𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗧𝗟𝗘 𝗗𝗔𝗥𝗞 𝗔𝗚𝗘

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘-𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 - IT'S OKAY TO LIVE

Since I was young I was never incredibly fierce or held a strong personality or stood up against something I didn't believe was right, I simply went with how things were. I didn't mind, I wouldn't be living for long so there's no point on wasting my time with grudges or hate. That of course, left some anger within me — like when I was cut in line or left behind — it didn't exactly please me.

That exasperation tended to break out and work against me whenever I lost the ability to contain it. And once again, that would leave me regretting and unhappy.

I suppose I never was normal. I hadn't been very talkative and stuck around only a certain group of individuals who they themselves didn't know me well. I knew Etsuko for a long time but I'm not even sure she knew my parents were divorced, same for Yuki. I was just never really open to them of my own life even if I had known them for most of my years in school.

It was scary to think that the people I considered my closest friends had barely known my last name belonged to my mother and not my father. It makes me question how close we really were and if this was bound to happen despite the first run-in with a curse.

Would she even understand if I explained it to her? I doubt it...

I guess no one can defy fate, and whatever it says goes and you're subject to follow after, resistance wouldn't you any good. In actuality it's nothing anyone can prevent and obviously fighting against would prove to be futile, so the path of acceptance is the only given option... but even that is hard enough. I wasn't very compliant on changing my entire lifestyle to live under my own protection and force, I got comfortable with my old life and the inevitable inconsistence of this one made my mind spiral with concerns.

I hate to say that I'm not over the change, because I really want to be... it's just hard to forget what things were like when it was easy.

"There was a point to the blindfold." Out of the blow a voice brought me to my senses I hadn't really been paying attention to my surroundings which proved to be much more fatal on missions than class. "...hm?" Humming to the random comment I sat up straighter to give my attention, as I was always taught, and my eyes settled on the side profile of the boy beside me.

Yuuta stared ahead but kept conversation, studying the notes we were meant to mentally take into account rather than conversing. Nanami tended to make an appearance when Gojo was out, and he was much more strict.

"At least, I think so..." He trailed off leaning his face against the palm of his hand, dark hair falling around his palm like silk draping across furniture. He watched with navy hues, surveying what our current substitute had written down before taking a seat at the desk. He looked comfortable in this environment, he seemed serene and confident without having to mention his abilities.

What were his abilities? I've seen him in action very little... the missions we've been on together tend to end very quickly with him simply drawing his sword. I know the weapon is compacted with cursed energy so maybe he's a simple swordsmen. He himself captures my interest... what's his story? What does he see in me?

"It's like trying to tell you that you don't need to be the most confident person in the world to succeed." He continued unbothered by the entranced expression on my face as I listened to his quiet words carrying across the air to my ears like a tranquil melody. "You have your doubts, but without them berating you, you're... well, you." I looked away briefly looking at the slight scratches and dents in the wooden table all evident of use of the years.

"A great person with power mentally and physically whether you believe it or not." He missed the heat on my face and the tint on the edge of my ears. I almost missed it to if it weren't for the racing of my heart, it's tempo reminding me of how much people actually cared for me. "You leave quite an affect on people."

There was a silence that cut between us both, a moment where we both just gazed forwards both in thought. I broke the silence, looking down with a half-small, "I don't know why you're so nice to me..." A mere mumble of disheartened words pulled his attention to me once more. "You know I don't deserve all that praise, right? I'm not perfect." I let out a light laugh, the unenthusiastic undertone left the chuckle without happiness, it was faux cheeriness.

"Sometimes you remind of myself." He began with a simple shrug, his words catching my curiosity. I knew I wanted to know more about him, deep down I was very interested in him — but I felt to embarrassed to say anything. "It's an odd thing to say, I know. We came from different histories but we aren't that different." A small smile drew across his pale face, neatly curling the corners of his lips into a pleased expression. He was happy where he was, a demonstration of his contented spirit.

"I was scared too."

"Well from one coward to another," A small laugh fell from my lips, one reciprocated by his own humored melody. "How'd you get over the fear?" I asked quietly, a genuinely inquisitive question. "I didn't." He simply said, a blunt remark in his tone made my hopeful gaze falter. "I just slowly realized that I would never escape it if I kept focusing on it." I noticed his eyes cast downwards as if reminiscing on something he would rather avoid. But after a moment of his shattered confidence, he shook out of his dejection, breaking through with a positive determination.

"I started to believe it was okay to live... and that was enough for me." He stated without a falter in his tone, he was sure of what he was saying. "I found a reason — a motivation." I lifted my shoulders as if brightened by his own experience, admiring him from just his words. "And what was that?" I asked with interest, hoping and anticipating. "My friends."

And he looked to me with a light smile, one full of kindness and consideration. It made me feel just as happy, a new confidence that didn't belong to me but the trust I had in him. I felt a speed in my heart and even though I felt a heat creep up my spine I focused on the sincerity of the atmosphere, the strong earnestness of his character had made my emotions bubble and I couldn't help but smile too.

I've already found my reasons to live... I just never took the time to think about how much I'd miss them when I lost them. I was engulfed by denial and that blocked my view of trust and strength making every bit of faith hazy.

I had my friends. The people who've countlessly tried to protect me while I was too stubborn to notice.

"Are you two done?" Both of us flinched and turned our head forward, a displeased expression usually displayed on Nanami's face was much more disappointed. "Sorry." We murmured unanimously, a slight hint of worry in our shared embarrassment.

He makes it okay to live.