6-Causal Habit

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I blow smoke out of my nose as I stand on the pier watching the waves swirl around and tall ones crash on the shore

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I blow smoke out of my nose as I stand on the pier watching the waves swirl around and tall ones crash on the shore. I never liked smoking when I was a kid, I always thought I was gross and ugly; now I use it as a way of isolation. I don't do it all the time, it's just a casual habit. 

I take a deep puff of my cigarette seeing the dark clouds hand over my head. It's been a couple of days since I went to the coffee shop with Zane and I can't get him out of my head. His eyes are what's torturing me. 

"When will you get it through your stupid fucking skull, no man will ever want you other than to fuck you." I replay that moment over and over in my head. I take another long puff of my cigarette letting the ashes fall onto the moist pier. 

My eyes water thinking about what he said. How much it hurt. 

My hand glides to my face where I feel multiple cuts and scratches across my cheek. The other side is no better. I have a big black, purple bruise on my right side. I feel my face and all the makeup that covers it. 

I'm never one to wear makeup unless it's simple eyeliner or mascara. I don't like the way it feels on my face. But it does the job. It hides what I don't want to show. 

After he did that to me he simply walked off as if nothing happened and continued watching football on the couch sipping his beer. I was on the floor trying my hardest not to sob or create noise knowing it would just make him even angrier.

I shake the memories out of my head discarding the cigarette in an ashtray on top of one of the trashcans. I shove my hands into my pockets walking to the bookstore. I make my way to the bookstore thinking about what book I should get. 

Even if I don't get a book or find what I'm looking for I still call it a success. I love going there, it helps calm me down. 

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I reach the bookstore hearing a little bell jingle as I open the door. I look around to find Albert helping a customer in one of the aisles. I smile as he looks so engrossed in finding a book. I walk to the side of the store where I find most of the good books. 

Romance. Why can't I just have a cheezy love story like the ones in movies and terribly written books? I look through the shelves as one catches my eye 'A Touch of Darkness' interesting. Just by the cover, I can tell it's beautifully written. I pop it in my bag ready to see if I can find any more books I like.

As I'm grabbing one off the shelf feel someone next to me. I turn to see who it is. Albert

"A customer needs help, and you know where the books are as good as me," With his slight Chinese accent. He takes my hand leading me up to the front. 

We reach the front where I see a tall man with a muscled back in a tight black shirt. 

Hubba Hubba

He turns around and I see Zane with a folded piece of paper. My breath hitches in my throat as I make eye contact with him. Oh shit, I just 'Hubba Hubbad' at Zane. I feel my cheeks heat up as he stands there. 

"Hi, Adelaide." "Hi, Zane," I look up at him. "What do you need help with?" I ask as Albert walks off to restock shelves. "I need the book," he says squinting at the paper "My Little Pony Friendship is Magic," he tells me in more of an asking tone. 

"Aren't you a little old to be reading My Little Pony?" I ask teasing him. "No It's not for me I have a niece and I've tried every bookstore in this city and I can't find it, her party is tomorrow-" I cut off his rambling. 

"I was kidding and we have a ton of those, come on," I say with a giggle. I bring him over to the kids' section and I start looking for it. 

"Found it," I hold up the book. "Thank you, seriously I owe you one," he places his hand over his heart in relief. 

I take him to the front so he can pay after I walk him out only to see it's raining no- pouring. Shit, I have to walk home in this. "You ok?" He asks with furrowed brows. "Yeah I'm fine," I say looking up at him with a smile. 

"You didn't take your car did you?" He asks with a deep chuckle. I let out a huff, "Yeah I walked here," I say looking at the rain splattering on the concrete. 

"I can take you home if you want?" He offers. "No it's fine I'm sure you have things to do-" "It's fine I can take you," He cuts me off. "I owe you one." He grabs my arm taking me out to his car. I try to protect my books from the rain by shielding them with my sweater. 

He walks us to a shiny black car. It was beautiful. He holds open the passenger door for me as I get in. I've never been in a car this nice before.  His car is all black and smells like him. Rain, forest, and coffee.

 Refreshing.

He walks over to his side opens his door and gets in. He turns to me as he buckles his seat belt. "Wait you have something on your face, let me get it," he says bringing his thumb to my right cheek. 

I see his brows furrow as he looks at my face and then down at his thumb with wet foundation and concealer. 

Shit.

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