Unknown

Chapter 8

Luke

Eleanor sat silently beside Aiden, Braden, Colin and I on the beach, her hair was flying in messy wavy tendrils in the wind. She huddled into her hoodie though as the sun was only just setting and the wind was slightly cool.

"You've been pretty quiet today El, are you okay" I muttered, she glanced at me her turquoise eyes more green in colour in the fading light. I loved it when her eyes were this colour.

"Yeah I've just been lost in thought" She replied and bit her lip a nervous habit of hers I've noticed over the years I have known Eleanor.

"Ellie if there is something you want to talk about, have trust in us that we will listen to you. We care about you, we love you El" Aiden muttered,

Aiden, Colin, Braden and I stared at Eleanor who was looking down at her bare feet drawing squiggles in the sand. "I...it's hard for me to say" she stuttered slightly taking a deep breath "I haven't been feeling myself lately, I've been feeling anxious, tense. I don't know why I feel this way.. I know everything around me is fine, but I could be walking with youse and ill have to hide how panicky I'm feeling and I don't want you to worry, it's so stupid but George installed like a phobia against people caring for me, he never cared about me, he threw me in the deep end when my parents passed away he lowered my self-esteem, he made me hate who I was and that still hurts and I think I'm too scared to let anyone get very close to me. Every time I get in a car lately I have a sense of foreboding, it's a different road, different day but I feel so tense and on edge it's like I'm waiting for an accident that is never going to happen."

I grabbed Eleanor's hand as her fingertips were tapping her knee; I ran my thumb in circles on the top of her hand soothingly. "El" Braden muttered.

She looked up from staring at the sea and turned towards Brad, his short black hair blew in the wind and the sunset cast shadows and prominent angles on his face. "You are so brave" Braden stated.

"Brad I feel like such a coward letting my thoughts and emotions get the better of me" she stated.

"But Eleanor you just admitted your anxieties to us and that takes guts, you talked about your fears Ellie...you are so brave and I'm so proud of you Eleanor" Braden stated, he smiled at Eleanor.

She looked away from us turning slightly red.

"You let your walls down just then El, you spoke your inner most insecurities and you said you're afraid of letting anyone get close to you. That is the most you've ever shown of your true self El in the years I've known you, you let us see you as you are. And Eleanor, honey we are still here" I stated.

She smiled, tears running down her face, she looked so vulnerable, so herself. Eleanor had always had her walls up, I may have been closer to her than Aiden, Colin or Braden but Eleanor still hid her true self, she always tried to hide her anxiety, put on a brave face and this was the first time in the years I had been friends with Eleanor she seemed so grounded, so down to earth, so vulnerable. I leaned over the space between us and kissed her cheek. Eleanor turned even redder.

"Aww Ellie's blushing that's a bit cute" Aiden muttered poking Eleanor's cheek with his finger.

Eleanor dragged up the neck of her hoddie hiding her face in her jumper, I let out a laugh. Aiden threw his arms around Eleanor. "Group hug!" Aiden shouted.

Eleanor squealed as she fell backwards into the sand Aiden, Colin, Braden and I hugged her and each other slightly lying on top of one another. Eleanor was laughing so hard, she was crying. "Eleanor's broken." Braden muttered.

...

I plopped my suitcase near the door and walked through the flat searching for Eleanor, stopping on my way upstairs, the back light was on Eleanor was laying in the grass looking up at the sky. I smiled and made my way out to the backyard crossing the grass my thongs making the grass dint little and brush my toes.
"Every star has a memory" I muttered sitting down on the ground beside Ellie quoting something she had said to me years ago in London when we were still teenagers.