failed attempts to fly

you're gonna be the one that saves me

Cold.

The cold draft of the empty room sends shivers down his body. He's never needed any cover or blanket because his body heat runs hot. He usually strips down to his boxers and calls them pajamas.

But right now, all he feels is cold.

He only closed his eyes for a split second, and now the room was empty, untouched as if she didn't even exist.

She didn't seem the type of person to leave, especially in the middle of the night. But all he knew was the indentation where she rested was still there, even the mild warmth of where her body lay, but she was not.

Is she gone?

*******************************

As far as the way he lives his life, it can be defined as coasting through it. Everything that happens in his life and the opportunities he's been given all be because he was at the right place at the right time. It's what he thinks, anyway.

The start of college began, and Iwaizumi was happy to gain some semblance of independence. Iwaizumi's parents weren't strict or anything, but it was the dark shadow that followed him around the second he picked up a volleyball. He was average, according to himself, and he enjoyed the noise echoing through the gym as he smacked the ball hard to the ground.

His best friend was playing, so it was only natural for Iwaizumi to join. And his parents were happy to see him out of the house doing anything that didn't involve heavy rock music. Classic parents, the type who thinks music rots your a person's brain.

The only difference is that Oikawa knew the second he served the ball that it was his calling. Iwaizumi saw the glimmer in his best friend's eyes as if he knew he could do this for the rest of his life.

Iwaizumi, however, has never experienced that feeling before.

"You like playing sports, kid?" His uncle asked him once, he traveled a lot and rarely made an appearance, but Iwaizumi saw him at least once a year.

"I mean, yeah." A teenage Iwaizumi shrugged. "Dad said I could even get a scholarship."

"Yeah, but you know how my brother is. Always on the straight and narrow." His uncle mildly scoffed. "But it's okay to stray, ya know? To take the road less traveled."

The "black sheep of the family" is an adequate definition of his uncle, with full tattooed sleeves, gauges, piercings, and long hair worn in a loose bun. Lover of all things beautiful, regardless of sex or gender, a wild child, as his older brother used to call him, as somewhat of an insult.

He used to come over often when Iwaizumi was a kid, but as the years passed, it became less and less. No one ever talked about it, but Iwaizumi was smart enough to know he was the reason.

For his 10th birthday, he was gifted a drum set by his uncle, and Iwaizumi's dad was less than pleased.

"Why did you buy him such a ridiculous present?"
"What do you mean ridiculous? Did you see his face? I've never seen him so happy."
"Well, not all of us can be as naive as you, who lives the world without worries. Don't give hope to the kid. He has a future ahead of him. Don't ruin it with silly hobbies and stupid dreams."
"But you know what I think is stupid? Cutting off his wings before he's gotten the chance to fly."

It was his senior year of high school when Iwaizumi confided in his uncle's help to find a place to live. Living at home was nice, but he was ready for independence. Oikawa offered, more like begged, Iwaizumi to room with him at the university. It seemed like a good idea, which he seriously considered. However, Oikawa requires a lot of attention, and attention comes with noise. And Iwaizumi didn't want to walk into a frat house every day.