Peaked -Bellamy Blake¹

12

The walk back to camp was pretty silent. Not a comforting one either; Bellamy and a few other boys carried Atoms body back, while Clarke, Finn, Wells, and I followed. No one spoke; we walked all knowing we'd lost someone else.

As we arrive at camp, people begin to notice our arrival. "Hey everyone they're back!" I hear someone yell from the distance.

Yeah we're back, with one less person. yay.

"We've got to get to Jasper" Clarke says as she walks with Finn. "I'll need boiled water to make the medicine." She says to Finn and I. I follow behind; I feel like I need to help any way I can. I kind of like that I'm not running the show in something. Usually I know everything about anything, and while I know more than everyone else about medicine, I'm actually really glad that Clarke knows more than me. I like being able to depend on someone; when your the smartest in the room all the time, you feel like you have to be the leader in everything. Like you have to be the one everyone depends on. It's nice to know I have someone I can depend on for once.

When we get to the front of the drop ship, Octavia frantically walks out. Oh no...Octavia. She had a thing with Atom I'm pretty sure. That's not going to be good for her...she shouldn't see this.

"About time! They were gonna kill Jasper!" Octavia says as she walks up to us. "Did you get the medicine?" She asks with urgency.

"Yeah, I..I got it. Come on, let's go talk" Clarke leads her twards the drop ship hoping to navigate her away from Atoms lifeless body. Octavia, being as stubborn as she is, notices the commotion with Atom and runs back towards Bellamy.

Me and Clarke follow, while Bellamy notices she sees what's happening. "Octavia just stay there, just say back." He pleas holding her back. She persists. "No stop!" she begs him as she released from his grip and goes towards Atom's body.

She kneels down, slowly lifting the jacket covering Atom's face. A series of gasps are heard around camp. Her face completely drops as she takes in what's in front of her. "Atom" is all she can get out, barely a whisper. As the tears begin to fall from her eyes, Bellamy tries to reason with her. "There's nothing I could do-" He begins to say but she cuts him off firmly. "Don't!" she yells as she puts her arm up, gesturing him to back off.

Octavia lets her arm fall back down as she looks back to Atom, more tears flowing from her eyes. Through her cries, she covers Atoms face back up with the jacket.

She begins to get up and storm off. Bellamy again tries to reason with her. "O O please" he begs as he tries to stop her in her tracks. Octavia barges right through him. "Don't." she demands again.

I feel like she shouldn't go off by herself right now, especially in the state she's in. I saw Bellamy in the woods, he was messed up seeing Atom like that. There was nothing he could do. "Octavia I'm sorry but there really was nothing he co-"

"Seriously Just stop." She says to me with wide angry eyes, even more demanding this time. She runs back to the drop ship. At least she didn't go off somewhere.

We all continue to stand here in defeat, while Murphy walks over towards Bellamy. "Lose anyone here?" he asks him. "None" Murphy assures him.

"Jasper?" Bellamy asks regarding his condition. "He's still breathing. Barely, I tried to take him out but your psycho little sister-" Before Murphy can continue his update on how he tried to kill Jasper, which by the way adds to the list of reasons why John Murphy is fucking insane, Bellamy forcefully grabs his shoulders and brings him in close by his collar. "My what? My what?" Bellamy screams in his face. "Your little sister." Murphy corrects himself as he shoves out of Bellamy's grip.

Murphy's even more an idiot than I thought if he thinks he can say that shit about Octavia. Anyone with eyes and a brain knows how protective Bellamy is over Octavia. Though, I will say seeing the fast shift from Bellamy in the caves and the woods to his assertion now, scares me a little. Not just because of him but because of what he now knows about me... I really hope I can keep trusting him, but I just still can't figure out his attitude. He just seems to get ticked off like clockwork, and I feel like he's a too unpredictable. But on the other hand, I don't think I should close him off as total bad news still. What he showed me last night and today is worth figuring him out some more, even if it bites me in the ass.

"That's right. My little sister. Got anything else you wanna say about her?" He asks him in a way that sort of threatens him at the same time. Murphy, who looks nervous but also tries cover it up with how angry he is that he just got told off by Bellamy in front of everyone reply's, "Nothing." He lets out firmly, his teeth slightly gritted. "Sorry" He speaks again. I think his fear of Bellamy came over his anger.

Bellamy looks around, then gestures to one of his guys. "Get him out of here." He demands, referring to Atom's body. He looks back to Murphy once more then backs away, leaving Murphy standing there alone. As Bellamy passes me, he locks eyes with mine. His hard face softens a little when he notices I'm here. I don't say anything because again, he's unpredictable. He swallows, then clenches his jaw as he walks away.

What was that?

———————————-

I made my way back to the drop ship to help Jasper, helping keep him alive is still my number one priority.

I'm here with Clarke, Octavia, Monty, and Finn. Clarke's looking over jaspers wounds, while I help him get down his medicine. Octavia, who still seems distraught over Atom is helping me. It seems like there's an awkward silence between us, I mean she did snap on me back there. I mean I can't really say anything considering I have a degree in having my emotions come out as anger. All I can do it try to comfort her and hope that she doesn't shut me down.

Jasper takes a few big gulps if the medicine, still halfway unconscious. I look up to Octavia, who's holding his head. "I am sorry about Atom. I really am. I'm tired of seeing people get hurt." I confess.

Her eyes shift from Jasper to meet mine. Her face reads her exhaustion. A combination of physical and emotional. "We'll I guess we're gonna have to get used to people dying." She lets out. "But not you, you hear me? You're not allowed to die." she says as she wipes some sweat off of Jaspers face.

———————————

Clarke had left about an hour ago, she said she needed to figure something's out. I really don't know what that means, but it didn't seem like she was up for sharing. I'm still sitting in the drop ship waiting for something to happen with Jasper. If he doesn't wake up, I don't know what I'm gonna do. I guess if he doesn't there really is nothing I can do.

Me, Finn, Octavia, and Monty are sitting in the drop ship all together. Monty takes a sip of some kind of liquor Clarke and Finn found earlier. He coughs for a second. "Smooth" he says sarcastically He passes the bottle to Octavia who reaches out and takes a swig. "Disgusting. I love it." She says as she passes the bottle my way.

I used to swear off ever drinking alcohol, you know because of what it did to my dad. I figure fuck it, everything's shit, and I'm stuck trying to survive on Earth. Alcohol is the the least of my concerns. Maybe it'll take the edge off.
I grab the bottle, and bring the rim to my lips. I take a big gulp, the bitter taste attacks my taste buds instantly. It's awful, but something about it makes me want more. I take another sip, then hand it over to Finn.

Finn, who looks a little surprised, hesitantly grabs the bottle. Before he can take a sip, he's intruded by a voice.

"Can I uh get a hit of that?" That came from Jasper. Finally, he's awake, and he didn't lose his humor. A successful day if you ask me.

"Jasper!" Monty yells as we all stand up to go over to him. "Why don't we start with the soft stuff." Finn says as he grabs some water and gives it to him. "Welcome back buddy."

Monty grabs Jaspers hand for comfort. "Was that a dream or did I get speared?" Jasper jokes. Clarke comes up the ladder at the perfect time. "You'll have a very impressive scar to prove it." she says as she makes her way over. "My savior!" Jasper says as he looks to Clarke with gratitude. "Thank you...for not dying. I don't think I could have taken that today" She says. "I'll try not to die tomorrow too if that's cool." He banters back through tired eyes.

Myself and Octavia bring comforting arms to Japers leg. He looks between the two of us, his smile lighting up. "Oh hello!" He says as he looks between us, before his energy runs out and he puts his head back for some rest.

While Im so thankful that Jasper made it, I can't help but dwell on what Octavia said to me earlier. about how we're going to have to get used to people dying. That's really hard to hear. I'm obviously not ignorant; we are going to lose people. I just wish there was somthing I could do about it. It feels so out of my control. With the grounders, and some of the crazy people with us, I don't know what's going to happen, I just have to hope for the best.

                         —————————-