Heartbreak.
Nobody ever prepares you for it.
Because it's not something you can prepare for.
Heartbreak comes in different ways. Some people move on and get over it quickly, others will mourn over their lost relationship for some times, and a few...
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🎶: 'jealousy jealousy' by Olivia Rodrigo
Soobin was previously chilling in his room on his bed, scrolling through his social media, minding his own business. However, the tall teenager let his mood get soured and turn a whole 180 degrees when he saw some recent Twitter threads being uploaded onto his main feed.
Related to only one person, the person that he's most jealous of.
He kinda wanted to throw his phone across the room, angry at what he saw in the pictures that had been posted just.
It was prom night (which he didn't attend since absolutely no one asked him out and he didn't have the guts to ask anyone out either), and there were so many girls in those pictures that looked too beautiful to be real people, with their paper-white teeth grinning like Cheshire cats and perfect bodies that were hugged by the expensive dresses they wore.
But that was not the reason why Soobin's mood was so sour.
I mean, he obviously knows that their beauty isn't his lack, being handsome and all that vanity, but it still felt like a heavy weight was taking the free pass to settle on his back, and Soobin can feel that because this boy barely works out.
It was mainly because of the person who was posing in the center of the group of girls, smiling brightly into the camera like he didn't have a single care in the world.
"Just why is this little fucker there?"
The one whom he constantly gets compared to by his parents, because apparently this boy down the street has everything that he lacks in.
This boy was the reason why Soobin always overthinks everything whenever he confronts kids who don't know him personally, leading to a lot of self doubt.
And also happened to be the reason why Soobin slowly became so sick of himself, and would rather be with every ounce of his body than anyone else than the person he was, thinking that he just wasn't enough.
So yeah, the green monster of jealousy started following him, and would never leave him alone at any time of the day, night, and all the time zones in between.
So, who was the boy he was talking about?
Well, to just give the answer, he was extremely jealous of his neighbor, Kai Kamal Huening, also known as Hueningkai.
Soobin had this little hobby of his to spy on his neighbors at any time of the day, not having anything else to do.
So he doesn't consider that stalking, because in his point of view, he was simply curious about other people's lives.
That's how he always sees Hueningkai get all the things he wanted, spoiled by his family who probably never compares him to anyone.
Soobin tried his best to be happy for him, but then again, he's not because of that green monster swirling in his stomach.
And what he hated the most was seeing Hueningkai get cool vintage clothes, and sometimes he would bring exquisite vacation photos (yes, they went to the same school), and oh god that was when Soobin couldn't stand it.
Call him crazy; he wouldn't care.
Now, why does Soobin keep being compared to Hueningkai?
Well, the younger biracial boy had quite the reputation around his neighborhood for being a sweetheart who always helps people in need.
Ask anyone across town if they know and love him, and they would most definitely say yes.
Because who wouldn't love a cutie like him?
Meanwhile, Soobin was an anti-social introvert who never went out because he was just too awkward for it and he barely had friends either.
And oh lord did he throw a mental fit every time his parents needed to mention that.
Co-com-comparison is killing me slowly I think I think too much about kids who don't know me I'm so sick of myself, rather be, rather be Anyone, anyone else, but jealousy, jealousy
Hueningkai was basically everything Soobin wished he could be.
All of his friends are so cool and popular, which is why he goes out every night in his dad's nice car and always posts pictures on Twitter to show off all the fun he had.
Not only that, he also had a really pretty face and an even prettier partner too.
Soobin just wanted to be him so badly, even if he doesn't even know Hueningkai properly.
All he could see, blinded by his jealousy, is what he should be: happier, prettier, and he was beginning to lose it.
This whole inner comparison was driving him nuts; sometimes he couldn't even sleep at night because of all those thoughts. And the fact that his parents do nothing except make it even worse sickens him even more to the core.
Even his few friends couldn't understand him, and Soobin was just so tired of it.
Little did he know that the one whom he was jealous of, happened to be jealous of him as well.
Hueningkai knew Soobin really well because a lot of his not-so-cool friends kept on talking about him.
His friends always said that he was 'cute', 'kind', 'handsome' and 'everyone's first love visual'; most people had nothing bad to say about him.
But they also mentioned that he can come off as 'cold' to a lot of people, especially if you're on his bad side.
Hueningkai knows that, especially since from the minimal amount of times that he's talked with Soobin, the older had a very plain and cold expression.
But still, Hueningkai wished he could be him.
He often felt like he was too social, that he trusts people too easily, and that most people didn't really appreciate him and only complimented him to not make him feel bad.
So he too was sick of himself, and he'd much rather be someone like Soobin instead.
Someone who doesn't get close to anyone before throughly judging and interrogating their personality so he doesn't get hurt.
Funny, isn't it? They barely know each other personally, and yet they still want to be the other without even knowing the full story.
Because that's what jealousy does.
Once it starts following you, you won't stop feeling it until you're fully satisfied.
