Mystery of Love

Please Forgive My Heart

(title was appropriately taken from the Bobby Womack song, which is also one of Miles' favourite songs of all time. hugely recommend you to listen to it, and pay attention to the lyrics for the full experience of this chapter!

A/N: well, it's been a minute. i had the continuation of the story on my computer, but unfortunately something happened to the file, and it all got deleted. after that, i lost all inspiration, but now i've finally decided to continue, and i like this even more than what i had written before. enjoy!:) <3)

Alex's sleep was rudely interrupted by the sun creeping into the room. He tried stirring a bit, but as he slightly moved his head, he realised that his cheek was firmly pressed to a body, his own skin sticking to it as a result from sleeping in a warm place. Before he could open his eyes, Miles' scent found its way to Alex's nose, reminding him of previous night's events. Alex found that his fingers were splayed close to Miles' waist and a stubbly chin was pressed against his hair, his head being rested right under the man's collarbone.

He didn't know whether Miles was asleep or awake – his breathing was regular, slow, his body making no movement -, but what caught Alex's attention the most was the heartbeat that he could hear from the position they were in, and it was enough to bring the smallest tear to his eye.

Their limbs were entangled and Alex's manhood lay against Miles' thigh. They went to sleep naked, of course. They were exhausted, emotional and weren't quite ready to talk about anything yet. But mostly, they were scared to.

One of Miles' arms was holding him gently, the other one rested next to his body. His hand looked as empty as ever, and Alex had to resist the urge to hold it in his own.

Miles started stirring, and Alex could hear him take a deeper breath through his nose. His lonely hand closed around nothing before he let his fingers relax again.

Seconds, maybe minutes passed before anything happened. Alex wanted to say something desperately, as he was too worried that Miles would notice that he's awake and would wonder why he's staying quiet. Miles was, of course, thinking the same. Alex took the initiative and whispered:

'Mi?' He sounded about 17, even though his voice was raspy from not having talked in about 8 hours.

Miles didn't say anything. Instead, he turned his head so it didn't make any contact with Alex's head or hair anymore.

Alex gulped. He felt his heart sink, literally, and it was one of the worst things he's ever experienced. Was Miles angry? Is he wishing that none of yesterday would've happened? Is he... disgusted, disappointed, does he want to get away? Alex's mind was spiralling.

Slowly, he released himself from Miles' hold and sat up, just a little, by supporting his weight with one of his arms. He could only look at Miles' torso and neck, and his eyes danced over the love bites and bite marks that he left on his skin, around his throat.

Miles' head turned so he was looking straight ahead, and Alex decided to look up to his face.

They locked eyes, and both their breaths came to a stop for a second or so.

Miles inspected the hickeys scattered around Alex's neck, collarbone, chest, and he noticed the marks his fingers and nails left on his waist. He didn't have too much time to look though, because a single tear came falling down from Alex's eye, landing right on his hand. He looked up into the eyes of the man he loved the most, despite all.

Alex wiped his cheek with the back of his hand.

'I want to tell you everything. Can I?'

Such a simple question, asked so gently. It was something Miles always longed for, always wished Alex would ask, so why was he so reluctant in saying yes?