Harry had it all a family a great group of friends and the love of his life by his side. A chance of fulfilling his dreams means he has to leave all that behind as he makes a choice that will change his life forever. 7 years pass and Harry is a famo...
Harry is here, Harry is here, Harry is here it's like a continuous loop going on in my head as I drag Evan down the street desperate to get to the car. I can't believe this is happening, well I knew he would come but coming face to face with him in the library of all places was not something I anticipated and especially not with Evan. Fuuuuuuckkk Evan, he's seen him. My heart is racing does he know? does he suspect? my brain working ten to the dozen as I try to remember what words passed between our lips. It was like a moment frozen in time. The first time our eyes locked I could feel it. The bitter emotions rising up my chest mixed in with the feelings I've tried hard to squash over the last few years every time I've thought about him and how much I miss him.
I was shocked, standing there frozen in time as I looked into them familiar green eyes. He looked amazing, I mean of course he did and there I am dressed like this, fuck I hadn't even thought about what I was wearing how I looked. Embarrassment floods through me. I hoped id of at least looked presentable the first time I saw him Jesus Christ.
I reach the car opening the door for Evan to climb in strapping him in his car seat before I make my way over to the driver's side.
"louis" I can still hear him plead with me as I got to the door, the look of desperation and hurt in his eyes as I turned round and looked at him. I couldn't stay, I'm not ready for this. I often pictured what would happen if I came face to face to him. In my vision I was me giving him a piece of my mind, hurting him with words to crush his soul like he crushed mine and yet there I was, and I couldn't say a dam word. I turn the key the car coming to life and look in the mirror back at Evan. He's just sitting there unaware that he just seen his dad, just so innocent looking down at his iPad that I always leave in the car to keep him occupied. He's never really asked about his dad just the odd comment and I myself being a coward have never elaborated just told him his daddy had to go and work away and he would come back when he could. It's a lousy reason I know but it seemed to settle him, I mean, he's only young and we had Luke there, so he didn't really dwell on it. I suppose them questions would have eventually come as he got older and understood more.
I continue to look at him. A perfect mix of me and Harry. He has the most extraordinary eyes, bluey/green, my little nose yet his dad's plump lips unlike my thinner ones. His hair is tame like mine yet there is the slight little curl on the ends as its growing longer. I love him so much and yet now all I feel is guilt. How am I going to do this, I don't know what to do. It's not like I didn't try and tell Harry, I did but there's only so much you can do when calls and messages don't get answered. I pleaded and begged him to call me, until he changed his number completely and moved halfway across the other side of the world. I did think about contacting his music company but I'm sure they get 1000s of emails each week from someone or other claiming he is the father of their child.
"Hey mate" how you feel about going to visit nannie for a bit" I ask him. I don't want to go home. I can't face Luke and besides I desperately need my mom's advice. I know she will understand. My mom is amazing, she's been there for me and Evan all through this and I know I just need her calming words to help me think straight.
"Yay" he beams excitedly, he loves his nannie, grandad and his aunts as much as me. I think that's because he's totally spoilt by them. Thye idolise him. "Ok buddy lets go then". I put the car into drive and make my way, Evan humming happily biting his bottom lip in concentration as he looks at the screen he's holding, he totally got that from Harry.
I pull up to the house, my childhood home and before I've even undone my belt Evan is out the car running to the door. "Nannie" Evans voice shouts down the hallway as soon as we have entered. Hes a live wire, mom says he's just like me when I was his age. I have to agree.
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