A Neverland Tale - HOOKED (eng)

Chapter 2.1 - Fiona

The polished floorboards gleamed. 

Expensive parquet, tiny pieces of wood close together, and always kept supple with expensive oils. Fiona's gaze bored into it, almost as if she could disappear between the tiny cracks in the floorboards if she stared at them long enough.

"What is there to see down there?" The voice was hard, not in the least marked by serious interest. Very slowly, Fiona raised her head, forcing herself to tear her gaze from the floor and... to her father. There was anger in the dull brown eyes, mixed with a desperation she had seen more and more on him in recent weeks. A bleak blob of bitterness that distorted his expression and robbed him of any spark of natural authority. Normally, her father had the air of a tall tree, imposing and commanding respect. Someone you wanted to please, had respect for, and.... yes, some aspiring businessmen might even wish they were like him.

Charles Blackfeuver had assertiveness, business acumen, and always a good sense of the right time to sell something. Only a few months ago, there had always been a shrewd expression in those brown eyes, playing with the observer and putting a pinch of light amusement even into stern words. Now... Fiona hardly recognized him. There was nothing left of the former warmth, the love for his family. But could she blame him? Wasn't it all someone else's fault? Fiona did not lower her eyes again but met his heated outburst with lips pressed tightly together. Looking at him, she knew so well what was missing... Armanda.

Armanda Blackfeuver, her mother, the woman of his life and hers. Not only had her feminine polish left the house, but so had her laughter, her calmness.... the antithesis of an ambitious, ambitious man. Fiona had often wondered over the past few months which she would have preferred. A dead mother, or one who had abandoned her? Too often she had been asked if Armanda had died... and too often she had to tell the story again and again. About her mother who had decided to leave the family. Ha, how beautiful was the paraphrase, how bitter the truth.

Another man had first made eyes at her mother until he finally wrapped her up in the conviction that he would give her a better life. More freedom, a higher status, life as a countess.... and it enticed her so much that Armanda could not resist. Fiona refused to admit that she would have preferred a mother who had died. One she could mourn and whose spirit would never leave her. Instead, her mother made her hate her, was no longer the heart and soul of the family, but tore a hole in her life. Fiona hated her so much.... and at the same time, she was still trying to understand. Why... why did you want another life so badly?

A bitter taste brushed her tongue, pushing nausea into Fiona's stomach because the longer Armanda had left her, the more she understood what it meant to hate his life. She lay awake for nights on end, exhausted and yet unable to sleep a wink. Something wouldn't let her sleep, wouldn't let her get the rest her mind needed. Then there was her father, who reminded her at every opportunity how much of a burden she was to him... with her mere presence. Fiona knew he no longer saw her as his daughter, his flesh and blood. A daughter without the wife to go with it.... what was that? No intact family, no model student, and no lady he could show off like a particularly beautiful teacup.

There was nothing enough about Fiona, nothing like the teachers and high ladies around her wanted. The parties to which she was invited bored the young lady even more than her lessons, a few balls, and evening events to which her father sometimes took her where all that still gave Fiona's life small spots of light. The rest felt... wrong. The more time passed, the more certain she became that she didn't have long before her father would assign the chaperone, Miss Gallway, to prepare Fiona. Now that she no longer had a mother to do this for her, the chaperone took over. Fiona dreaded the very idea. None of the ladies around her seemed to mind getting married, most of them were downright euphoric and envied Fiona her fiancé. Well... maybe because she had known him for more than a few weeks. And deep in her heart, she knew that it was great luck to be promised to someone she liked and who, at least so far, didn't put any restrictions on her. But getting married so soon seemed strange to her.