𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 ⇝ 𝑪. 𝑴𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒔

𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍. 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔

"So, how was the festival?" Dr. Jackson asked me as I sat across from her in her office.

"It was great. The band was amazing, and we had fun hanging out around the festival after."

She smiled, "That's great, Del."

"Yeah. It took some convincing for agent Hotchner to let me go, but he finally said yes if I had a bodyguard of sorts." I sighed with a smile.

"Oh, I'm sure that was fun." Dr. Jackson said sarcastically. "Do you feel good about going and hanging out with your friends?"

"Yeah, it was fun. I had a great weekend, but yesterday wasn't so great." I confessed.

"What happened yesterday?"

"Um... I had a panic attack at school. I, uh, I was walking to lunch with my friends when I saw him. Homewood, I saw him standing at the end of the hallway, staring at me and laughing. I started freaking out, but as soon as he was there, he was gone. It-it was just in my head."

"What happened next?" Dr. Jackson asked.

"My friends saw I was having a panic attack, and they took me to an empty classroom, and they helped me. One friend helped me calm down and get my breathing back to normal, Reggie." I continued.

"Reggie?"

"Yeah, he, um, he coached me on my breathing, and I was able to calm down," I said, picking at my nails.

Dr. Jackson nodded, "How did he know how to?"

"Um, he said that he used to get them when his parents were still together and were constantly fighting. And-and when he said that, I realized I didn't really know them. I-I mean, I call them my friends, but I don't know much about them and what they've been through. I knew Reggie's parents were divorced, but I didn't know about that." I stammered.

"How does that make you feel? Knowing that you don't know much about your friends."

"Like a terrible friend. I want to get to know them better, but if I do, they're gonna want to know more about me, but I can't tell them. I can't tell them the truth, no matter how much I want to. I can never tell them." I sighed deeply.

I looked down at my lap, playing with my fingers, "And that's not even the worse part. Because they helped me, we went about the rest of the day just talking and laughing, and it felt good. I felt like a normal teenager for once, but when I went to sleep last night, I had another nightmare."

"The same one you've told me about?"

"Yeah, but this time it was different. It-it wasn't just my friend's bodies from Texas. It was- it was also my new friends. Their bodies were there on the ground, dead. And it scared me so much." I said, trying not to cry.

"Did the nightmare end the same way? With Homewood shooting you?"

I shook my head, "No. No, I woke up. I woke up before he could shoot me."

"How did you wake yourself up?" She asked curiously.

"I stood my ground. I remember what you said about not living in fear anymore, and I told him to go away. I screamed it, and I woke up in bed."

She smiled, "That's good, Del. That's a step in the right direction of your healing from all this." She saw a look on my face, and her smile dropped.

"It doesn't seem like you're happy to hear this. How come?"

I shrug, "Because I don't know what to do."

"About what?"

"About my friends. I spent the whole night trying to decide what to do. If-if I should stay friends with them or not."

"Why? Why do you think you shouldn't be friends with them? Because you don't want them to deal with what you're going through." Dr. Jackson said.

"Yeah, if I stay friends with them, something bad could happen to them, and it's be all my fault for being their friend, but at the same time, I don't want to stop being friends with them because I like them. Their amazing friends and people. I really don't want to lose them, but if I chose one or the other options, I might lose them either way." I say, wiping my tears as they fall.

"Del, I understand why you would be scared to lose them, but you don't know what will happen in the future. You have no way of knowing if Homewood would go after them. All we know is that Homewood is after you and wants you, not your friends."

I shake my head, "But what if he uses one of them to get to me?"

"Maybe. But in the end, he wants you. We don't know why but we know that, don't we?" She asked.

"Yeah."

"Look, I know you want to protect your friends, but you can't control everything. And you don't know what will happen in the future. And it would help if you didn't dwell on it. You are a teenage girl with her whole life ahead of her. You still have much to learn about the world and what you want to do with it. But right now, you have to live. Don't just throw away your friends because of a little fear. That's how he wins. And you don't want him to win, don't you?"

I looked her in the eyes, "No."

"Then don't." She said. After a few moments of silence from the both of us, she spoke again, "Have you talked to anyone else about how you feel about what's happened?"

"No. It's not like I can talk to my friends."

"What about agent Hotchner? Have you talked to him, and does he know about your nightmares?" She asked.

"No. He knows I had one the first night I spent at his house, but I haven't told him what they're about."

She sighed, "Maybe you should tell him."

"How am I supposed to explain how I feel to a man that looks like he doesn't even know how to process his own emotions?"

Dr. Jackson laughs, "Del, you never know. He might know how you feel. Just talk to him. You might feel better once you do."

I sighed deeply and nodded.

"Also, can I say I'm proud of you?" She said, "You've come a long way with your feelings. You're actually feeling them."

I just smiled at her, and we laughed together.

A/N:
double update today.
this chapter was emotional and almost had me crying along side Del.
she doesn't want to lose her friends but she feels no matter what she does she might lose them anyway.
hope you enjoy.
bye:)))))))