Behind walls

chapter fifteen

Julie POV

Charles, Pierre, Carlos and Lando continue stying in Austria a little longer since I'm still in the hospital. I've been feeling a lot better the past few days and even started eating again. Sometimes I still feel like throwing up but the vomiting got less. I was even allowed to go outside again yesterday. I can't walk alone very long after everything but we brought a wheelchair. We went for a walk in the hospital park. Well it's not really a park but it's also not some little lawn. We walked around for a little until I got tired and then they pushed me back in my wheelchair. 
Now we're sitting in my room playing cards.
"No you're cheating. This is not possible", Carlos says to Lando.
"I'm not fucking cheating mate", Lando says defending himself.
"Yes you are. How come you win for the third time now?"
"I don't know maybe because you're shit mate"
They fully start arguing. I chuckle a little at my sight. They're fighting like two little children.
"It's funny isn't it?", Charles asks smiling at me.
"It's better than these reality TV shows", I say and we both start laughing.
"What are you two laughing about?", Lando asks us very seriously and they both look at us.
"About you two arguing. It's just a game. We can just play another round maybe one of us others will win", I say and start shuffling the cards.
"But he's cheating", Lando says.
Carlos and him start arguing again. I playfully roll my eyes and look at them as Charles tries to calm them down a little. 
Suddenly I feel my stomach turn and run to the toilet.
I can feel my lunch leaving my body again.
"It's okay. It's okay don't worry I'm here", Charles says as he runs inside and holds my hair up. He sits down next to me and gently places his hand on my back. 
"Okay I think I'm finished", I say and lift my head up again.
Lando and Carlos are also standing in the doorway now.
Charles holds out his arms and I let my head fall into his chest. 

Charles POV

As she leans on to my chest I nod for Lando and Carlos as a sign to tell them that I'm going to take care of her. The last few days have been better but sometimes she still throws up because she just can't keep her food inside of her. In such moments I always rush to her side and wait for her to finish before I hug her. It's like a little ritual right now. I also promised Pierre that I would take care of her because he had to leave early because of some appointment with Alpha Tauri. First he didn't want to leave since his parents left too already and he didn't want to let her alone but Carlos, Lando and I convinced him to go and we would stay here with her. We booked a hotel near here and decided to spend some days here since their girlfriends are all out of town right now.
I feel Julie lifting her head up again.
"Are you okay?", I ask her.
"Yes I am now. Thank you"
She then looks at me before she hugs me again.
Her hugs feel good. No they feel amazing. If I could I would never let her go again.
"Hey mate your brothers calling", Carlos shouts.
About five seconds later he enters the bathroom and hands me the phone.
"Arthur, how are you?", I ask.
"I'm good. How's Julie? Is she better now?", he asks.
"I'm okay", she answers and lays down in my lap. She's very exaustet all the time from these attacks or whatever to call them.
"Oh did you have to throw up again?", Arthur asks.
"Yes she had too. But it's gotten much better now don't worry. She's recovering pretty well and keeping strong. She even kept her lunch inside of her for a little more than an hour."
"Sounds better. I hope you get well soon and I'll see you two again.", Arthur says.
"Sure brother. You'll see us again for the summer break in about two weeks."
"Great to hear. Well I have to leave now I'm sorry. Training you know. I'll call you again in the evening or tomorrow. See you and get well soon Julie"
"Thank you", she says with a soft voice.
"See you Arthur bye", I say and hang up the phone.
I put the phone aside and take my right hand to take her hair out of her face.
"Can we please lay down in the bed?", Julie asks.
"Of course we can"
I pick her up and carry her to her bed
"You know I can walk by myself", she says and laughs.
"But why walk when you have me to carry you?"
"Right"
We both laugh and I lay her down. 
Carlos and Lando are sitting at the floor with their phones in their hands.
"Rest a little", I say and smile. I wait for her to close her eyes before I sit down with Carlos and Lando. We all look at our social media for a little until we all fall asleep on the floor too.

Julie POV

I wake up as the doctor enters the room. He starts walking inside but stops as he sees the three of them laying on the floor sleeping. He gives me a questioning look but I just laugh and shrug my shoulders. 
"Charles, Lando, Carlos wake up", I say a little loudly and hear them growling.
They start shushing me down because they want to continue sleeping but stop as they see the doctor standing there.
"Oh we're sorry. We didn't know you would be here too", Lando says.
The doctor and I look at eachother and start laughing a little.
"So now that everyone is awake I can finally share my news with you. Julie you are being dismissed tomorrow morning if everything's going well. Now a little vomiting is still normal because your belly isn't fully recovered by now. But the next few days everything should normalize again."
"Awesome", Carlos says.
"Anything else?", Charles asks.
"No, I'll leave now then if you don't need me anymore miss Gasly. If something should be wrong just call the nurse. The nurse that was here the last few days will also be the one to check on you tomorrow and dismiss you if everything's alright"
"Sounds good to me. Thank you", I say and shake his hand.
"No problem.", he says and walks out of the room but stops in the doorway.
"Oh and good luck on your next races", he says smiling before closing the door.
"Looks like they did recognize us", Carlos says.
"Of course they do", Charles says and starts laughing.
"What I thought that they didn't because nobody asked for a picture yet or a autograph.", Carlos says.
"Have you thought about the fact that they maybe don't want a picture with you mate?", Lando asks him.
Carlos looks at him serious before saying a sarcastic :"haha very funny".
"Can you two stop fighting with eachother now please. I can finally leave this place and get some real food", I say excited.
They all look at me weirdly.
"I'm going to keep the food the next time alright?", I say and we all start laughing a little.
The rest of the day passes pretty fast and I'm even able to keep my dinner even though it tasted awful. Lando even said: "Wow after almost a week of hospitalfood I need to go to a restaurant".
I don't want to be rude or anything but the food wasn't really my taste either.

Charles POV

I wake up as the bathroom door opens.
I immediately get up and rush to the bathroom and see Julie sitting next to the toilet.
"Is everything okay?", I ask her.
"Yes for a moment I felt like I needed to throw up but I didn't. I still feel like shit though."
"At least your food is still inside of you till now. See it positive", I say and put my hand on her back again.
"Yes but if I throw up I atleast feel relieved but with the feeling of needing to vomit it's even worse.", she says and leans again the wall know. We're now sitting next to eachother.
"Oh come on. You need to keep your food for once. Let's be happy about that okay? "
"Mhm", she says and lays in my lap again.
We continue there like that until she gets up again.
"I think I'm okay now. Let's go back to sleep", she says and gets up.
"No let me take you to your bed", I say as she walks out of the bathroom.
"Charles I need to walk myself now again. As much as I adore getting carried by you all the time I'm a grown woman."
She lays down in her bed and I cover her with the blanket again. I make sure she's nice and comfy before going back to the other bed and lay down myself.
After I settled everything in it get's silent again. 
I'm almost asleep as she says: " Thank you Charles that you're here for me now. I don't take it for granted that you care for me like that. You're nice guy you know?", I hear her saying.
"No I didn't know thank you Julie", I answer smiling.
"I don't get how Charlotte could leave you. You're such a great guy and everything a girl wants. These tiktoks were right. Charles Leclerc really is an apology from god for creating men", she makes a little pause and chuckles and I do too.
"I would never leave you if you gave me the chance you know. But you're too good for me. Well, good night Charles"
"No wait. Why too good for you"
"You're a beautiful looking 24-year old man. You've got so much patience and understanding if you want too. You're always so nice to everyone even if they don't treat you the same. You're everything I need in a guy. And still you're so far away from me. You're the big brother of one of my best friends and you're a good friend of my brother and other friend. I would never be able to get you. Overall I'm still the annoying little sister of Pierre and the annoying little friend of Arthur. So as much as I want you, I can't have you", she says and I'm speechless.
Wow I never thought about it like that. Of course she has a chance with me if she wanted too. 
I must admit I always thought about her as the annoying little girl she just described but as she got older she also got more beautiful and mature causing me to like her. I never admitit it to myself though because I was afraid of the reactions of everybody. 
We're both adults now so why not ask her out. I really like her if I'm honest. And probably even more than a friend.
I want to tell her about my thoughts but don't have the guts to do so.
I just keep silent .
Fucking Idiot.