Dear Me, I'm Pouring Back Into You

Self-Discovery

I always relied on my foolish heart

It plays more games than my mind does

I dreamt of oceans

But in reality, I was lost

I was sinking deep in hurt

Far from the peaceful shore

After grieving the pain of those who ticked, tacked, and toed with my emotions

Operating trivial pursuits

Daring to find the truth

Connecting the dots to discover

It's not fun to get in trouble

Concluded that my vulnerability was never the problem

My selection of who I allowed access to me

Was the main factor

Heartbreak left me paper thin

Trailing on tears of what could've been

Spilled pages of escaped thoughts invaded my sanity

Constantly searching for peace of mind

Scrolling through past memories

Crying as the tears continued to rain on my parade

I hated sleeping

I wanted to be an insomniac

Realizing that it's after midnight

Joy is coming in the morning

Then I woke up

A little less broken and defeated

I'm stronger

I'm celebrating the small victories

Appreciating my divinity

I'm not the same person that I once was

Then I remembered

Sometimes

What we least understand

Should be deeply understood

Closure is not something you receive from someone else

Closure is what you find within yourself

Cheating someone out of the truth

Is cheating on them

Time waits for no one

But time is the most precious resource of human condition

Life is life

There's hope inside of me

The sun will rise again

Trouble doesn't last always

I long to live right

Even if it costs me everything

Instead of relying on others

And expecting me from others

I only depend on God

I only need God

This time

I'm pouring back into me

Self-Discovery.