Apples

Chapter 1o

oh my goodness! chapter ten, here we come!

just so you know, I'm extremely tired, so mind my spelling errors. . . thanks;)

status:exhausted

btw play music link while reading.

WARNING: EXTREMELY SHORT CHAPTER AHEAD.

-xoxo meg

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I gasped at what I saw, dropping the heavy baseball bat on my poor toe.

I screamed out in pain, but what I saw was worse.

There is nothing like seeing your two close friends making out.

"Oh my god!" I squealed. They both scrambled away from each onto opposite sides of the couch, and sat awkwardly.

I sort of knew this would happen, though. I did stay in the bathroom for half an hour, leaving the two of them alone.

"Um . . ." Landon rubbed the nape of his neck awkwardly.

"No, no," I interrupted him. "I had a feeling this would happen. I don't want anything to be weird, so I'll just leave . . . "

"Piper . . . " Lania began to say, but I interrupted yet again.

"No, no. Really," I told them. "I have to see Carter anyways. See you guys Monday."

But I didn't, in fact, have to see Carter. His father would be very angry if he caught me there.

The two mumbled their goodbyes, and I left his house.

I rode home, listening to stupid Indies music- irrelevant to anyone's life.

Finally, I pulled up into the long driveway of my house.

Checking the time built into my car, it read 9:47 P.M.

I let out an exasperated sigh, and ran through the door to my room.

Buki ran into my room several minutes later, curling up next to me on my soft and warm bed.

I sighed in what seems like content, but I know I'm not.

How could I be? My life is a screwed up hell. I'm generally sure 'content' does not fall under the category of misery.

My boyfriend is abused- yet I can't tell the police because he'd beg me not to, and that if his father was in jail, he'd have no family. My parents would never give a bloody damn about me. I'm ugly, fat, alone, dumb, the list could, and will, go on forever.

Buki and I lay there for what seemed like hours. I closed my eyes and drifted of into a dreamless dream.

~*~

I peeled open my eyes, slowly, and I groaned drowsily. I couldn't feel Buki's small body near mine, compelling me to find that he had left while I was sleeping.

Checking the clock, it had read 11:43.

Though it was late, I decided to be the least bit productive, also wanting to get some of my feelings out onto paper. I strode over to the opposite side of my large room.

After settling down at my desk, I pulled out the leather diary from the top drawer, along with a ballpoint pen.

March 1, 2015
I envy Landon and Lania. Maybe I sound narcissistic for resenting a fresh blooming relationship, not thinking much of Carter; yet I can't help but desire a relationship not based on heartbreak of our guardians.

Is this the reason for our parallel? The reason for both of us speaking of love to each other? Though I know Carter cares for me deeply, I can't help but wish both our lives were carefree so we could be together jubilantly. Why must we be cursed with hell bent parents that would never treat us with safekeeping?

Yet, in sixteen days, I will be unimpeded from this loan-some and sickening world that only contains sources of melancholy and deprivation. How am I capable of walking in this world; when it is against me?

A tear drop escapes from one of my eyes, yet I continue writing.

If some sort of sign comes to show up, preventing me from stopping myself from doing these things from myself; would change my decision from causing execution upon myself? No. I don't think so. My parents may as well have physically abused me- for their words hurt as much as punches.

Throughout the years, I have felt guilt of my Aunt's death, rejection from my parents, the feeling of not being able to fit into society. I can't deal with this anymore. It hurts too much...

I don't know how I will be able to go on much longer- I try not to express my feelings often, yet I can't help but break down every once in a while. I just want to feel relevant to someone's life. To make a difference, to be missed. Do I only feel solo in this world? Or am I truly alone?
xx piper.

I set down the pen, and wiped away the salty tears from my soft cheeks with the back of my hand. I love Carter; I really do. But I can't help but desire the idea of leaving this horrific world. The feelings of dying are just to strong to be resisted from.

I feel like such a waste of space on Earth, feeling like I can't make a difference, and experiencing in such a helplessness feeling makes my heart twist and swell in the most inconvenient way.

So goodbye my lover.

So goodbye my home.

So goodbye my newfound friends.

So goodbye my Buki.

So goodbye my brother.

Say goodbye to me- because once I leave this world, I'm not coming back.

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I'm super excited for the next few chapters!

I want to tell you guys about it so bad, but I don't want to spoil the surprise!

But I do have a special something that I CAN tell you all about...

Drum roll please...

IM WRITING A NEW BOOK!!

its called 'Bittersweet' and I already wrote the first chapter, but I don't want to publish it yet. Be sure to check it out once I post it!

The release date for my new story is May 27th, although I may change it earlier or later depending on what I might have planned that day.

a big sorry to my beautiful readers, because I won't be posting on Wattpad for most of the month due to major testing, but I will be trying to get the majority of it in this break.

I love you all.
-xoxo meg