Choices (Book Four)

Chapter 2

Shawn

I glance around the living room of my new home. It's a small house I rented through the team. There are two small bedrooms, one bathroom, a combination kitchen and dining room, then a living room just big enough to fit my couch. But, it's all mine. No roommates. No distractions. It feels so good to have my own place. It dawned on me when I moved in three weeks ago that I've never lived on my own before and this new adventure admittedly excites me quite a bit. I feel a new sense of freedom as I look around each room, deciding where to place furniture and hang pictures on the walls. I may have Facetimed Bailey a few times for her opinion on the placement of a few things and she gladly bossed me around on what should go where. I have a pretty big backyard for the small size of the house which I admit was a big selling factor for me when I decided to go with this place from the four other options the team showed me.

Being the procrastinator that I am, I've been in this place three weeks and there's still five boxes stacked at the end of the hallway waiting to be unpacked. Lyla would not approve. I smile at the thought of her, her name no longer bringing forward emotions of frustration and heartbreak but now of contentment. It took majority of my summer break to process and work through what happened between us. No one ever wants to get broken up with, especially when you're planning to spend the rest of your life with said person. But I've settled on the fact that I truly believe our story isn't over and I'm hopeful that one day we will cross paths again.

The phrase 'when you know, you know' stands out in my mind. I do know with Lyla. I've always known with her. If she wants this time apart to explore her life without me then I will give it to her and wait, as long as it takes. It might sound cocky, but I know she will come back to me one day. Hell, who am I kidding, I'll probably go chasing after her again, I'm hopeless when it comes to that girl especially when she's in the same vicinity as me.

I know it's the first day of the new semester today and when I glance at the clock it's just past three o'clock. I'm not sure what Lyla's schedule is like this year, but I can picture her excited smile as she arrives early to each of her classes, over prepared with her backpack stuffed to the point of overflowing with pens, pencils, her laptop, snacks, water, and of course her thermos of coffee for her caffeine fix. I wonder if she still uses the one I got her last year, she never seemed to leave the house without it. I'm sure she's probably already stressing herself out too with all the assignment outlines she will get today that she will immediately need to input into her planner and arrange time blocks for her to work on them throughout the upcoming months. Some people might find her need to be super organized a little neurotic but to me it is completely adorable. And I will admit, some days a complete turn on.

This summer had been hard. I won't try to sugar coat it. Luckily, rehab on my knee took up majority of my time, making sure I did my stretches and exercises multiple times a day and keeping up with my cardio by going on runs and bike rides kept me busy. It was the first summer I had off from working construction since High School but I still felt like my days were busy and by the end of the day I was exhausted. I didn't spend much time hanging out with anyone. I met up with Danielle a handful of times to grab dinner and catch up. She got a job back in Telford and is living with her parents until she saves up enough to get her own place. Bailey also dragged me out of the house most weekends when she wasn't working. We would go for hikes or head down to the ball diamonds and hit some balls.

As each day passed, my anger and annoyance with how Lyla ended things with us slowly slipped away to somewhere inside of me, not forgotten but no longer ruling that fragile organ pumping away in my chest. I would think of her everyday, I still do. It's impossible for her not to pop into my mind at some point during the day. Especially on the days I received her emails. She sent three over the span of the summer. One in June, one in July, and one in August. Each one was short, about a paragraph long talking about her summer so far. I could tell she was trying to keep things light and extend some sort of opening for me to make the choice if I was ready to try and be friends with her or even just talk to her. I hadn't replied to any of them. Even though it nearly killed me not to.