Fantasy ( Please do not ReaD)

Chapter 24

CHAPTER 24

Christmas Day 2016....

" Merry Christmas Joshua ", I said while rocking him in my arms. I left kisses all over his cheeks.

It's been a couple years since Trevante left. He had served roughly 5 years now. The status of his sentence was still being determined by the judge but I was happy to see that he wouldn't be gone for ten years. It was hard not having him around and over time I grew colder to the outside world. The only person who gave me real hope of love was Joshua. Joshua was absolutely the apple of my eye.

At night I'm plagued with nightmares of the people who's lives I've taken. Constantly being on edge made me go seek help. Now I'm on an anxiety pill that keeps me sleepy and mellow all day. I was truly fucked up. I don't know how Trevante did it. I thought his job was easy but mentally it was so damaging. The things that he had seen probably haunted him to his core. I never looked at the world through his eyes until now. We were now worth 100 billion dollars. Everybody apart of our crew was living comfortably. Joshua was going to a private daycare. Rico sent his mom to live in a rich neighborhood. Money was no longer an issue. The only issue we had was making sure that our money stayed within our circle. Many people wanted into our establishment but nothing could break our loyalty to one another. It was safe to say that we were a family. A close family. Everybody got along so well now. However, nothing could shake the coldness of trevante's absence. We all missed him so much. I tried my best to fill in for him but nobody ran Trevante's business like tre did. Not even me.

This year I was spending Christmas with Flaco and Joy. All our closest friends from the trap gathered at their house to celebrate Christmas together. We opened gifts this morning. Joshua was so excited to have some new toys. Joy sat across from me on the couch rubbing her stomach. She was pregnant AGAIN with baby number 2. She was as about 4 months along. I longed to be in her shoes. My womb ached everytime I looked at her, lately I've been having serious baby fever. I missed Trevante dearly. We had never spent a holiday together before.

" Do you like your gift ", I said to Joshua as I held him in my arms. I had gotten him a red fire truck.

" Yes ", he said in his little voice. He was so precious and so full of wonder. Toddlers were the perfect example of how humans should be which was free of judgment, carefree, nice and juiceaholics.

I bounced him in my lap as I opened up a gift . It was shaped like an envelope that had red ribbon tied around it.

" Who's this from ", I said.

Everybody shrugged like they didn't know who it was from. I sat it down for later.

" Aye, imma run out and get some more groceries for tonight. Anything you want ? ", said Flaco.

" Gingerale ", I said.

" Gotcha'. Back soon ", Flaco left out the door.

I continued to play with Joshua for about an hour until I found myself staring at the letter again. I got curious again and decided to pick it up. Sometimes I'd get nervous reading trevante's letters but I decided to go ahead and read it quietly to myself.

My love,

Merry Christmas. It's been awhile since I've seen you. I know I always tell you not to come visit but I'm glad you understand why. I hope that you get this letter in time for Christmas because I really don't have anything else to give you right now other than my words. I'm so proud of the progress you've made over these past few years. Everytime you send me a new letter I'm amazed at how much you've accomplished without me. I know that we've never spent a Christmas together but know that I'm always thinking of you and I'm sure your always thinking of me. I'm so happy that we didn't lose contact so far, because as much as I tell you that I want you to move on, deep down I know I'd break down if I saw you with somebody else. I know you're always asking about my experience here in jail and all I can really say is that it's been uneventful. There's really not much that goes on from day to day. I got my GED while I was in jail. It was something that had been eating away at me since I first met you. I'm officially a highschool graduate. I know that sounds corny as shit but my grandmother always told me that you're never to old to stop learning. I'm not too sure if I'd wanna go to college but having my diploma is something I'm really happy with. I wanna encourage you to keep working. How's Arthur and Anubis and Rah? Are they being good? I know they usually are. Hopefully your new dogs taking a liking to me when I get out because I know Arthur can't stand my ass. I don't like his lil ass either. One more thing before I go. I like what you've done to your hair.