failed attempts to fly

did you fall for a shooting star?

Life continued, and nothing changed.

Daichi remained Daichi, which was even more painful than being rejected. I wished he ignored me or was rude to me, anything but looking at me with such sorrow in his eyes.

For obvious reasons, I stopped watching their practices, stopped hanging out with the boys, and tried to do my own thing. He never questioned it or wondered why I wasn't around so much anymore. I don't think he needed me to spell it out for him.

When it was his turn to move to high school, it was the only time I was actually relieved of our age difference.

I still saw him often hanging out with Rio, but I had a whole year to myself at school, which I appreciated. I no longer had to walk home with everyone while holding my breath. I could finally breathe.

I could finally let go.

Suga was the only one to notice the shift and did his best as his fill-in older brother.

Rio and I drifted apart, mainly because I was ashamed of myself for feeling angry toward him. He did nothing wrong, it was me, but I couldn't face him.

"And they have a really cool art club. I think you should join it." It was the summer before my journey to high school as Suga was doing what he does best, giving me advice while shopping.

"Yeah, I'll think about it." I didn't even try to sound convincing.

"Liar." He rolled his eyes. "The school is so big it's like a freakin maze." He tried to say in a reassuring tone.

The chances of running into Daichi are slim. That is what Suga meant to say.

"When am I ever that lucky?" I scoffed, looking into the crowd of people at the mall.

Speak his name, and he will appear type shit.

Suga followed the direction my eyes were looking, uttering the words "shit" when he saw what I saw: Daichi on a date.

They didn't see us, too busy with themselves to notice our escape.

"I probably wasn't what it looked liked." Suga tried to console me but failed miserably. He also is not a very convincing liar.

I didn't ask for the details, but that didn't stop him from trying to explain it to me.

She asked him out, and I didn't think he'd say yes.

"It's fine." I must have repeated it multiple times, trying to convince myself that it was fine. "It was bound to happen eventually."

My heart stung a little. There's no denying that. But part of me felt relieved, further cementing that it was time to move on.

The start of spring began and the start of a new school year.

I begrudgingly listen to Suga and found myself the in the mix of all the art club students, doing my best to blend in with the group.

The beauty of art students is they are all rejects, weirdos in their own right. It was like the breakfast club of art styles clashing together.

That's where I met Luka. He stuck out, literally. He was tall, just like a giraffe, with golden hair and big blue eyes covered with fluttering pale eyelashes. He was charismatic, flirtatious--a little full of himself. I questioned why he was in the art club, of all places. But he noticed me. And it felt nice to feel wanted for once.

"You've ever kissed anyone, Schuyler?" His foreign accent was funny as he would pronounce my name with a certain twang. Soon as he saw my last name and pronounced it correctly on the first try, he stuck beside me like glue. I think he thought I was a foreign exchange student too.