Quiet Mornings And Loud Nights(Ghost Simon Riley)

19-Disarray

The base was in disarray when Aspen and Simon returned. There were things covering the floor and doors kicked in. Nothing seemed to be right, and there was no way to tell if things were missing yet. Carrying boxes of things, the two worked together to return everything to its proper place. The server room where they had been not long ago was a mess, computers destroyed and shattered glass strewn upon the floor. A few people were cleaning up, but others were working at a temporary center. There Price, Soap, and a stranger were working together. Deciphering something that looked like a map.

Trying to focus on his given task, Aspen continued to carry boxes through the hall passing the group every so often. They ignored everything around them, intently focused on what they were analyzing. Maybe that was what they were looking for all along, a map. Aspen didn't know but he had no time to chat, more weapons and files needed to be moved. Simon would occasionally pass by Aspen and brush his shoulder against Aspen's, sending sparks between them.

After a while the vans were cleared and only a few things were deemed missing. So far a usb containing a few defense files was destroyed and a couple guns were not in their usual spots. Aspen ran to his room and opened the door slowly, placing his knee between the crack so Rex couldn't get out. Once the two had returned from the safehouse Aspen had picked Rex up and carried him to his room. Rex hadn't barked but Aspen worried someone might see him before they had the chance to ask if they could keep him.

Shoving his way into the room, Aspen ushered Rex back to his bed. The door closed behind him and Aspen turned quickly to see who closed it. Standing beside his desk was Simon, who looked exhausted once again. Aspen left Rex and crossed the room standing close enough to feel Simon's warm aura. Just being near him made Aspen feel better, any worries leaving his body. He watched Simon pull off his mask, walk over to Aspen's bed, then sit down quietly. He stared at the ground while petting Rex who was asleep on the bed.

"Simon, whats wrong? Are you ok?" Aspen asked, sitting down next to him.

"I'm going to be gone for a few days, and I thought you should know before I left." He spoke softly, his voice trailing off at the end.

"Where are you going?" Aspen responded raising his voice.

"I need to- there's someone I have to visit. Some loose ends that I need to tie up." He replied shakily.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Aspen asked.

"No. This is something I have to do alone. Maybe someday I'll take you, but this time no." He said standing up to leave.

Without a response from Aspen he opened the door and left, nothing but cold air between them.

"Rex I don't get it. Why would he not tell me more, even if it's personal? I thought we were getting close but I guess not. I wish I could understand but there's no way for me to do that. I won't go if he doesn't want me to but I feel whatever he is going through must be excruciating." Aspen said waving his hands around.

Laying on his back, Aspen gazed at the pale ceiling. He traced the lines that made up little shapes and patterns, letting his mind wander. There was not much to think about when he felt this way. He wanted Simon to be happy, but at what cost?

Closing his eyes, Aspen fell asleep beside Rex. There was no reason to be awake, he would just have to get up before dinner time. Thoughts of Simon going somewhere alone that clearly upset him bounced around in Aspen's mind as he drifted off into his dreams.

Further down the hallway, Simon was in his own room. He was digging through his drawers and closet, looking for something. A dull silver shape caught his eye and he immediately reached for it. The delicately engraved letters and numbers were rough under his fingers. He fumbled with the small metal dogtag, trying to take it from the corner it was in.

His friend was waiting for him, calling for him, hoping he would come back. Simon wanted to apologize again, to scream his friend's name, to ask for forgiveness. There was nothing like the crushing weight of failure and grief pressing down on his chest. He made up his mind, he was leaving to visit the grave.

He felt even worse leaving without Aspen. He knew that Aspen cared and wanted to go with him so badly. The only reason Simon wanted to go alone was due to him not being ready or able to tell Aspen what was going on. Maybe when he returned he could explain, but it wasn't guaranteed. For now he would just have to keep it to himself.

He packed a bag that would last 2-3 days with a few necessities. He found a string and threaded the dogtag onto it, so he could put it around his neck. Once everything was set, he decided to visit Aspen for a quick goodbye. He closed his door and headed down the hallway, hoping no one would notice his bag that he clearly was going to leave with. Thankfully the halls were relatively empty and he was able to knock on Aspen's door without attracting any attention to himself.

At first no one answered the door and Simon was a bit confused. He knocked again and heard a bit of movement; suddenly there was a whining noise from the other side of the door. Rex was there, but Aspen wasn't.

Simon let himself into the room and Rex followed him, curiosity sparkling in his sweet brown eyes. Aspen was asleep on the bed, his body wrapped around a now empty space. He must have been resting beside Rex, but now he was alone. Setting his bag and coat down next to the door, Simon made his way across the room. He climbed onto the bed and tapped Aspen's shoulder lightly. Grumbling, Aspen turned and saw Simon sitting on the bed next to him.

"I thought you were leaving." Aspen said sourly.

"I was but I wanted to be with you before I left. If that's ok?" Simon replied, his voice desperate like he was pleading.

"I guess you can." Aspen sighed.

Simon wrapped his body around Aspen's, his chest pressed against Aspen's back. He felt the rise and fall of each breath Aspen took, feeling invisible sparks fly once again. Butterflies were dancing in his stomach like the first time they touched each other. He still felt so much for Aspen and every time he was around Simon couldn't help himself. His kindness, his sweet smell, his everything. There was nothing Aspen could do to make him feel any anger or hate.

Only once had Simon felt this before. That was with his friend. They hadn't been intimate but they were so close that a few more months may have allowed for that to happen. Thinking of his friend, the horror in his eyes, and the last breath he took shattered Simon's heart. To make things worse, he pictured the same thing happening to Aspen.

He squeezed his arms around Aspen's chest and held on as he took a deep breath. Sensing something was off, Aspen turned his body to face Simon, watching his dark eyes close. The small space in Simon's mask was only enough to see his eyes. Aspen wanted so badly to tear it off and hold Simon's face in his hands. He looked sick in a way that was only explained by internal damage.

"Simon, please let me in. Tell me what's going on, I want to know. I can't sit here and love you without knowing if you are even okay. Talk to me my love, please." Aspen whispered to Simon, watching his eyes open.

"I don't know how to explain, just trust that I'll be fine." Simon replied.

"That's the problem, I can't trust you if you won't let me in!" Aspen yelled pushing himself away from Simon.

"Aspen please-" Simon began, but was sharply interrupted.

"It won't work if you don't tell me, just go on your damn trip! I'll be fine on my own. So get out before I say more things I'll regret." Aspen yelled again, his eyes stinging from tears that were forming.

Simon slipped out of the bed and grabbed his bag. He put his coat on and threw the bag on his shoulders. Patting Rex on the head softly, he left the room without a word; shutting the door behind him. Aspen felt his body give out and he fell to the ground in heavy sobs. Tears were streaming down his face as he held in any screams.

"What have I done!?" Aspen yelled aloud.

Thanks for reading!
Uhoh boy troubles again?
See you soon!🦦❤