Dimensions Apart (Wangxian)

Knowing You

Lan Zhan felt devastated. How could he be so blissfully unaware of the miseries his love was suffering throughout his life while still smiling and helping others with an open heart without asking or expecting anything in return?!

How could he call himself his Wei Ying's lover and soulmate when he literally knew nothing about him and his pain?!

How could he not see the tears and pain hidden behind those smiles and jokes?!

How could he not understand nor tried to know the reason when his Wei Ying stopped using his precious sword, Suibian and started practising demonic arts right after being missing for those three months?! It was all so obvious then why did he not notice it even once?!

His Wei Ying had transferred his golden core? To whom and WHY??!!! Why would anyone throw their life into hell as if it valued nothing? Why would his Wei Ying, who was one of the best cultivators of their time would give away his golden core to someone else when it could've helped him to attain immortality?

His Wei Ying was thrown into the Burial Mounds? The only place in this whole world from where nobody has ever returned either dead or alive. He had actually lost his Wei Ying then and he just didn't know!!!

Was he so blinded by his own feelings and emotions that he never saw what his Wei Ying was going through?!

Lan Zhan felt sick of himself. So sick that he wanted to kill himself right at that moment for never being able to understand his lover, never speaking up and standing by his Wei Ying's side. Now more than ever, he regretted and loathed himself for being silent and not standing by his Wei Ying's side when he was saving the Wens, alone. When those people framed his Wei Ying for killing Jin Zixuan. When the whole cultivation world was planning and plotting to kill his Wei Ying and all his loved ones. When Wei Ying's brother and his own brother were among those who went to kill him in the First Seige.

Lan Zhan was feeling so ashamed of his silence all those years ago that he was willing to punish himself with those thirty-three whiplashes of discipline whip, once again, just to be able to feel some of the pain his Wei Ying suffered throughout his life.

The only thing, the only reason that was stopping him from doing anything like that was HIS WEI YING.

The way his Wei Ying was trembling while clutching him so tightly, Lan Zhan knew exactly how much his Wei Ying was affected by everything that he had suffered. He knew that if anything happened to him, his Wei Ying would blame himself for it. It was already a miracle that he was sane after going through all those hardships of life but just one more of it and Lan Zhan was sure he'll lose his Wei Ying and this time, forever. 

So now, he'll protect his Wei Ying from each and everything that could hurt him, come what may. He'll become his shield and his sword..his home and everything his Wei Ying would want him to be. His Wei Ying needed him. Needed his love, care, trust and belief and Lan Zhan would be damned if he let his Wei Ying down this time.

Lan Zhan kept on rubbing soothing circles on his Wei Ying's back with one hand while gently patting him with the other to calm him down. It was only when Sizhui knocked at the door as he had brought Wei Ying's lunch as per their regular routine did Wei Ying loosened his hold on Lan Zhan, looking embarrassed about his sudden emotional meltdown.

And now again, Lan Zhan was panicking. In all their activities from morning until now, Lan Zhan had done nothing that he should have done. Neither did he play Clarity nor gave his Wei Ying the regular massage nor did he feed him breakfast.

He was panicking so much that even Wei Ying felt worried now and immediately kissed him, bringing Lan Zhan back to his senses. Once normal, Lan Zhan made his way towards the door, opened it slightly, greeted his son and came back carrying a tray, having a bowl full of liquid food for Wei Ying along with his own meal, in his hand.