Destined, Destination

PROLOGUE

LIBRA

"Throughout my life, I've carried the guilt of simply living. How can I bring myself to celebrate my birthday when it also marks the anniversary of my mother's passing?"

I stared at the rays of stars in the vast sky. The sky is amazing, peaceful, and only the twinkling stars give it light. When the moon is not there, the stars twinkle even more like this. It was said in the book I read that the moon is like the mother of the stars, but in order for them to learn, the moon has to leave them so that they can have their own light.

I can't help but think of my mother.

I'm alive because she's gone. I'm alive because my parents choose me to live.

I was in that thought when paps sat next to me, I turned to him but his eyes were already in the sky. 

"Sorry, Paps, you lost your wife because I lived, you lost your one great love because you chose me to live." At this time my tears wanted to fall, I tried to hold them back and looked away.

"Are you happy today, sweetie?" I want to cry even more at his question. How was he able to celebrate my birthday even though it was also the anniversary of his wife's death?

"Of course, Paps. Why not," I forced my voice to be clear even though my tears fell like rain, I quickly wiped them away.

"Do you know the last thing he said to me?" I turned towards him when I heard what he said. 

"Take her anywhere, let her explore the good things in the world and be with her to explain why there are bad things exist." 

I couldn't stop crying at what I heard."She loves you, actually we love you more than anything else, sweetie." He hugged me and let me cry on his shoulder.

"Paps, how-- how do you manage to have fun on this day when it's also mam's death anniversary?" I finally had the courage to ask him this. I let go of his embrace and looked at him, even though my eyes were blurry from tears.

Paps wiped away my tears. "I visit your mom every day,"  he said, "because for me, every day is her death anniversary. But I don't feel sorrow or burdened, because she's always here." He pointed to his chest. "And she's always right there?" He gestured toward the brightest star.

I looked up to see what he was talking about, even though my vision was blurry, I could clearly see the brightest and most beautiful star in the sky. "I LOVE YOU MAMA," I closed my eyes at the thought.

"Paps, why did you choose me when you could have children again if you chose mams?" my eyes are still focused on the stars.

"Your mom's life is over, sweetie, you haven't even arrived yet." I turned to him in shock, but his eyes were still fixed on the star. "But you came into our lives unexpectedly. Instead of affecting his condition, you are the reason why I see joy in his eyes that I have never seen before." He stopped talking and looked into my eyes.

I saw how his eyes were red, and tears were about to fall. "Do you know that a certain person became two years because of your arrival? You extended her life by a year, so there's no need to feel guilty, sweetheart. You made her the happiest mother when you live." he added tearfully.