tell that this was what he was meant to do. He loved this job more than anything in the world. He began the monologue jokes, and Deej and I chuckled at one that we wrote. Soon enough, the show was over, and NBC Pages were escorting the guests out of the studio. As they finally got outside the studio, we began to pack everything up and set up for post taping editing- Jimmy and I didn't have to be there, but the producers and head writers did. I met Jimmy in his office and said, "Great show tonight." He smiled and thanked me. "I could tell that you were genuinely enjoying being out on that stage and entertaining people and making them laugh. I love watching you do this. You're so incredibly good at it." Jimmy put his arm around me and replied, "Thanks pal!" We walked to his car and got in, and he asked, "So, where for dinner?" I shrugged and said, "I don't know... It's your choice now. I chose last time."

We began driving into the Brooklyn area of New York City, and Jimmy parked in a parking lot that was under the Brooklyn Bridge. We got out, and the moon reflected on the clear water in the river. I smiled as Jimmy guided me over towards the riverbank, and we sat on the grass and just started talking. "So Meg, how have you been doing lately?"

I knew that this wasn't just an ice breaker. I knew that this was a question that was going to start a conversation that I had been dreading for months now. I didn't want to tell him the truth and have him worry about me, but at the same time, I wanted to divulge to him and let him just hug me and comfort me.

I hesitated.

"Well Jimmy, I've been doing okay. Not great, but okay."

Jimmy put his arm around me and asked, "What's wrong Meg? You can tell me." I sighed and said, "I just feel like this is never going to go away. I feel like I'm always gonna feel this way, and I don't want to." I wasn't telling him everything, but I was still telling him some things. There was a long silence before Jimmy spoke.

"Meg, I saw your blades hidden in the bathroom."

My face immediately lost all of its color as I muttered, "W-What...?" Jimmy looked at me with an almost broken expression, and he continued. "I saw your blades in the drawer in the bathroom. I saw that they were used... Recently used." I looked down at the ground and twiddled my thumbs.

•

"I don't wanna see a counselor, Jimmy. I hate talking to people I don't know about my problems." I said as we rode back home after dinner. Our conversation under the Brooklyn Bridge had consisted of me basically telling Jimmy everything that I didn't want to tell him, and it took me everything I had.

"I know Meg... But it'll help. You won't know until you try." I sighed again. I really didn't want to try. I hated talking to people who I didn't know, and I hated talking about my feelings. The two together would be a nightmare. As Jimmy and I rode back to the house, Jimmy broke the silence.

"You know I love you, right Meg?"

I looked over at Jimmy and replied, "Yeah... Why do you say that?" He got off of the highway and we began to drive toward our house. We stopped at a red light and he said, "I dunno. I just want you to know that I love you, I'm here for you, and I want to see you happy." I smiled and looked up at Jimmy.

"I love you." I said, smiling.

"I love you, too." He replied, putting his arm around me and squeezing my shoulder.