Apples

Chapter 12

whoah, hey there wattpaders; aka my true loves!

I am simply dying right now with all of the things I have going on, I'm lucky I even have the time to glance at my phone!

anyways, I'm praying to get this book up to 2k, if that's not too much to ask for.

love you all,

-xoxo meg

_______________________

"So how are you doing?" I asked Carter softly.

He gives me a weak smile. "Better, thanks to you."

I sighed. "Well, that's good."

"Yeah . . ." Carter observed the cafeteria, trailing off. "Piper. It really means a lot to me from you help and support. I- I love you."

I let loose a smile. "Any person in my place would have done the same. But, I love you, too."

He seemed relieved at my response. The end of the lunch period was nearing, and students soon threw out leftover lunches and gathered their books.

"Come on, Carter." I gestured my head for him to move along, and we walked into the hallways to our next class, ignoring the depression consuming our emotions.

~*~

After our last class and climbing into the car, Carter sat, staring at his lap- Clearly something was bothering him.

"It's so painful sometimes, you know?" It was barely audible, lower than a whisper. Yet, I knew what he was talking about; for I have felt the pain of life's wrath many times before.

I nodded my head, yes. "Sometimes, the pain is too unbearable. Like, I want to hide under the covers until it all goes away. It's my unrealistic and hopeful dreaming, but I can't help but dread every time I am forced to come back to reality. I would tell you that it all gets better, but I'm not even in that 'better' place."

My words are depressing- Not spoken to give Carter hope because in the end it will only let him down; but to show him that he's not alone in this judgmental world.

He shook his head. "Why me?" He croaked. My heart melted and shattered for him. It truly isn't fair- it's unfair that Carter must suffer such things. No person should ever feel this way. Ever.

No person should have to fear coming home to the ire (A/N- yes, that's a real word. Look it up) of their father and death of their mother. No person should go to school with cuts and bruises decorating their body. No person should have to feel so empty alone. Life is an infamy.

I wrapped my arms tenderly around his body. "I'm so, so, so sorry, Carter. You don't deserve this."

Tears escaped from the corners of my eyes. Stupid teenage hormones. Screw you.

A half an hour and a bucket of tears cried later, we were finally back at my house.

When we both walked into the kitchen, I noticed an eggshell yellow post-it stuck to the counter.

Children,
Your father and I had an emergency meeting in Australia. We'll be there for four days. I left money in the special place. See you soon.
-Mom

Of course, here one day and gone another. It's not like I need them; in fact, it's actually easier without them here. My dad also has a big five week trip in one week- so I don't have to deal with him, soon, either.

I felt a warm hand wrap around my waist, and I turned around to see Carter.

"Something wrong?" He asked me.

"Of course not. Parents are gone." I smiled.

Carter chuckled. "Well, if that's what makes you happy . . . " He kidded.

I shrugged, simply. "It does."

He sighed. "What do you want to do?" He asked.

"Movie?" I suggested.

"Alright," He smiled. "Who's turn is it to pick, today?"

I unfortunately sighed. "Yours." I grumbled.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Carter grin. It shocks me how our outer moods can change so easily, although I know inside is much different.

Carter picked out Lord of the Rings, a classic boy movie that Carter would pick.

I rolled my eyes at him, but sat down on the couch, anyways.

As he turned on the T.V. and pressed play, Carter wrapped his arm around me.

I snuggled into him, but let my mind wander off.

What's today's date? I wondered. I mentally widened my eyes. One week. One. Before it's happening.

It's really about to happen. One week before I'm finally free. I can let myself go.

To Heaven or to Hell, it doesn't matter. I'm already in Hell. Maybe we have a few Angels around to make Hell seem not so much as Hell, but I am still conscious of the fact.

I pushed my body closer to Carter's, wishing, hoping, that it wouldn't leave him alone once I left. I could only imagine his heartbreak.

At least, for a short while, anyways. They will all get over it.

Carter smiled down at me, and I looked up and smiled at him like nothing was wrong. Which there wasn't, for me.

~*~

6,564 days, 7 hours, 53 minutes, and 49 seconds.

I've counted the days, hours, minutes, seconds that I have been on this earth. And oh, what a long time it has been.

On March 17th, 1997; I was cursed with the fate of being on this planet.

On September 14th, 2004, I did not enjoy life.

On January 2nd, 2006, I was diagnosed with Severe Depression.

On October 28th, 2009 I realised I was anorexic and suicidal.

On December 30th, 2010 I tried to kill myself.

On September 6th, 2014 I met Carter Hays.

And on March 17th, 2015 I will kill myself once and for all.

If I could mark this on a calendar I would, but I can't. How unfortunate, since calendars are made for your most important events yet I cannot mark them down.

They'll try to take me. Try and get me help. Doctors who try to erase my memories of killing myself; altering my personality for money.

Society has changed the way we act upon people. Not skinny enough you get anorexic, not pretty enough you cake on makeup, not good enough you get suicidal.

This is basically me. Unhappy, unpopular me.

There is nothing that can be done to help me. Im drowning in the middle of the ocean. And nobody will notice I'm gone.

____________

so that last part was a metaphor, Piper is not ACTUALLY drowning. I think this chapter was pretty long, wbu??

I'm almost done with school, so hopefully during the summer I can update more often.

see you guys soon.

hugs and kisses from my device to yours,

-xoxo meg