Choices (Book Four)

Chapter 21

Lyla

I can't believe it's Spring Break. I feel like I just started classes and I only have about ten weeks until graduation. Megan is jetting off to Cuba tomorrow with a few of our friends, but I made a last minute decision to not tag long. My plans for the week I have kept quiet, not wanting anyone to convince me that it is a bad idea. Since Megan will be gone all week she gloriously agreed to leave me her truck to use for the week with the promise I top up the tank when I'm done with it. And I had to agree to drop her off and pick her up at the airport, which does mean I have to get up at the ungodly hour of four in the morning tomorrow to get her to the airport on time. But my plan will be set into motion as soon as I drop her off and wave farewell.

I will stop to get an extra large coffee for my drive, maybe even two. My five hour drive. I am going to Grand Rapids to see Shawn. It's been about eight weeks since I saw him at the hospital and eight weeks that we have both been silent. I've been tempted to call him a few times over the last two months, but I pushed the idea out of my head each time and focused on myself. I have managed to bring my grades up to where I know have a ninety three average, the best I've had all four years of college. I've also been able to concentrate on track and the last meet we had I placed first in both my events.

It feels good to be excelling at school, it's familiar to me. Not to mention I've been doing placements since the second semester started and have had some amazing opportunities to learn in the real world. It really is eye opening to see the patients getting treatment and help, majority are so kind and appreciative of any help I can provide. It makes my boy problems feel like the last thing I should be worried about. Thus, the past two months have flown by as I dove head first into placement and really allowed myself to indulge in a glimpse at my future of next year as a fully capable nurse.

It wasn't until Spring Break was approaching and I knew I had a free week that I started to think of Shawn again. I still haven't sorted out my feelings, but I knew I wanted to see him. I don't even really know what my plan is or what I'm going to say when I see him, I'm just trusting that my brain will come up with something when I'm standing in front of him. In the past I would have gone over and over what my plan was, what I was going to say, possible responses he might say back. I would overanalyze every detail so I felt prepared for the unexpected. The time I'm letting go of any attempt of control I think I might have in the situation and just trusting what I want which is to simply see him again.

I'm having a girls night in with Megan tonight, we want to call it an early night given our early wake up call. We agreed to make a pitcher of mocktails to save us from any hangovers come four o'clock. I picked out strawberry daiquiri mix and grabbed some fresh strawberries to blend in with it as well. Megan was in charge of snacks and as I glance at the counter she definitely didn't disappointment with her selections of chips and salsa, peanut M&Ms, and cherry blasters. Salty, sweet and sour. Megan is currently in her room finishing packing after I ordered her to.

That girl almost gave me an anxiety attack vicariously through her when I saw her empty suitcase earlier this afternoon. Megan had just giggled and shrugged her shoulders when I went straight into a panic mode and started listing off things she needs to remember to pack. She didn't seem all that bothered though and just tossed in a few bathing suits and sundresses before she demanded a break. I hit the button on the blender and the noise drowns out the music I have playing on my phone while I watch the red concoction blend together. A minute later I'm satisfied that is looks blended enough and I turn it off then pour two glasses full as Megan enters in the kitchen.

"Done," she announces as she smiles triumphantly.

I'm not convinced that she packed to my standards but I just smile back at her and hold up a glass for her to take which she does.