failed attempts to fly

all i ever wanted

What does one wear to a date?

I've been asking myself this question as I stare at my closet, almost angrily, because I have no idea what to wear.

Lucky for me, I calculated about three more panic attacks before noon, so there's plenty of time.

"What's wrong?" Rio's voice echoes from the hallway. He must have passed by my open door about four times before he asked me why I was standing there.

"I don't know what to wear." I groan.

I want to look good. Of course, I do. But I also don't want to come off as desperate, which I may, or not be.

I've never really cared about what I wore, just as long as it's comfortable. Most of the time, I settled for one of Rio's old hoddies and called it a day. But this is different. This is a date with Iwaizumi. Arguably the most attractive man I have ever laid my eyes on.

So what the fuck do I wear?!

"So you really are going on a date?" Rio asks, trying his hardest to hide his brother's overprotectiveness.

"Yes-I mean, n-no." I stutter.

It shouldn't matter if I tell him I'm going on a date. But it's a little embarrassing to talk relationship with my brother.

"Uh-huh, sure." He rolls his eyes, "Don't try to be someone your not. I mean, they asked you out for a reason, right? Be yourself." He says before walking back into his room.

The mall is the top worst place for a person who doesn't like crowds to be. And yet here I am, having my second panic attack of the day, right on time.

Why am I even here? I must have whispered to myself a million times since arriving.

After walking around endlessly and pointlessly, I settled for a smoothie. So it wasn't a wasted trip.

"Rin? What are you doing here?"

"Oh, you know, contemplating my entire existence while drinking a smoothie." I huff. The voice was familiar. Therefore, I didn't hesitate to answer. But I would've told a stranger my gripe at this moment if they'd ask.

Silver hair walks to the chair directly in front of me, with a friendly smiling face, like a fairy godbrother coming to save the day. His voice has always been gentle, patient, and ready to listen. I don't remember a time that I didn't know Suga. He's always been around ever since I was a kid. And for a long time, he was the one person I confided in, my surrogate older brother.

"Koushiiiii, help meeee." I whine, slumping my cheek on the cold table.

"Well, first, get your face off the dirty table." He laughs, "what's wrong?"

"I don't know what to wear."

"Alright. I'll help. What's the occasion?" He sincerely says, ready to drop what he was doing to help the train wreck that is my life.

"Date..." I whisper.

His eyes widen momentarily, trying to hide the shock on his face.

I've never really dated anyone before. I've only had one long-term boyfriend, so Suga's surprised face isn't unwarranted.

"Alright, let's go." He doesn't hesitate, forcing me up from my slump to the nearest trendy clothing store.

I've never had any specific aesthetic, nor do I ever wear something just because it's what's in style. Black is usually my preferred color choice, which is always the style. Right?

I've always admired Suga's fashion sense. He's always trendy and never afraid to add a pop of color.

His eyebrows furrow together as he scans the racks. No time for small talk as he focused on his task. I knew he was the right man for the job.