failed attempts to fly

my soul will have to wait

Strange.

It's the only word to describe these last few days.

The usual arguing duo is quiet. So quiet that I can hear Hinata's lack of breathing as he scarfs down his food and Kageyama slurps the last drop of milk.

"Okay, what's going on?" I break the silence. Usually, I would count the seconds until there was peace and quiet at our lunch table, but something was off. Looking at the two who are sitting spaced apart. "Did you two get into a fight?"

Silence.

"Well, whatever it is, just apologize and make up, already."

"MAKE OUT?! W-why would you say that?" Kageyama's vibrato echoed through the bustling cafeteria. Hinata and just about all the eyes in the room glanced over to his roaring. "S-shit." He huffs apologetically, full of embarrassment. "I-I gotta go." He storms off, leaving the table filled with more awkward silence.

"Hey, Hinata, I'll trade you my chocolate pudding for your jello. What do you say?"

"DEAL!" He forces a giggle, appreciating the changing of the subject.

A nosy person would want all the information, all the gossip. I am nosy. But the mortified look on Hinata's face tells me he doesn't want to talk about it.

The rest of lunch went by with both of us trying to fill the silence so we wouldn't talk about what just happened with our broodier friend. Hinata talked about volleyball, and I spoke about classical literature--yaoi.

"So anyways, they're both alpha's, and I know what you're thinking. How the hell does that work? But trust me, Hinata. When I tell you, it fucking works, and it so amazing, and artwork is so hot the way the artist illustrates their facial expression when they are going to cu--"

"--Hey Rin, can I ask you something?" Hinata's voice interrupts my BL rambling. I don't blame him. I was purposefully overly talking, waiting until he was ready to vent. "What if...let's say we both got drunk together and we...kissed?"

Cupping my hands together, I analyze his hypothetical question, "Well, people tend to do stupid things when they drink, right? So I would blame it on being under the influence and leave it at that." I answer honestly. "...Unless it was more than just a drunken kiss, and it meant more than that. Then I would have to think about what that means for our friendship...to the possibility of more."

Many starts of romances, in the manhwas I've intensely researched, usually start off with a drunken night of hot steamy making out. A little cliche, but still, it's a turning point in any story, or in real life, like now.

"But above all else, I'd value our friendship over anything else. So I'd want to work through all the awkwardness." I smile at him.

I may be a pro at reading boys' love, but the reality is much more delicate. Hinata and Kageyama are much more than images on a screen.

"Thanks, Rin." He gleams his genuine smile at me, almost sighing in relief at my response.

"GINGER! You better not be lounging around when you are damn nearly failing my class." The raspy grunt of disappointment can only be the famed Physical Education Professor. The chain-smoking, track jacket-wearing, way too fucking hot to be a teacher, Coach Ukai.

An orange dart speeds away, followed by blonde locks as Coach chases after him.

"Come back here, you little punk! I'll bench you if you fail my class! You hear me!?"

After the giggles subsided, the rest of lunch was quiet. Just me and my webtoons. Secretly wishing Hinata and Kageyama make up, or make out, soon...The table feels so empty now that I am all alone.