☆First Snow☆ | Joshua

15❄️ THE HIDDEN PAIN

Hayoon's POV

"Hello, Skylar!"

The voice I hated to listen, was there; behind me. It didn't take me a second to recognize the voice. That voice passed to freeze me for a moment. I was afraid to turn back. Today is my first time seeing her face for real even though I've seen her in a lot of magazines and now she's behind me. Every time I see her pictures or videos I got anxious and now how am I supposed to face her?

"Missed me, darling?"

That made me turn around but I hesitated to look at her.

"Oh!! My little Skylar, now you have grown a lot." She said while tucking the hair behind my ear that had fallen on my face. "Oh wait, wha- can you see me now? Finally.. I was sad you'll die without seeing my face." She whispered and that made my eyes widen. But it was loud enough to hear Areum.

"Miss, we have to go." As always Areum could understand my situation. She is not my best friend for no reason. But no one bothered at all.

"K-Kristin I-I have to go." Finally, I spoke for myself. But it was more than speaking for myself. As always I wanted to run away. Once I thought running away will be an answer for my traumatic past but it seems my past has tracked me.

"Baby, why are you leaving? Let's have dinner together." Kristen was to hold my hand but Areum was quite speed to hold my hand. I guess she couldn't watch me suffering from Kristen. I know she didn't know the story between me and Kristen but I know it doesn't matter to her.

"I'm sorry miss but this time we have to go."

"Let's meet soon darling!"

Areum dragged me away from her. We stopped at a solitary corridor and I let myself breathe. "It's alright Yoonie. Now it's you and me.. don't worry!" She hugged me and let me cry on her shoulder. But we couldn't stay like that for long because a familiar voice interrupted us.

"Areum ah~"

We broke the hug to see who was walking towards us. Areum looked at the way that voice came.

"Oh, Mingyu ssi!"

But my eyes locked up with the other member who was with Mingyu. I hid my face and wiped traces of tears. I didn't want to let them know that I was crying. Even though they didn't know what happened, I could see distress had written on their faces.

"You guys alright?" His eyes divert into me from Areum.

"Oh look finally Skylar and her knight in shining armor." Two boys looked at the way where that voice came but I knew the owner of the voice even not looking at her.

"Why is this witch not letting her be alone?" Areum murmured in a low voice but it was loud enough to hear us.

"Are you really that Kristen?" Joshua asked in disbelief.

"You remember me!" She said passing us to the main hall. Shua's eyes landed on me surprisingly. Seems that he couldn't recognize her at the event earlier.

"Hazz! Yo-"

"Don't call me that. You are not that Shua I used to be friends with. You don't know what I went through after you left me. Alone. At least y-you had to tell me instead of abandoning me. I-I trusted you with my whole soul. You, you were the one and only person I trusted. I loved you more than I loved myself. I felt secure when I was with you. You were the one who brought happiness to me and the same you destroyed my happiness. Do you know what happened because of you after leaving like that?? No! How do you?? I'm not mad at you for being an Idol here. But why, why did you come into my life? Just why? I was waiting for you to find me and whole these 8 years but you are in love with someone else here. What did you tell me the last day we met? 'Make me your princess', nonsense.. if I only knew that Shua is Seventeen Joshua I'd never come here. NEVER!!" I let out every word that I wanted to say. I didn't care if he was hurt or not. I was suffering for 8 years I can't handle this anymore. I saw Areum and Mingyu staring at me with eyes widened and Shua, I can say he was also surprised. This is my first of yelling at someone and it was the person I devoted once. He was the reason why I healed once and the same him was the reason why I'm hurt.

"Areum ah~ I'm sorry but I'm leaving. Please leave me alone." I said and for the last time, I looked at him. Now I can see he was hurt. But I don't care. His eyes filled with tears. At once I feel bad about myself but at least one time I should defend myself from being hurt again. "But Yoonie, you can't go alone." Said Areum. "Please!" I said looking at her with begging eyes and she had no excuse but to let me go alone and so. I felt relaxed in my heavy heart as I left the place.

Joshua's POV

"Hyung! What was I heard a few minutes ago?" It was Mingyu. I could say he was surprised and there was a strange tone mixed with his voice. Maybe it's his anger. But I didn't know anything she said. I didn't know that she had to face so many things back in the time. Yet, I don't know everything. It's a lie if I say I wasn't hurt. Every single word she said was like stabbing my heart with a sharp knife. Even though I wanted to talk back I couldn't speak. My words were powerless in front of her pain. I could feel her pain from those words so I decided to keep silent.

"Gyu ya~ it's not that everything she said was correct. But-" I was cut off. "But what hyung? Are you defending yourself? That's not you. That girl was suffering all these years alone and you were loving Haeseul for all these years. While she was waiting for you?" I was right. It's his anger. Who doesn't get angry when she said that? Even I'm angry with myself.

"Ya~ KIM MINGYU!! STOP RIGHT NOW." No need to look back cause I know it was Seungcheol. I looked at him. 'What the fvck!' All the members were behind him. "Stop what hyung? Didn't you hear what she said?" I don't know why he's mad cause Mingyu is not the type of someone who gets angry easily. But looking at other members I can say they are also mad at what happened. "It's not what you see Mingyu! Don't make a scene here." It was Jeonghan. Yet, I can't say anything to defend myself but looking at others helplessly and let Seungcheol and Jeonghan defend me. "Wait- WHAT? Did both of you had known this yet didn't take any action? And you kept it secret form us? Woah!! Unbelievable Hyung.." Mingyu clapped sarcastically. "Where's that brotherhood you guys tell every time? That family thing? Shouldn't we share and solve everything together?" Mingyu said that made the three of us look down.

"Hey! Cool down Mingyu ssi" Everyone looked back and that was the time we all realized that Areum was standing here all this time.

"I'm leaving first," Mingyu said and left. Areum was about to follow her but Seungcheol stopped her.

"Leave him alone Areum ssi. He'll alright."

"No hyung! Let her go." Everyone looked at Wonwoo and he was confident about what he said. Seungcheol was staring at him and signed her to follow him. Areum smiled at Seungcheol and left us. There's a huge tension between us. No one dares to speak. No one said a word on the way back to our apartments.

"What are you doing alone here?" I heard the door behind me was closed and Jeonghan's voice. I looked at him and again I diverted my eyes to the starry sky. After we reached our apartments I immediately came to the rooftop where I can release my every burden.

"It'll be alright Shua." It was Seungcheol. "Ya Jeonghan ah~ sit down. Let's help him to empty these cans." Seungcheol sat down and Jeonghan too. I took a sip of my beer can and let a sign-out.

"By the way what made Mingyu that much angry? No way!! Does he like Hayoon too?" When Jeonghan said that I frowned at him. But I actually didn't know why Mingyu behave like that. Whatever happens, I wil never lose her again. "What's with that face Joshuji? I was just kidding." He laughed that made me smile too.

"Time will give answers for our questions soon. Let's wait and see."

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Stay until the next snowfall