One Last Thread (DSMP)

A Little Trouble

Tubbo was sat on the edge of his bed with the blade in his left hand and his right arm exposed, he was close to doing it, very close; he was somehow even more numb than the day before and he didn't know what do to do avoid it, he would normally go to Ranboo but that wasn't an option anymore. *Do it* his thought was as he slowly brought the blade to his right arm before pressing down, it took him a second before he sliced, hissing as he did so. He zoned out as he did another, making that one deeper before making a new one. Anger started to overwhelm him as his teeth gritted and he did another, then another, making every single one he did deeper before moving onto another. He soon had tears running down his face as he heavy breathed through his gritted teeth, hissing and groaning from the pain on every single one he did. He closed his eyes as he continued, not looking where he cut anymore as he started becoming light headed.

Seconds later, he felt a hand on his own as he quickly opened his eyes and saw Phil looking at him with great concern in his eyes. He froze, almost dropping the blade as he looked down at his arm, blood dripped onto the bedsheets as his whole arm became red. "Tubbo stop, stop, you're ok you're alright" Phil said as he sat down next to Tubbo before holding his incredibly numb and cold hand, "I'm right here, I'm here, you're ok now, you're ok, give me the blade for a second". Tubbo tried to move but he couldn't as he felt Phil's warm hand slowly stroked the back of his almost lifeless hand with his thumb. He watched as Phil took the blooded blade from him before putting it behind himself, "it's ok Tubbo, Phil is right here ok? I've got you mate I've got you" Phil calmly said, "we're gonna go to the bathroom together so I can help heal your arm ok?". Tubbo hesitated before nodding, watching as Phil stood up. He slowly stood up next to him before following him to the bathroom, he sat down on the
toilet lid before feeling Phil gently hold his numbed hand and start to very carefully clean it with a damp piece of tissue.

"What made you do this?" he asked in a calm yet friendly voice. Tubbo shrugged as his lip quivered from holding in tears, he didn't want to cry in front of Phil even though he was already looking at the worst side of him. "You can tell me if you need to it's ok, you're alright now, you're safe ok?" Phil reassured him. Tubbo nodded with a sniffle, hissing as Phil went over to deep cuts to which he apologised for hurting him. Tubbo thought about speaking before saying, "I-I guess I just felt numb and stressed, I-I don't know". Phil nodded, listening in case there was anything more before saying, "that's completely ok, the next time you feel like this you can come to me and we can distract you from these feelings ok? I can help you". Tubbo nodded, his voice cracked as he whispered a quiet "thank you". "It's no problem at all mate, you can talk to me if you need to ok? Don't suffer by yourself, get someone" Phil advised him as Tubbo continued to nod. "Is M-Michael still with Techno? Is-Is he ok?" he asked through a stutter. "I checked on them both before knocking on your door, they're both fine, Techno was reading Michael a story" Phil answered. "Ok, t-thank you".

"No problem" Phil smiled, wiping his arm until blood stopped pouring, he then got a tiny bit of a health potion before dabbing some onto Tubbo's arm with a different piece of tissue. "This hurts even more" Tubbo sniffled, flinching every now and then. "It will, it's a potion specifically made for healing something". Phil soon wrapped a bandage around Tubbo's arm before securing it. "Thanks" Tubbo said, a sniffle following. "No problem, are you ok?" Phil asked as a numb expression remained on Tubbo's face. "I'll be fine" he sighed, swallowing tears. Phil watched as Tubbo stood up and was about to walk right past him before he placed a hand on his shoulder. "Hm?" Tubbo hummed in response, not looking at him. "Lets go talk downstairs, I wanna make sure you're ok" Phil calmly said, hearing Tubbo sigh, "I have nothing to talk about, I'm fine". "Tubbo you just relapsed, someone who has just relapsed isn't going to be fine for a bit, therefore meaning they might need help or just some simple comfort. What I'm saying is don't deal with these thoughts and emotions by yourself, if you need help then get it, it may be hard yes but all you need to do is come up to me or Techno or whoever else you trust and just tell them how you feel, tell them what's going on" Phil explained as he watched tears start to break through Tubbo's eyes whilst he desperately tried to blink them away but it wasn't working.