WHAT ABOUT IT?, jesse lee soffer

♪ twenty - eight

I wrote this chapter a while ago, maybe during the first week of this book and I was going through so much so this chapter particularly means alot to me. 

xoxo, 

Mar. 

"Arielle, I know you're in there." Jesse had spoken in a low voice, his head resting on her bedroom's door. He pressed his eyes closer to the door; hoping he could understand what's happening.

He was supposed to meet with Arielle for their weekly Thursday night dinner when she cancelled on them which was so unlike her. To worry him more, when he entered her apartment today; there was no sign of life present.

"Elle, come on." he had said, worry laced through his words. The sudden click sound startled him but he moved quickly, opening the door. His heart broke into million pieces when he saw the scene in front of him.

Arielle's room which would always be full of colorful light was now in pitch darkness as she would say, "I'm not young anymore, J. Being in this room, reminds me of my childhood. I love it." he remembered smiling at her as she finished what she called it her speech.

In the centre of the messy bed laid Arielle who had her face in her hands. Her usually combed hair was disheveled; as if she have been pulling them. He stood there, not knowing whether to walk up to her or not. "Elle, are you okay?" he had whispered but his voice still boomed around the room. Arielle shook her head and muttered, "It's stupid."

Jesse looked at the woman in front of him, almost not recognising her. The deep emotions in her voice was like a dagger to his heart. She sat there as if her body had given up. Not realising, he walked up to her; guiding himself by the moonlight streaming in through the window as he sat down right beside her. She sat there not looking at him once; her face still buried in her palms.

"If it's stupid then it's not supposed to upset you." Jesse had replied in a thick voice. She looked up, her eyes stuck on the window in front of them but still not looking at him; her hands shaking slightly as she breathed heavily as if she hadn't, tears were going to fall. "I-I I'm sorry," she mumbled as she ran her fingers through her tangled hair, "I just feel so ugly and dirty." she had said, choking on her words as she looked at him. At the moment, Jesse felt as if his heart was ripped open. Her clear brown eyes were now glassy and full of tears as they kept falling down her cheeks; showing so much vulnerability.

"Why? What's wrong?" he asked quietly cause he knew her and he knew that, Arielle was anything but insecure. She walked into a room, full with confidence; never showing any sign of weakness.

Without a word, Arielle walked up to her desk, crouching to pick something up. When she got closer, he then noticed that it was a phone, her phone. She shoved the phone into his hands, showing him a tweet.

maceisace: Can we talk about how big of a whore Arielle is?? #ariellewood #fuckarielle

He scrolled the screen down to see a thousand more tweets attacking Arielle because people think they're dating. 

hannahbanana: that bitch actually thinks she's pretty?? the audacity of her to touch Jesse. #fuckarielle

mynameis: eat shit, arielle wood. #fuckarielle

What shook him was that the hashtag was trending with 13, 328 tweets. He glanced at her to see a set of new tears running down her face. He placed the phone on her table and turned her body towards him and spoke, "Arielle, that's bullshit. You're the most prettiest person in this shitty place. Hell, who cares if no one can see it? What matters is that you can see it! You are not defined by what people say. Sure you have flaws, I do. Everyone does but what makes you different from us is that you have a heart. A heart of gold. You care. That's what matters, elle. Nothing else. " his hands gently grabbing hers as she inhaled a large breath of air; taking his words in. 

She let out a harsh laugh, "I know. I know but it's so fucking stupid that after all these years they still manage to hurt me and please stop looking at me like that." she spoke the last part in a soft tone.  Jesse had looked at her like she was the most perfect thing ever, she was. Even with her makeup ruined, her eyes puffy and tears running down her face, she still managed to look as pretty as ever. He quickly picked up his hand, his thumb slowly removing the tears from face as she softly smiled at him.

 "Like what?" he questioned her; his gaze never leaving hers. "Like I'm golf. Like I'm your favorite obsession." Jesse let out a chuckle at her example only sobering down when he realized she was wrong. Golf used to be the love of his life but now he isn't so sure. He gave her a toothy grin and shrugged slightly. She knew from the moment she had met him, he was going to be her rock. The one thing that pulls her up when she falls. She blinked through her tears, letting them fall as she leaned closer to him; pulling him in a hug. Her face on his chest, her favorite place as he gently caressed her head; often running his fingers through her hair.

 She was after all, his favorite obsession.