Church, Tucker, Daniel, and Caboose are standing on top of Blue Base.
Church: Let me get this straight.. You gave this guy our flag?
Caboose: Is that bad?
Church: Bad? Oh no, that's not bad. Next time he comes over, why don't you just help him blow up the whole goddamn base?
Daniel: As our "CO" it's your responsibility to make sure that proper actions are taken to avoid these infiltrations. Or are you an incompetent CO?
Church: Fuck. Off.
Tucker: There, there he is.
Church: (looking through the sniper rifle) Where? Oh, yeah, oh, I got him. He's sneaking around back behind the cliffs.
Tucker: He must be one smart son of a bitch.
Cut to Donut looking around the canyon.
Donut: Oh, man, I am so freakin' lost. Where the hell is the base?
Cut to Church, Tucker, and Caboose.
Church: Oh, shit... Hey Tucker, look at his armor. It's red.
Tucker: Oh man, that means it's their Sergeant.
Daniel: Somehow I doubt he would just walk over and take the flag. Seeing as how we have a GODDAMN TANK!
Church: (Ignoring Daniel) Well, that makes sense. At least now we know how he got by our defenses.
Daniel: What defenses?! He walked up next to you and you completely ignored him, he literally talked to you!
Caboose: Uh, you know.. he came in the back door where you guys were standing.
Daniel: EXACTLY MY POINT!!!
Tucker: Yeah, okay, well whoever he is, let's just take him out already
Church: Roger that. Okay, say goodnight, Sarge.
Cut to Donut as Church shoots four times but misses.
Donut: (crouching) Son of a bitch!
Cut to Church and Tucker.
Church: Aw crap.
Tucker: ...
Church: (turns to Tucker) ...What?
Tucker: You're REALLY not very good with that thing, are you?
Daniel: Y'know, I used to be a bad shot, but that's the worst shooting I've ever seen, of all time.
Cut to Donut.
Donut: (shouting at Blue Base while waving the flag) Hey! It's me! Don't shoot! I'm the guy that bought the flag, remember!?
Cut to Tucker.
Tucker: Oh great, now he's taunting us. That's just embarrassing.
Daniel: Church deserves it, the guy wasn't even trying to avoid the bullets and he still missed.
Church: Alright, that's it, I've had it. Rookie, you stay here. Me and Tucker, we'll head through the teleporter, we'll cut him off at the pass.
Caboose: Right!
Daniel: (Sarcastic) What about me oh valiant leader?
Church: You stay here with the Rookie, keep him from fucking everything up again. Tucker, you ready? Let's go.
Tucker: There is no way I'm going through that thing.
Church: Tucker, we don't have time for this. Why would they give us a teleporter if it doesn't work?
Tucker: I don't know, why would they give us a tank that no one can drive?
Church: We already tested the teleporter, remember?
Tucker: We threw rocks through it!
Church: Yeah, and, so what? The rocks came out the other side, didn't they?
Daniel: Nonliving organisms will react differently than living ones dumbass. Also those rocks were steaming hot and covered in some weird black material.
Church: Oh, so I guess that's what this is all about then. You're afraid of a little black stuff.
Tucker: Yes. I am. I am afraid of black stuff.
Church: Tucker, I almost hate to do this to you. (raising his gun at Tucker)
Tucker: You wouldn't...
Church: You know, I look at it this way: Either A, we go through there and get the flag back, or B, we stay here and I get to kill you. Either way, I win.
Tucker: For the record, I want you to know, rocks aren't people.
Church: Duly noted. Now get in there.
Tucker: Crap... Alright. One, two...
Tucker runs through and doesn't appear on the other side.
Caboose: ...Huh, he didn't come out the other side...
Church: Yeeaahhh, I've uh- I've decided I'm not gonna use the teleporter.
Daniel: You better start running before I shoot ya, and you know I won't miss.
Church: Alright alright! I'm going.
Church runs off the base to chase Donut.
Church: Okay, rookie, you stay here! I'll be back with the flag!
Cut to Simmons and Grif.
Simmons: I still have no idea what you're talking about. I didn't hear any shots.
Grif: (sighs) I'm telling you, it was four shots. Like bam, bam, bam.
Simmons: Wait a second, that's only three bams.
Grif: Bam. (sees Church through a sniper rifle) Wait a second, we've got a Blue guy on the move out there.
Simmons: Where's he headed?
Grif: (looks to the left) Oh crap. It... It's Donut. And he's got something... (zooms in) It looks like... (sees that it's the Blue's flag)...Simmons, get the Warthog.
Simmons: Heh, you mean the Puma?
Grif: Yeah, keep making jokes. That'll win the war.
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Red Vs. Blue: Agent Utah
FanfictionUtah or Daniel, was once a Freelancer, an underdog at that. When he discovered what the Director was doing, he banded together with Tex and York in the mission where they ultimately failed. Now in hiding, he finds himself surrounded by idiots and he...
