It was 1am, and I had relapsed again. This time, I made sure that there was no evidence that I had cut again. I bandaged my leg and sat in bed, playing Flappy Birds on my phone. I couldn't sleep, and it was bugging me. I was exhausted, but I just couldn't fall asleep.
•
"Good morning, pal!" Jimmy said brightly, and I rolled over and groaned. I yawned as I opened my eyes, and Jimmy looked at me. "You okay?" I nodded slowly, and added, "I didn't sleep well last night." Jimmy looked at me sympathetically, but I just shrugged. It happens. "Lorne texted me last night and said that the whole crew gets off today, so I figured we could do a little something fun!" I sighed and replied, "Could we just hang here today?" I could tell that Jimmy was disappointed, but I knew how I got the day after I relapsed. I'm all over the place emotionally and mentally. Jimmy reluctantly replied, "Yeah, we can chill here today... You okay, pal?" He sat on the edge of my bed as I was laying under the comforter. I took a deep breath and said, "Yeah, I'm okay." I lied... And Jimmy saw right through it.
"You're not, I can tell. What's up?" I sighed and stayed silent for a moment. I was debating whether I should tell Jimmy about my relapse or not. "I... Uh..." I decided not to tell him. Jimmy could tell that something was wrong, so he asked me, "Meg, please tell me. I want to help." I took a deep breath and blurted it out.
"I relapsed last night."
I saw Jimmy's facial expression fall into a frown, and he said, "Hey... I'm proud of you for telling me. Just saying that sentence out loud is a challenge in itself." I leaned my head on Jimmy's shoulder, and I said, "You're the best brother ever, you know that?"
•
I finished eating my turkey and cheese hoagie, and I saw Jimmy in the living room watching a replay of the Jets vs. Saints game. "Hey Jimmy?" I asked, and he looked over at me. "Can I talk to you?" Jimmy got up and put his arm around me comfortingly, and asked me, "My room or yours?" I pondered the question and replied, "Mine, I guess." We walked into my room, and I shut the door behind me as Jimmy sat on my bed. I jumped up on the bed and sat with my legs crossed, and Jimmy turned towards me. "What's up, pal?"
"I just think that you deserve to know the whole story... I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety when I was in my junior year at NYU. It's a chemical imbalance in my brain, and the anti- depressants are supposed to help balance that out. Anyway, I just want you to know that you're a huge reason that I smile every day, and I love you more than anything."
Jimmy smiled proudly and replied, "I love you so much, Meg. It kills me that you have to go through this, because you don't deserve it." I smiled at Jimmy and replied, "Hey, everyone has their tough times, this just happens to be mine. I'm just lucky to have an incredible support system like you, Nancy, and the Tonight Show crew." Jimmy hugged me tightly and said, "I love you, Megan." I gripped him and hugged him as I replied, "I love you more than you'll ever know."
Of course, he ruined the moment and began tickling my sides. I began laughing hysterically, and Jimmy tackled me and tickled my stomache and my neck. I couldn't stop laughing, and my abs started to hurt from laughing so hard. Luckily, Nancy came to the rescue.
"Hey Meg, I was thinking that we could go have a girls day out. How does that sound?" I smiled and looked over at Jimmy. He beamed in excitement, and said, "I'll watch Win, you guys go ahead!" I hugged Jimmy and tickled his stomache, and he laughed as Nancy came over and kissed his cheek. "I love you guys!" He yelled out the door as Nancy and I left.
•
Nancy told me that we were going to go get our hair done, go get manicures and pedicures, and we were going shopping and going out to lunch. As we sat getting our nails done, Nancy said, "It's nice to finally get to have time with just you and me, Megan." I smiled and replied, "Yeah, it is." Nancy reminisced and said, "The last time I got to really, seriously spend time with you was when I came to visit you at NYU." I laughed and remarked, "That was so long ago- that was my sophomore year!" Nancy smiled, and I did too. Even though Nancy wasn't as close to me as Jimmy was, I still loved her to death.
We made our last stop of the day, the fashion district in Manhattan. I needed new clothes for work, and Nancy said she needed some new winter clothes. I bought jeans, sweaters, and a cardigan from Express, a nice dress and a few skirts and nice shirts from Abercrombie and Fitch, and then I bought some more jeans, long sleeve shirts, a pair of Vans, and a fashion scarf from Urban Outfitters. Nancy had helped me pick out everything, and we had a very similar sense of style. As Nancy drove us back home, I smiled and said, "Today was really fun. Thanks for doing this, Nance." She stopped at a red light and looked over at me. "Anytime, Meg! I had a lot of fun today! I never get to see you anymore and I love spending time with you." I blushed, and Nancy took the entrance onto the freeway. She said, "I love you, Meg. I can see so much of Jimmy in you, and so much of you in Jimmy. You guys are peas in a pod, and I thought I hit the jackpot when I met Jim, but then when I met you I knew I had definitely hit the jackpot." I blushed a little, and Nancy pulled into our driveway. "I'm proud of you, Megan. You've accomplished so much. I love you." I hugged her and said, "Thanks for a great day, Nance. I had a lot of fun." We entered the house to see Jimmy passed out on the couch with a sleeping Winnie under his arm. Nancy looked like she was about to melt from the cuteness that this moment held, and I smiled. I quietly took my bags upstairs to my room and began putting my things in my closet, and I heard Jimmy and Nancy playing with Winnie downstairs.
It couldn't get better than this- I knew that... But yet, something was still missing. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but it was something big that was missing...
And that something could be the difference between life and death in a mental state of mind.
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A/N: Hey pals! Sorry for the kinda heavy parts and stuff. I have the plot line figured out, and I'm so excited! I just want you to know that I'm going to Florida tomorrow morning, and I'm not sure if I'm gonna have service to update the next chapter until I get home!
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7th Floor West | JF
Fanfiction{A Jimmy Fallon FanFic!} Megan was a fresh graduate from New York University, and she was on the hunt for a full time job. Since she was a Media and Film major at NYU, she's looking to work in the entertainment industry. To her advantage, she has co...
