7th Floor West | JF

Chapter 42

 Seth looked up at me as he ushered me into his office. He closed the door and asked me, "Meg, what's wrong?" I sighed and explained everything. "Higgins texted me telling me that Jimmy was having a bad day, and he said that he wanted me to come downstairs to try and cheer him up. I went downstairs, and Jimmy had lost his temper earlier in the day and broken a flower vase in his office, and I argued with him because he kept saying that he was okay, and that he didn't want or need my help... As his sister, I could see that he needed help, and that he wasn't okay. He was stressed, frustrated, and exhausted. Things got really heated, and he said that I was annoying and that he wished that I was never born..." I paused and looked up at Seth. He had a sympathetic expression on his face, and I sighed.

"Well you probably already know this, but he said that out of anger. He didn't actually mean it. He got absorbed in the moment and said something that he's going to regret..." My eyes met with Seth's, and he realized something. "It's still getting in your head, isn't it?" I nodded slowly, and I looked at the ground. "I know that he didn't mean it, but the fact that he actually said that to my face was really shocking." Seth took a deep breath and asked me, "What exactly happened after he said that?" I remembered and said, "I said something about him feeling that way about me, and I turned to walk out. Jimmy realized that he shouldn't have said that,  but I couldn't talk to him right after he said that. He regretted it, but I walked out." Seth let out a relieved sigh and said, "That's a good sign that he already regrets it. He's probably looking for you right now..." Just as Seth said that, I heard his phone go off. He glanced at it, and he chucked dryly.

"Jimmy just texted me asking where you are." I looked at my phone and saw that I had 3 or 4 messages from Jimmy, and all of them were telling me to come back down to the studio... But the last one said two simple words.

I'm sorry.

Seth interrupted my thoughts as he said, "Megan, I think you should go down there and fix things. You and Jimmy never really fall out, and things aren't right when you guys are fighting." I smiled and got up. "Thanks, Seth. You're the best." I gave him a huge hug, and he rubbed my back comfortingly and said, "I'm always here for you, Meg." I made my way back to the elevator and pressed the button to go to the 6th floor.

The elevator doors opened, and I walked down the main hallway and opened the doors to Studio 6B. I saw Higgins sitting in a chair in the audience along with Christine Friar and Rachael Marina, two of our social media managers. I smiled lightly at them as I passed, and I made my way into the back hallway where Jimmy's office was. I made the long walk down the hall and approached the door to his office, and I knocked on the door lightly. I heard shuffling inside the office, and I heard the doorknob jiggle. I watched as the door opened, and I came face to face with Jimmy. I entered his office silently, not making eye contact and walking straight past him.

"Meg..." He said quietly as he shut the door. "What?" I said back, with a little venom in my voice. "I didn't mean what I said earlier..." He looked down at the ground, and my eyes stayed glued on his figure. "That's good." I stated blankly, and Jimmy looked back up at me. His face was a mixture of sympathetic and somewhat annoyed - I didn't know if it was with himself because of what he said, or if it was with someone else. "I said it out of anger, Meg... I'm sorry..." He said. I immediately replied and said, "Even if you didn't mean it, that doesn't mean that it didn't affect me." Jimmy looked down at the ground again, and I said, "Is that all you wanted me for? Because if it is, I have stuff I could be doing." Jimmy just looked at me blankly, and I turned around towards the door. I grabbed the door handle, and just as I was about to turn it, I felt Jimmy grab my wrist.

"What the hell, Jimmy!?" I exclaimed, and he tugged me away from the door as he shut it again. He let me out of his grip, and he was between me and the door. I saw the frustration begin to get the better of him, and I braced myself for what was about to happen. "Meg, do you wanna know why I'm so stressed and frustrated? It's because Nance has been away shooting a movie in LA, and since you and Colin have an apartment, I'm taking care of Win and Fran all by myself. On top of that, I've been the one taking care of transferring all of your legal documents and information, not you! I don't have time to do that! You're an adult, you can do that! Ever since you and Colin got married, you haven't been there for Win and Fran, like you said you would. The only time I see you is at work. Nancy and the girls haven't seen you since the wedding! The fact that you think that you can just jump back in to my life and help me with my problems when you're the one causing half of them doesn't make sense!"

I was flabbergasted. I looked at Jimmy and retaliated, saying, "So what, do you want me to not be with Colin anymore? Are you being the attention whore in my life that you've always been? Because god forbid my attention isn't on you every second of every day! I have a life, Jimmy!" Jimmy had gotten closer to me, and I was ready to push by him and leave if it got too heated. I glanced over at the door, and Jimmy must have caught me, because he said, "It's locked and I have the key. Don't even try." I rolled my eyes and sighed. "You're such a brat!" I exclaimed, and the fuse blew.

Jimmy slammed his hand onto the wall, a few inches away from my face. He was now within a foot of me, and he was an arms' distance away. "You have no clue how much I do for you, do you!? I helped Lorne pay for you and Colin to go to Turks and Caicos for your honeymoon, I helped mom and dad pay for your dress and for the wedding, I arranged your schedule for you when you were playing volleyball overseas so that you wouldn't lose your job - hell, I'm the reason you got this job in the first place! I helped pay for you to go to NYU when I was on Saturday Night Live, because I knew that you had a bright future ahead of you and that you deserved the opportunity to go there! I drove you to all of your volleyball practices and tournaments, and I was there when you verballed to NYU! I sacrificed my time, energy, and even money to help you have some of the opportunities that I didn't, because I knew that you deserved them! I wanted you to have some of the experiences that I didn't get to have in high school and college, and I wanted to help you and make sure that you didn't make any of the mistakes or wrong choices that I made! That's why I pushed you so hard to finish at NYU and get your degree! I wanted you to be a better person than I was!"

Jimmy looked me dead in the eyes, and I was speechless. Half of the things that Jimmy had just told me were things that I didn't even know until he had just said them. Tears began to form in my eyes, and I mustered up the courage to look back up at Jimmy. His visage had softened, and he had a more solemn, aware look on his face. "I'm sorry-" We both said in unison. "No, Meg. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have flipped out on you, and I shouldn't have said any of the things that I said to you." I replied and said, "I'm sorry too... I shouldn't have gotten so heated and so offensive with what I was saying..." Jimmy's arm was still resting on the wall next to my head, and I looked into his eyes. "Can we be okay now? Please?" I squeaked, becoming vulnerable the slightest bit. "Yes... We'll be more than okay, Meg. We'll forgive each other, move on, and have fun together and enjoy each other's company." I smiled lightly, and Jimmy pulled me in for a hug. "I love you." I whispered, and Jimmy replied, "Love you more, Megs."

As we separated, I said, "Thank you... Thank you for making all of those sacrifices for me. I'll try my best to make you proud and to make those sacrifices worthwhile... I didn't know that you had done any of that for me until now... Thank you isn't even close to enough..." Jimmy smiled down at me solemnly and replied, "You've already made them worthwhile, and there isn't a moment when I'm not proud of how far you've come and how much you've accomplished. I love you."

I began making my way out of Jimmy's office, and he stopped me right before I grabbed the doorknob. "Meg?" He asked, and I turned around.

"Please don't cut again... I love you and I don't want to see you suffering again."

I nodded and left, shocked that he had figured out that I had relapsed... How did he know...