One Summer

TWENTY

I used to wonder why, why they could never be happy
I used to close my eyes and pray for a whole 'nother family
Where everything was fine, one that felt like mine

NORA

I am wide awake my mind is racing with thoughts about my parents. My father specifically. Him and Iven are so different. Was he like this in the beginning so sweet and trusting and then he flipped a switch...

I don't want to overthink anything but I don't want to get hurt I don't want to continue the cycle my parents have created for me

I want better than what they had I know I can do better. Iven has changed my view my on some men. He has my full trust I know he is better than my father. I felt more love from Iven than I had from my father in the thirteen years I lived with the man 

My mind shifts to the so called family I have back 'home' if I can even call it one it doesn't feel like home. I feel homesick when I am in it but I think I have found my home within Iven 

Don't even get me started on Jules. She tries...way to hard to make me like her. When she came and picked up my father from our home all those years ago I already decided I hated her and the hatred run deep 

No matter what she do or how nice she tries to act I don't think I'll ever be able to like her. She needs to drop the 'nice' act. Nice women don't homewreck relationships and then have the audacity to come pick him up from the house he his wife and their thirteen year old daughter share together

I hate her but the hatred I have for the man I call father is worse. I hate him. There is always a small part of me that feels guilty about the way I feel about him because he wasn't always like this. I use to love and admire everything he does 

He was my hero he was what I wanted to be like when I grew up...If only I knew how much of a horrible person he was. 

I don't know why my mother stayed with him. I don't know how she stayed through the disrespect, humiliation and verbal abuse

I really wished my mother loved herself enough to get up and leave I wanted her to leave him not the other way around he made my mother out to be crazy

I remember when I was ten years old my birthday to be exact I was so happy I finally turned double digits I was so excited for my birthday party and to spend the day with friends and family 

Its been hours since my birthday party has begun and my father still wasn't home to celebrate with me I mean we lived in the same house and he had no work that day it was a Sunday 

The time for people to sing happy birthday and cake cutting was approaching and I was getting anxious so I made my way to the bathroom on the second floor 

It was unlocked so I assumed no one was inside. I pushed the door open and stepped in just for me to be pushed out by my father and a women I had never met before 

I was left confused I mean why were they in the bathroom together and why was I pushed out I knocked and knocked until they got annoyed and got out "What were you doing" I looked up to my father and innocently asked "Nothing" he said with a smile on his face