May We Meet Again

The Promises You Keep

I can only hear so much of Raven's screams and right now its unbearable. I want so badly to help her but I know I can't. I hear Octavia yelling at Lincoln hoping to stop all this but I know that he has been branded as a traitor. I feel the strange feeling of someones presence, Finn. "Say something." I don't know why I expected him to answer I could have been some part of me that longed to hear his voice again. His eyes bore into me as if he is trying to look into my soul. He still says nothing but simply looks down towards his feet. Then I see it and it hits me, it was the cup. Finn has disappeared and I silently thank him running up to the surface. The grounders have surrounded Raven who is tied to a tree blood seeping through her shirt. I brush past Bellamy who grabs at my arm "what are you doing you're going to get yourself killed." I walk past the others demanding the bottle of liquor. I am going to prove that Raven didn't do this "stop!" Everyone gives me their attention and Lexa lets me pass. "One of your people tried to kill you Lexa not one of mine." She still looks unconvinced "I can prove it." I take the bottle of liquor and take a swig feeling it burn at my throat as it goes down. Lexa watches me closely obviously waiting for me to fall to the ground from the toxins but I don't. "explain."

"the poison wasn't in the bottle it was in the cup." Gustus says something to Lexa that I don't understand. "It was you." I turn to Bellamy "he tested the cup, he searched Raven."

"Gustus would never harm me."

"You weren't the target. The alliance was." I guess it makes sense, Lexa turns to Gustus and asks him to speak the truth. "This alliance would have cost you your life. I couldn't let that happen."

"This treachery will cost you yours."

You would think that someone who has seen so much suffering and death that they would get used to it by now. But i'm not, I can barley even stand to see Gustus suffer the pain of several knife wounds. I look over to Bellamy who seems to have the same expression of discomfort. I want to look away I can't stand watching this any longer. Then just like that its over Gustus slumps over as Lexa's sword pierces his heart. I don't stay to see what happens next i've seen enough pain and death for today. I wander away from camp as if putting my distance will erase all the events that have happened. "Clarke." I don't even bother to turn around cause I knew he would follow me here. "You okay." I have been holding in everything this whole day and I am sick of it. So I don't hold back "no. No i'm not okay." I can already feel the tears forming in my eyes. "I can't protect anyone. I killed someone I loved. I buried my best friend. I watched kids die right in front of me. I just saw someone get tortured and killed and these people expect me to lead them into battle and make these choices that I don't even want to make." I feel Bellamy's arms wrap around me pulling me in close. "Bellamy, I don't want to do this anymore." I dig my face into his shirt wrapping my arms around his torso. He speaks softly into my hair "I know, but it's going to be okay I promise." He and I both know that he can't promise that but I think he knows that just hearing it makes me feel better. Then it hits me like a gust of wind the realization of how much Bellamy means to me. The thought of losing him is unthinkable because he has been the one who has kept me sane. I remember that night the grounders attacked when I closed the dropship door leaving Finn and Bellamy behind not sure if they were going to be okay. Those days I spent alone in quarantine in Mount Weather searching for a way out. Maybe I didn't just have the motivation to go and just find Finn maybe I wanted desperately to find Bellamy too. When I saw that he was okay and hugged him for the first time I never wanted to let go; and when I told Bellamy that I couldn't lose him, maybe I did mean it. I don't even know how long I have been in Bellamy's embrace but I know for sure that I don't want to pull back anytime soon. "What are you thinking about?" He voice is muffled from my hair as he pulls me a bit closer which I don't object. I don't want to tell him my thoughts about him but some part tells me that he already knows. "everything." He loosens his grip on me pulling back slightly to look at me speaking softly "our brave princess." I roll my eyes with a laugh, He stares down at me which gives me a small flutter in my stomach. We stay like this for a while and I don't want it to end. I then pull him into another hug wrapping my arms around his neck resting my head on his shoulder. I then silently make a promise to him. I will do anything and everything to protect him and that is a promise I will keep now and forever.