Ari closed the door behind her. Her apartment usually smelled like Mac n cheese or pizza, or occasionally a nice candle. This time, she was met with a burnt scent.
"What the fuck?" She said confused, walking faster towards the kitchen.
Rounding the corner, she saw Jam, baggy hoodie and sweatpants, fanning away smoke with a pizza box. She turned around briefly and noticed Ari standing behind her, a very concerned look on her face.
"I... uh..." Jam started, before turning back around and pulling open the oven door. She moved to the side for Ari to see what was inside.
"I burnt the pizza cuz I fell asleep." Jam said.
A very black, very crusty looking pizza sat pathetically on a pan in the middle of the oven, smoke emanating from every side of it. Jam smiled. Ari did not.
After ordering Chinese (ari didn't really want pizza anyways), Jam turned on the latest episode from Oneyplays as she sat down on the couch. Ari was already demolishing her sesame chicken, but sat forward quickly when she saw what Jam was doing.
"No don't watch it while I'm here! You're gonna make fun of me!" She said, waving her hand.
Jam shook her head.
"I wanna see. I won't make fun of you, I promise."
She said, sounding pretty convincing. Ari almost believed her until she made a sussy face.
"Fine, fine. I just hope I'm funny." Ari said, relaxing back into her seat and returning to her food.
Jam smiled, and started the video.
Surprisingly, Ari thought that she was actually kinda funny. She mainly watched Jam's expressions throughout the video, hoping for approval of her jokes. And, also to her surprise, Jam actually laughed. It's rare for her to even laugh during regular oneyplays videos. The most they get out of her is a smile. So, this is a good sign.
40 minutes later, the video came to its end. Ari sat anxiously waiting for a word of affirmation from her best friend. Jam sat back in her seat, smiling. Ari was basically staring at her, also smiling from excitement. Finally, Jam turned to her.
"Very silly. I liked it."
Ari did a very violent fist pump. Big win for autismos everywhere.
"Did you really?" Ari asked sheepishly. Her ego instantly inflated. Jam rolled her eyes.
"Yes, genuinely. It was actually really funny. You guys got along really well!" Jam smiled endearingly at her friend, trying her best to sound encouraging.
Ari was still smiling too, feeling like a weight had been lifted. She was really worried most people wouldn't like her, or she wouldn't be funny. So getting the approval of a long time fan meant a lot. Even if Jam is her friend, she wouldn't lie about something like this. She knows it's important to Ari.
"Do you think you guys got along well?" Jam asked. Ari's head came back from the clouds, and she focused back to the present. The question took her off guard, but she supposed it's a normal question to ask.
"Yeah, we did. A lot better than I expected. Lyle and Corey were a lot of fun, and I met Adam today. He's... something." Ari answered. Jam nodded along to her words. "Why are you asking?" Ari continued.
Jam shrugged. "I was just wondering. I kinda wondered if things would be awkward cuz of you and Zach."
Ari stiffened. "What do you mean awkward?"
"Just cuz you guys are dating, I mean." Jam answered. For a second, Ari had wondered if Jam somehow knew about Chris. She realized that would have to be impossible, though, because nothings really happened. Just one awkward text and a few exchanged words in an empty room. But Chris does talk to Jam...
"Somethings happened hasn't it?" Jam said, once again bringing Ari back from her thoughts. She looked across the room to Jam.
"What do you mean?" She said, nervously.
"Well," Jam started, "you've acted kind of distant since you got back from recording. You sounded nervous when I asked how you guys got along. It just seemed like something was up."
The gay was studying Ari's face intently. Ari was studying her back, though. She knew there was something more.
"Did... has Chris been talking about... anything?" She asked carefully. Jam didn't respond right away. Instead, she averted her eyes dramatically, indicating her words to be true. Ari sighed.
"What did he say?" She asked.
"Well I mean..." Jam said, shrugging her arms. "He kind of... had a crush on you a little while back." Ari nodded. She assumed that much, but it still surprised her to hear it. She waited for Jam to continue.
"He said he really enjoyed talking to you, but he knew you had a thing for Zach. He said he didn't think he was your type. Chris wasn't, not Zach." Jam said, furrowing her eyebrows while she recounted their conversations.
"Zach didn't know Chris liked you. Chris actually liked you before Zach started to." She added, chuckling slightly. Ari didn't know how to feel about this yet. She waited for Jam again.
After taking a breath, she continued. "Chris just didn't wanna ruin anything, and didn't think you felt the same, so he backed off."
Ari sat rigidly in her seat. She felt... guilty. It's not like she was leading Chris on... but she still felt guilt for some reason. She scratched her head anxiously.
"So... why are you bringing this up? Did he say something recently or...?" Ari asked after a long pause. Jam did a half shrug, half nod.
"We were just talking a few days ago and he said he was taking you guys being together harder than he thought." She said. "I mean, I wouldn't say he's jealous exactly but... well maybe he is. I just hoped he didn't make things weird. It's not in character for him to do anything like that, but..."
Ari was holding her breath. Jam chuckled again.
"I probably shouldn't have said anything. Sorry." She waved her hand, and started to stand. Ari stood up quickly at this.
"No no, I'm glad you did. I kind of knew that he..." she took a breath and let it out, trying to sort her thoughts. Jam was waiting for her to speak this time. Regaining control of her mind, Ari clarified.
"Chris said something the other day that I thought indicated that... he liked me. Or likes me. And today we kind of... talked about it... sort of." She stuck her hands in the pocket of her hoodie, and hung her head slightly.
"I feel kinda bad. I didn't know he liked me."
Jam raised a brow. "Why do you feel bad?"
Ari shrugged. "I don't know. And I wouldn't exactly say me and Zach are dating, either. We haven't said anything official or like, said we're exclusive. I told Chris that today."
Jam cocked her head, trying to understand.
"So... wait." She put her hands out. "Do you... like Chris?" She asked.
Ari thought for a second. Then a minute. And suddenly, she realized something. She hadn't thought about her own feelings. The second she read Chris's message that night, she only cared about what his intent was. She didn't even think about how she felt about him. Of course, she liked Zach...
...but she liked Chris too.
Does she like him in the same way as Zach?
She imagined going on a date with Chris; holding hands, getting food, going on trips...
When she thought about doing these things with Zach, she would blush. That's what gives her true feelings away. So, she imagined as vividly as she could of all the things she does with Zach, with Chris.
She blushed.
uh oh.
