Choices (Book Four)

Chapter 36

Shawn

I wake up to the sight of Lyla sound asleep in my arms. The sound of her soft steady breaths fills my ears. The scent of her coconut shampoo has me pulling her softly closer into my arms. Her head is still resting on my chest and I smirk when I notice the small bit of drool she's left there. I feel like I have time travelled back to a time I ache for every night when I climb into bed by myself. A time when my love for this girl was the only thing I knew I didn't have to question in my life. It feels so good to hold her again.

Having to watch her this past week has been torture. She's been distraught with grief and there's nothing I can do or say to help her. I just tried to keep myself busy with anything I could take off her or her mom's plate to lighten the load. It was the bare minimum I could do and allowed me to feel somewhat useful. Every night we walked up the stairs together to head to bed it took every ounce of strength in my body to walk away from her and to the guest room. I barely slept during the night, I would just lay in bed staring at the ceiling worrying about her. She once again astounded me with her strength yesterday at the funeral. She had every right to fall apart yet she somehow kept it together.

I hate that I have to leave today, I wish I could stay here with her but I have to get back to Telford. Bailey and my dad had come up for the funeral yesterday so I chatted with them for a bit while they were here. They both had told me if I felt I needed to stay longer I could, but I knew I had to leave at some point and the longer I waited the harder it would be on the both of us. I haven't told Lyla the reason I need to rush back to Telford today is because I have a job interview tomorrow at an engineering firm. I haven't wanted to unload any of my life dilemmas on her, even over the summer while she was away I didn't mention that I was considering quitting hockey.

I don't like keeping things from her, but right now she just needs me to be here for her and gladly will be. I can feel her start to stir in my arms and I try to remain as still as possibly, going as far as holding my breath to not wake her, but it's no use as I feel her shift on the bed and she leans her head back from my chest and looks up at me.

"Morning," I whisper down softly as she squints sleepily up at me. "You can go back to sleep, it's still early," I tell her, hoping she takes the offer and I can hold her a bit longer.

"What time do you have to leave?" She asks quietly.

"In about two hours," I whisper back.

"Can we just lay here until then?"

"Of course."

She leans back in towards me and my arms instinctively tighten around her once again. At some point we both fall back asleep because when I wake up again it's an hour past when I needed to hit the road. As if on cue my phone rings and Lyla jolts on the bed against me and springs away from me.

"Sorry," I mumble as I hit ignore on the call, seeing it's Bailey probably calling because she thinks I'm on the road. I'll call her back in a bit when I'm driving.

"That's okay," she says softly as she relaxes again and sits beside me on her bed.

"I wish I could stay longer but I have to get going," I tell her.

"I get it, don't worry about it Shawn," she assures me.

She shuffles to the edge of the bed and stands and I follow her lead. I leave her in her bedroom as I head back to the guest room and quickly pack my bag. When I come back out and get downstairs, Lyla and her mom are already waiting in the front foyer for me. Both of them look so drained I almost drop my bag right here and tell them I'm staying for another week, but I know they would refuse and I know another week wouldn't solve their problems.

"Thanks so much again for everything Shawn," her mom says as she wraps me in a tight hug.

"No need to thank me."

"You make sure you visit again soon," she orders me with a small smile and I just nod my head as I catch Lyla blush slightly from the corner of my eye.

"I'll let you two say goodbye," she says as she leaves the room and heads towards the kitchen.

Lyla is shifting side to side on her feet nervously. She changed into some long flannel pyjama pants, but she's still wearing my t-shirt. The sight of her walking out of the bathroom in it last night had me do a double take. I couldn't help but smile as I watched her climb into bed next to me. Seeing her wearing it made a warmth spread throughout my chest. I step forward and pull her into my arms, we hold one another as the seconds pass, neither of us saying anything. When I finally pull away, I can't resist but to place a kiss on her forehead before we separate.

"Drive safe, text me when you get home," she says.

"I will," I promise. "Call me if you need anything Lyla," I all but beg her.

"You don't need to worry about me," she says softly.

"I know, but I want to," I admit.

She looks a bit surprised by my response as she stares up at me.

"I will talk to you soon," I tell her as I open the front door.

"Talk to you soon." she agrees.

I make my way to my car parked in the driveway and load my bag into the backseat. I open the driver's door and look back up at the house before I climb in. Lyla is standing on the front porch watching me. I can see the tear roll down her cheek from here and she quickly wipes it away. She raises a hand and waves to me and I know I need to get in the car now or I won't leave. I lift my hand to wave back before I slide into the driver's seat and shut my door. I back out onto the road and glimpse up at the house again to catch sight of the door closing behind Lyla.