One Random Message

Random messages

It was a long day. Surprisingly, this long day turns into a long three years. Being a sophomore in high school is enough to suck all of the energy out of somebody. I'm sitting on a long yellow school bus counting down every last minute until we get to the last stop. My house. I can't help but look in the round, dirty mirror at my bus driver. I swear that man gives me the creeps. If it wasn't for headphones there is no way I would survive riding on that bus. All of the sudden I felt a vibrate. It was a text from Harley, my best friend. Of course, she wanted me to do something with her this weekend. One thing about me is that I stay to myself. I sit at my house with my mom pretty much everyday. I feel so guilty for leaving my mothers side ever since my father passed away. Finally, home.

" Dessy, are you home?"
My mother calls out as soon as I sit on my bed. I get up and head into our sitting room. My mother is sitting on our recliner asking me how my day was.
" It was the same as any other day" I replied as if she knows how it is going to high school these days.
My father passed away on the same day that a tragic school shooting happened. Trauma took over me. Every time I heard a noise in the hallway I could feel my heart start racing. In every class room I would study the room and find my escape plan. Same goes for any public place I went to. Home was my safe place.

After my typical conversation with my mother I head back to my room. I put my shorts on and lay on my bed. Im scrolling through Facebook as if I even cared what people were up to. All of the sudden I hear a scratch at my door.
" Hi baby"
I say as I open my door and let my 7 year old dog in. I hear a vibrate come from my bed. I don't even rush to check because it's usually nothing I want to see. My anxiety forces me to check it anyways. It was a direct message from a boy from my school.
I've heard of this boy but I have never talked to him. He was older than me.
" Hey, what are you up to?" I read out loud in shock.
This boy was so cute. Tall, tan, handsome. The list could go on forever. I could feel myself blushing at the fact that he has noticed me before. I eagerly answer him back. We kept a conversation all night. It was as if I had known this boy forever. I felt like I could talk to him all night.
Finally, I went to sleep excited to go to school the next day.

" Honey, it's time to get up" said my mother from across the hall.
I had already been awake thanks to her annoying alarm that she had for 2 years. I put on the cutest outfit I had in my closet. I did my makeup as if I was going to a fashion show.
I got on that annoying bus, put in my headphones and day dreamed about how my day was going to go.
When I walk in the school I see him standing by the door talking to his friend.
" Hey, how did you sleep?" He said as I could feel my face turning red.
Eeek! He talked to me first!!
" The best I have slept in years" I replied.
He smiled and grabbed my hand. I couldn't believe it. I was holding hands with a boy that I know nothing about. It felt so right. My hand fit perfectly in his. People looked and whispered but I didn't mind.

The day went on. We didn't have any classes together considering he was a grade ahead of me. He found me at lunch and made sure I didn't eat alone.
"Hey, do you want to do something this weekend?" He asked.
Without any hesitation I said " Yes, let's do something!"
After lunch we went our separate ways again. He found me before I got back on the bus.
"Bye Dessy! Message me tonight!"
I was ecstatic!

I couldn't wait to get off of the bus. I couldn't wait for my mom to ask how my day went. I messaged him as soon as I got home. We planned our Saturday night together. I messaged my best friend.
" Can I come over tomorrow and borrow some clothes and makeup" I asked. " Well, what's the special occasion?" She replied.
I couldn't wait to tell her. I wasn't expecting her response.
" Sure Dessy, but watch out for the boy. He is no good. Just trust me on this one."
I was confused by her response but I couldn't help but ignore it.

I got ready at her house that Saturday. He came and picked me up from her house. It was so awkward riding in his old truck. I felt like I could talk more over the phone. Anything is easier behind a screen.
He took me to his house. I couldn't believe I was at a boys house! His best friend was there which made it a little less awkward. We pulled in to this long driveway. It was beautiful. Almost as if it was straight out of a movie. He stopped in the middle of the driveway. He parked his truck and got out. I was confused. I didn't know what to do. He came over and opened my door. I didn't ask questions but I got out.
" Come lay down with me" he said.
" In the grass?" I replied as I was confused.
He shook his head yes with the most gorgeous smile I had ever seen. How could I even say no? I go over and lay with him.
The grass was itchy but I was too excited to even notice it. He got on top of me and kissed me. It was the first time I had kissed a boy even though I was 17. It was so nice. I felt my body get warm and all of the anxiety had disappeared. He moved his lips from my lips to my neck.
His hand was slowly moving down my thighs. All of the sudden I felt a sensation on my neck.
" what is he doing" I thought to myself.
I let out a soft moan. I couldn't help it. It just slipped out like butter. He liked it. I could feel the sensation on my neck get stronger. He kept his hand on my thigh but I secretly wanted more. I was virgin but I was ready to give it all away that night. The sensation on my necked stopped but I felt soft breathing. I instantly got goosebumps.
" Im sorry, I couldn't help myself. Will your hair hide it?" He said to me in such a sweet tone.
" Will my hair hide what?" I replied.
" The hickey on your neck" he said in panic.
Oh no, my mom didn't know I was with a boy. She thought I was with Harley.
" How big is it? How do I make it go away" I said frantically.
I could tell he was getting nervous.
" Hey, don't freak out. I will figure something out" I said as I was freaking out myself.
I couldn't tell him that my mom didn't know I was there. He would never talk to me again.
We laid in the grass with my hand in his hand. We looked at the stars and talked about our lives. I enjoyed it but I couldn't help but think about what it would have been like to finally lose my virginity.
He would think I was a sex maniac so I just stared into his dreamy eyes.
" I better get back to Harley's" I whispered to him.
We walked back to his truck and he drove me back.

I only walked into Harley's house but felt like I was on cloud 9.
" What is that on your neck!" Harley says.
I ignore her question and ask how her night went. Of course, she was with all kinds of boys. The subject finally came up again.
" Dessy, you are going to have to hide that before I drive you back to your moms tomorrow."
She knew all of the tricks to try to get rid of one. Unfortunately, none of them worked.
" I will just tell her I was curling my hair and I burnt myself" I said knowing it wasn't believable.
" Yeah, you let me know how that one plays out" said Harley as she giggled.
I should have worried but I couldn't help but think about my night with Cody. He texted me in the middle of my day dream.
" I had a great time tonight. Let's hang out again soon!"
I was still in shock. I played it off as if I had done this before. I told him goodnight and went to sleep.

The next morning, Harley is driving me home in the 3rd car she's had in a 3 month time span. It was a silent car ride. As we got closer to my driveway she lets out a comment.
" I won't be responsible for what happens when your mother see's that."
I smirk and reply " Don't worry, I'll own up to it eventually."

My moms car is not in the driveway but there were men mowing our lawn. I really did not want to stay there. I called my mom
" Where are you?"
" I'm at the hair salon. Are you okay?" She said as I heard whispering in the background.
" Yes, can I come sit with you?"
Before I could even hang up the phone Harley asked where to take me. I was so thankful for her driving me places. She took me to my moms hair salon and dropped me off. As I walk in the door the first thing my mom noticed was the hickey.
" Dessy, please tell me that is not what I think it is on your neck" she said loudly.
" Mom, I burnt my neck on Harley's curling iron!" I said that knowing she wouldn't believe it.
" Oh my gosh, well find a way to hide it before people think my child runs wild!"
I couldn't believe it. Did she believe me? Or did she finally think I was old enough to be responsible. Either way, I couldn't believe I played it off.

We leave the salon and I get a text.
" Dessy, please call me when you have a chance!"
Oh no. It was from Cody. The anxiety has set in all over again.