Quiet Mornings And Loud Nights(Ghost Simon Riley)

30-Spilling

(Something different here, doing this from Soap's pov! A few Scottish goofy words, so look them up if needed) Enjoy! <3

The pale light of the med bay was the first thing I saw. Muffled voices woke me from a dream. A dream which felt like it had been going on forever. I looked over to the opposite side of the room where the voices were coming from. That's when I heard it.

"I don't think I can do this." A gruff yet soft voice filled the room. I knew exactly who it was the second I heard him speak. It was Ghost.

"Do what?" I asked him, trying to catch his eyes. The damn mask always made it hard to understand him even though he was the closest friend I had. He was standing next to Aspen and they both looked up to meet my gaze. I watched Aspen's jaw drop and if I could see Ghost's face I know damn well his was the same. Sitting up where I was just laying, I watched him stare for a moment.

I suppose I could call him Simon or Ghost, but Simon felt better to say. Like a thing friends do when they are close, where they have names they call each other that other people don't. Similar to him calling me my name instead of Soap all the time. While processing I saw a flicker of movement out of the corner of my eye and I turned to look at them again.

In mere seconds Simon rushed over to the bed and pulled my aching body into a hug. His tough exterior crumbled and he melted into me, holding me closer than ever before. I tried to speak but I had no words for what was going on, there was nothing in my mind but him. A single tear slipped from his eye as he let me go and I watched in complete disbelief. He'd never show emotion near anyone and I refused to believe he was that upset over what happened. The last thing I remember was waiting to get out of the tunnel then I turned around and saw the barrels of multiple guns pointed at me. Everything went dark and very few times did I regain consciousness. Come to think of it I had no idea what day it was or when the last time I ate anything was.

"Simon I have so many questions. I don't even know where to start, but I'm so glad you are here." I began slowly trying to figure out what was going on.

"First things first, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should have been able to protect you and save you. I almost lost you and I would never forgive myself if that happened. I've been so horrible to myself because losing you would kill me. All I knew these past few days was guilt and sorrow. Johnny, I'm so sorry." The words spilled from Simon's mouth uncontrollably as he stared at me. I tried to decipher what he was saying but everything was so bloody confusing.

"Jesus Simon dinna fash yersel. I didn't take it personally, you did everything you could. That's what matters." I reassured him by smiling even though my body hurt like hell.

"The hell does that mean Johnny, you never speak English." Simon laughed as I rolled my eyes at him.

"It means get over yourself you big eejit. It was an accident and you shouldn't worry yourself. I don't hate you, in fact I'm glad you came to visit. I could definitely use a beer and some food right about now aye." I told him brightly which made him laugh even more.

By now Simon and I had been talking and joking for a few minutes, which meant Aspen had been standing by the door for a while. Simon looked back for a moment to see if Aspen was still there, and as they met eyes Aspen left the room without a word. I lifted a brow and asked Simon what that was about.

"Where's he going?" I questioned looking at Simon who seemed upset.

"I'm not sure, that's a bit weird." He replied sitting down in the chair beside me.

"So you and him huh?" I watched him as he fidgeted with his hands.

"Huh? Oh yeah. I guess you knew a while back."

"I did. I guess all I can say is I'm happy for you. Didn't surprise me since yer one handsome fella." I huffed looking at him. I hadn't seen his face before so I suppose there had to be some kind of feature that made him likeable.

"Gee thanks Johnny. You're not too bad yourself."

Simon looked back again, watching the doorway as if Aspen was going to come back. I wish I had what they did. Simon returned my gaze and I tried to hide the affection I held for him. It was buried deep but I never stopped liking him. His gentle expression could melt anyone's heart, especially mine.

"You should probably go see him. I'm sure everything is fine but you should check. I'll be fine here, just take-" I choked on my words trying to suppress my feelings, "take care of him."

Simon nodded and left the room. He didn't even say goodbye. Truthfully, in the back of my mind I wished he was mine. He was special to me in so many ways yet I knew so little about him. Ever since we met he was quiet, didn't really say much if anything at all. He covered his face and had no emotions until now. I guess Aspen is better for him. So how could I love him?

"I just do." I whispered to myself.

He may not be mine but I love him. I always have. It may not be the love he shares with Aspen now, but it is pure. I care for him so much that I would die for him. And he will never know. He will never know how much I care.

--A few hours pass--

Sitting alone leaves me with my thoughts. I decided to wander around the base for a while and eventually ended up in my room. A blank paper rested in front of me and I held a pencil in my hand. Words don't come easily, especially when I'm worried. I want to be honest, to write a sort of letter to him and also myself. Simon may never see it and knowing every fight may be our last scares me. Maybe I could find a way to give it to him without making things weird.

The second the pencil hits the page I let my creative and emotional sides join. They work together and make magic, at least I hope so. I don't hold back anything, being honest and sincere. There wasn't anything to hide except for literally everything. I had no idea how to explain my feelings but they made their way onto the page. Spilling out like water from a faucet I let the words go.

In the end it didn't matter what I said, he might never read it. God knows I care for him like a brother but I also love him. Is it overthinking or misunderstanding that compels me to love him, I'll never know. My letter ended up like a chance to get closure, to finally come to terms with myself. Accepting that I may have been in love and that I needed to move past it.

Thanks for reading!
Want to read Soap's letter to Simon? Coming soon :) I have a bunch of chapters in the works for y'all :)
See you soon!🦦❤