Behind walls

chapter six

Charles POV

I have a really bad headache. I don't even want to open my eyes I just want to continue sleeping but I do it anyway. I open my eyes. 
"Where am I?", I ask myself. The room I'm in is not mine.
I get up and walk out and finally recognize the appartment. It's Landos. While walking past the living room I see Pierre sleeping there. He looks like he had the same night as I did. 
I keep walking and meet Lando in the kitchen.
"Hey mate. Water?", he asks.
I nod and sit down on one of the chairs at the table. He hands me the water and sits down next to me.
"Rough night huh?", I say.
He looks a little hungover too.
"Yes. Bad headache."
"Yeah me too"
We continue sitting there and sipping on our water until Pierre enters the kitchen.
He sees us sitting there, takes a glass of water too and sits down next to us. 
A few minutes later Luisa and Julie enter the kitchen too. Julie is still wearing the hot dress of yesterday night. I look down at myself and notice that I'm still wearing the clothes of yesterday night.
"Hey guys", Julie says breaking the silence.
"Wow are you that hungover?", she asks and we all nod.
"I have no idea what happend last night", Pierre says and Lando and me agree.
"You don't?", Luisa says and looks at Julie smirking and they both laugh.
"What?", I ask.
"You really don't remember anything?", she asks again. They're both almost laughing.
"No. What did I do?"
"They threw you out of the club", she says.
"Why? What did I do?", I ask again kind of panicking.
"I don't know. We were all dancing and having fun when Julie came and told us. We all went home after.", Luisa says.
"What did I do Julie?", I ask her.
"Well you...", she starts but stops.
"Julie just tell me"
"Okay. So there was this guy who was hitting on me and I danced with him. After some time he started touching me even tough I sayd no and you must've overheard or something because not even two seconds later you were on top of him punching him in the face. That's why your knuckles are bruised.", she says and points down to my hands. She's right. They're bruised and were bleeding.
Pierre gives me a high five.
"Thank you Charles", he says.
Julie walks over and gives me a hug from behind. 
"Thanks Charles", she says and gives me a kiss on the cheeck before going over to the counter to get some water too.
We all sit down at the table and take out our phones.
There are plenty of videos of last night.
Lando dj-ing, Pierre with some girl, Luisa dancing with Lando when he wasn't dj-ing and photos of me and Julie dancing together.
After some time we decide to go to our own places.
"How long are you staying for?", I ask Pierre.
"We have to be out of the room at four this afternoon", he says.
"No you can't go home already", Lando says.
"Yes stay here. We have enough of space.", Luisa adds.
"No we can't be staying over at yours again", Julie says.
"Of course you can don't worry.", Luisa says.
"Yeah and one of you can also stay at my place if you want to I have enough space for the both of you", I say.
"Only if you guys want to", Lando says.
"Yes we do. Of course.", Pierre says.
We agree that they both stay at my place since I have a lot of free space since Arthur's not over and I would be alone otherwise.

Julie POV

Pierre and I will be staying over at Charles' for the next week. We just finished packing our things and head down to Charles car now. We get inside and start driving.
I don't know if I should tell Charles what really happend last night.
"Everything okay?", Charles asked me. He must've seen me through the mirror.
"Yes sure.", I say and look out of the window again.
We quickly arrive at his appartment. I get out of the car and want to grab my bags but Charles already took them and is already walking up the stairs.
He takes out his keys and let's us inside.
His appartment isn't very big but still very comfy. 
"Oh my god can you play?", I ask him pointing to the Piano.
"Yes but I never do", he says.
"Why?"
"Because I used to play with Charlotte and since the breakup I haven't played"
I feel bad that I asked him this question. 
"Oh I'm so sorry Charles", I say and go over to give him a hug. At first he hesitates but then he hugs me back. We stand there hugging until he backs away and walks towards the kitchen where Pierre is standing.
"You got food? Like good food?", he asks pointing at the fridge.
"Yeah help yourself", Charles answers and turns around again. 
He keeps walking and I follow him. He stops at a room and opens the door.
"This is your room. It doesn't have a bath though. The bath is at the end of the hallway we all share one", he says.
"Formula one driver and can't even afford a bathroom?", he looks at me annoyed.
"God that was just a joke. Relax a little", I say and he just rolls his eyes and walks away.
"Idiot", I murmor and get my bags and take them to my room.
The room isn't very big but also not small. It has a double bed in the middle of the room. The walls are painted in a light grey. Also the bed is coverd with different grey shades. There's also two windows with a great view over Monte Carlo. I pack out my things and leave my room.
I sit down on the coutch and switch on the TV. 
"What are you watching?", Pierre asks and sits down next to me.
"I don't know. I wanted to watch a movie or something you in?"
"Of course I'm in", he says and we search for a movie.
"Pierre is everything okay with Charles?"
"I don't know. The breakup with Charlotte was really messed up. He even wanted to propose to her but she broke up with him before he had the chance."
"Why?"
"Because they never saw eachother. He was always on tour with formula one and she was also always away. It just wasn't healthy anymore even though they loved eachother. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be"
"That's sad."
Love can be hard. When you have a relationsship everybody just sees the good side of you but never the bad. There can be days where you are always fighting but show yourself of your best side when the paparazzis are there. I once had a really big fight with Théo before I left. We were fighting because I told him about my feelings towards Charles. This same night I went to Charles appartment and told him about my feelings since I had nothing left to loose. It didn't end well. 
The next day I showed up in public again with Théo even though we weren't really talking to eachother. Sometimes the life as a celebrety is hard. You don't have a real private life. You just pray to god that people won't notice your eyebags or the brusies that are left after a fight.
"That's a great movie. Let's watch that", Pierre says and I snap out of my thoughts.
"Yes sure. Let me ask Charles if he wants to watch the movie with us too"
He nods and I get up. I walk through the hallway and look at the pictures that are hanging on the walls. Family pictures, carting pictures and even one of Charles, Lando and Pierre when they were little.
I knock at his door.
"Come in", I hear him saying and I open the door.
He's laying on his bed his back facing me looking at his phone.
"Do you want to watch a movie with us?", I ask.
No answer.
"I would also cook for you if you want to?", I add.
"Okay if you insist", he says a little annoyed and gets up. He walks past me and gives me a slight smile. I smile too before leaving his room and closing the door.
He sits down next to Pierre and they start the movie while I prepare dinner in the kitchen.
I have to think about Charles. Of course I saw what he was looking at on his phone. He was looking at pictures of him and Charlotte. I also saw the picturesof him and her on his night stand. One of them was shattered. I'm not judging him though. Sometimes I look at pictures of me and Théo too. Even after everything that he did, I was still madly in love with him.
I ask myself if I should talk to him about it but decide not to do so.
"Do you need help?", I hear someone asking behind me.
"I'm almost finished but you could help taking the plates over.", I say and smile at Charles who's standing at the door.
He helps me finish the plates and takes them to the living room. I quickly clean up before going to the living room too and sitting next to him. 
While eating I see him laughing out of the corner of my eye. I wonder if it's fake or not.
"I'm tired I'm going to sleep", Pierre says and we wish him a good night.
I take the plates and walk to the kitchen to clean them up.
"No julie it's okay I can do that", Charles says walking behind me.
"No it's okay really", I say and start cleaning up.
He walks over to the counter and leans on it before saying: "I'm sorry"
"For what?", I ask him.
"For being so mean earlier. I don't know what got into me"
"Charles it's okay. Nobody said breakups are going to be easy okay? Nobody demands from you to forget her. Healing takes time", I say and give him a smile.
"How can you speak about it that easy?", he asks.
I stop what I'm doing and turn around to look at him.
"What?"
"How can you speak about the breakup so easily. I mean yours and Théos?"
"It's not easy. Everytime I talk about it I ask myself: Wasn't I good enough? Was I the problem? But I'll never know. I will never know if I was the problem or if I was good enough. Sometimes things just aren't meant to be and I had to accept that to look forward in life. I'm not saying you should forget about her or something but don't grieve about something that isn't worth it. I noticed that I should look forward in life and not hang on to the past. The truth is Théo was an idiot and I had to realize that what he did wasn't out of love"
"What did he do?"
"Have you ever wondered where I got the bruises from?", I ask looking down at my feet.
"He didn't right?"
"Yes he did. At first I thought he would stop and it was just a one time thing but it wasn't. He did it more often and often and afterwards he would always apologize to me and tell me he loves me and would never do it again. Well, he did. He even cheated on me once. Before we left for our journey he fucked my best friend and I found out almost two years later. She even came with us on this journey. It was just so fucked up. I mean she was my best friend and he was my boyfriend. I found out the night before we flew back to France. When I confronted him he didn't even deny it instead he gave me the fault. When we then arrived at the airport he broke up with me because 'he had realized life has so much more to give'."
I haven't even realized that I started crying. Charles comes over and gives me a hug. I immeadiately start sobbing and break down crying. I haven't let myself these emotions until now. I just went clubbing all the time or told myself I'm fine. 
"It's okay", he says and holds me tighter. We're now sitting at the kitchenfloor.
After some time I stop crying and look away.
"Don't look away", he says turning my head around with his hand. He puts a strand of hair behind my ear and looks me deep into the eyes.
For some moment I think he's about to kiss me but he looks away after some time.
"You know I wanted to propose to Charlotte?"
"Pierre told me", I say.
"I noticed someting was off but I thought it was nothing important. I was just so in love with her and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her but she broke up with me the day before. She said everything I care about would be these cars and my carreer with ferrari and that we never really have time for eachother. Maybe she was right. I love racing. It's everything to me. The best feeling is sitting in this car and racing with my friends. ", he stops and looks at me.
"You know if she doesn't accept that she wasn't the right choice. You should get yourself a girl that wears your merch and watches your races.", I say and turn my head now too.
We share intense eyecontact before he kisses me. Just a short but passionate kiss.
My eyes are still closed when we backs away.
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have kissed you", he says and leans back against the wall again.
"No it's okay. Don't be sorry. Maybe that's just what we need right now.", I say and smile at him.
He looks at me questioningly but I just get up and smile at him one last time before saying: "Good night Charles" and leaving the kitchen. I walk to my room and fall asleep thinking about the one and only Charles Leclerc.