Spaces | Niall Horan

Thirty-One - I love you

The storm got worse compared to the one just now. The rain drops were heavy as I could hear it land on the windows beside me and on the roof. It's the month of September and it is raining? Weird.

I can't help but think about the kiss Jake and I shared just now. I feel guilty as fuck and I don't know why. Plus, I'm also confused with my feelings and I could feel the entire zoo in my stomach and it's definitely not because I'm hungry.

But I got to admit one thing; Jake's kiss is nothing compared to Niall's. I mean, yeah I've kissed Jake multiple times but there was something different about Niall. It was so... different and it had... more meaning to it? I don't know. I smile at the thought of kissing him and immediately brush that thought off my mind when the car comes to a stop.

We reached his house and I see his car parked on his parking spot. He's home. Fuck yes. I pay the cab driver and get out of the car with my suit case and the bag filled with envelopes. I run towards the front door and immediately unlock the door and get in.

The house was dark. None of those white lights were on. Weird because he would have the television on every day because of his football but now... it was nothing. It's pitch dark. Don't tell me he's asleep because I clearly know that he doesn't sleep THIS early and sometimes he doesn't sleep at all. It's his habit to stay up all night.

I check all the rooms but he wasn't there until I saw the door to the backyard was open. I walk towards it and saw a figure laying on the grass under the rain and I panic. Is that Niall?! What the fuck is he doing there? Did he forget that he gets sick faster than lighting?!

"Niall?!" I yell and run towards him. He reacts to the sound of my voice and stands up. "What are you doing here? It's raining!" I ask and stating the damn obvious. I seem so nervous. What the hell?

"Oh, I didn't know it was" He laughs and I roll my eyes. "This is my favorite place to spend my night" He explains.

"It's raining... not really the right place! You're soaking wet" I touch his hair and took a step towards me. All of a sudden, his presence didn't annoy me like it used to... or maybe it never did. Maybe it was just my anger towards him which has completely vanished into thin air? I loved how close he was to me. His hair was soaking wet and so were his clothes.

"Let's go ins-"

"I love it here." I cut him off.

We stood there staring at each other for what seemed like hours till I decided to confront him about the letters and ask him about what was the mistake he was talking about. This is the only thing I'm pissed at him for and the things he has been hiding from me for the past few years.

"You stayed away from me for two years. Why?" I ask and he takes a step back. "Answer me please." I beg him.

"I need time"

"How much?! I saw the letters, Niall. I need fucking answers. I can't give you time anymore." I confront him and he looks at me with his wide eyes. "Answer me, god damn it! Stop making me angry, I'm tired!"

"Fine! You want answers, don't you?! Listen." He yanks his hand away. "I fell for you, hard. Two fucking years back I fell for you and till this day, I'm craving to touch you but I didn't know that you were too dumb to realize that." He spats angrily. "I knew you wouldn't love me back the same way. That's why I left because you wanted him." He has tears in his eyes.

"Him?"

"Jake. That fucking asshole." And the guilt comes back. "I came back that night. That same fucking night when it was the last day we saw each other but I didn't meet you because... I..." he stops. It's dark but I can still see his red teary eyes. "I saw y-you with him in your bed." He stutters.

"Oh"

"It broke me apart" He continues. That same night came flashing back. The letter he left me on the doorstep was the same letter he told me he was in love with me but I... I didn't read it! How could I be so stupid?! "And from that day I wanted to stop thinking about you or being with you. I wanted to unmeet you but I couldn't, okay?! I love you way too much, El. I heard all your voice mails, I got all your calls, text messages, Skype calls. Everything. But I couldn't respond to it because I wanted to get over you." He stops.

"Was falling for me a mistake?" I ask. I can't figure out if he's still crying or are they raindrops.

"It was a mistake because I knew that I wouldn't get you. Not because you're not good enough." He explains. "In two years, I was able to build myself back up until I saw you, again."

"Did you love me then too?" I tilt my head and wait for a response.

"More than before." He whispers, moving nearer to me. "I dated random girls to distract myself from you but none of them could be you." He mumbles. "I lived alone, like always. I preferred loneliness and I didn't want anyone to take it away unless it was you and guess what? You did. You came back and even though you were angry at me, you spoke to me like I was your one and only."

"You are my one and only." I answer, cupping his cheek. I feel the need to kiss him. Should I? Or should I not?

"I was d-depressed and I-I cut. I admit, I was wrong." He chokes on his words. "But I swear to god, I was so fucking incomplete without you." He trails off. "Please don't leave me, boo" Those words slip out of his lips and melts me completely. "I want to touch you badly, El. I need you" He whispers and I do what my heart tells me to.

I kiss him and then I realize that he was drunk. Drunk words, sober thoughts. His tongue tasted like alcohol as I pulled him by his t-shirt, keeping him close to me as our bodies touch. I don't want to let him go. Our tongues move in sync and I could feel him smile into the kiss as he pulls me closer, tucking his wet hands under my t-shirt. He pulls away and I look at him, confused.

"Let's get inside before you fall sick." He pecks me on the lips and I giggle as we walk inside. He locks the sliding door and lifts me up, carrying me bridal style into his room. The room was cold... way too cold for me. How the hell does he sleep in this place? It's like worse than the North Pole in here.

As I was about to walk towards the bed, he pulls me by my arm and I hit his hard chest. Our fingers are intertwined and he kisses my neck and sucks onto it, hard, making me moan. I can feel that he's smirking against my neck as he sucks onto the skin harder.

His hands travel from my fingers to my arms and then waist, tucking his wet hands under my t-shirt. His hands were cold against my skin and he turns me around, kissing me hard on the lips. It wasn't rough though instead it was different, as if he was craving for this for a long time.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to touch you like this." He breathes against my lips.

"Trust me, I do"

"I'd love to wake up to you in the morning. You know... it's better than seeing the sun." He mumbles and I smile at the choice of his words.

"You will"

"Everyday?"

"Yes." I peck his nose and he laughs."

"Promise?"

"Promise." I say and walk with him to the bed. He lays down on the other side and I do the same. He takes off his t-shirt and I can't help but admire my view.

"Wait." He stops me before I tuck myself in bed. He walks over to his closet and takes out a plain white tank and hands it to me. "Wear this."

I get up and strip out of my wet clothes, throwing them aside and wearing his tank. It reached below my thighs so I don't really need anything to wear below. I get into bed with him, who has already changed.

Changed as in only boxers. How the fuck does he sleep in this cold ass room with only boxers?

He pulls me close to him and I rest my head on his arms as his hands were obviously inside my top.

"I love you so much, El."

"I love you so much more, Niall."