Sarge and Grif are standing next to the Warthog which is now on its side behind Red Base. Lopez is crouched over it, repairing it. A socket wrench is heard in the background.
Grif: And then I thought, you know, we could sneak around the side while they were hiding behind the rock, but uh, well that's when the tank showed up and.. shit just started blowin' up. I don't know. (sighs)
Sarge: (exhales in exasperation) Grif, do you have any godly idea how much this piece of equipment costs?
Grif: I-I don't know, uh, like, uh, what.. ten, ten.. twenty, twenty-five bucks, maybe? Uh, you-you're gonna kill me now, aren't you?
Sarge: Tell you what, Grif, I'm a fair man. I'll give you a ten-second head start here before I let Lopez do anything he wants to ya.
Lopez stops working and stands up to face Grif.
Grif: Guys, I just want you to know, I'm really, really sorry here, and-
Lopez puts down his tool for a gun.
Sarge: Five Mississippi. Six Mississippi.
Grif: (backing away) Okay, uh, I guess I better get going then. I really don't want to di- Ow! Hey Sarge! I found a Blue!
Lopez and Sarge look at each other.
Sarge: Ok I know this could be a trick Lopez, but a lone Blue is just too good of an opportuninty to pass up! Even if it's to kill Grif, which we can still do.
Lopez and Sarge both head over to where Grif is at the front of the base.
Sarge: Ok Grif, where's this fake Blu- Aunt Jemima's bussom! There's an actual Blue here!
Grif: See! I wasn't lying! What do we do with him Sarge? He looks really beat up.
Daniel's armor appears completely destroyed, the visor is completely gone to where is face is visible but it too is so damaged nobody can make out any physical appearance through the blood.
Sarge: Well we keep him alive numbskull! He's bound to have useful information on the Blues! Simmons, get down here on the pronto! Triple-time!
Simmons comes around the side of the base.
Simmons: Yes sir? What's goin- Holy shit! I've never seen so much blood in my life.
Sarge: Simmons! Get this Blue some medical attention ASAP!
Simmons: But sir, shouldn't we just kill him so that the Blue's are down a man?
Sarge: Negative Simmons, this Blue might have valuable information! If he dies we'll never get to know their plans. Keeping him alive is the best course of action and you're gonna be the one to keep him alive.
Simmons: Of course sir, you're truly a brilliant man.
Grif: When aren't you a kissass?
Simmons: Shut up, you got the Jeep destroyed.
Sarge: Oh right, I nearly forgot about that.
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Red Vs. Blue: Agent Utah
FanfictionUtah or Daniel, was once a Freelancer, an underdog at that. When he discovered what the Director was doing, he banded together with Tex and York in the mission where they ultimately failed. Now in hiding, he finds himself surrounded by idiots and he...
