Dive into my mind, don't drown.

1:52 AM

I am. So. Bored.

So empty.

I want something- no I need something to give me a boost of adrenaline.

I want to move like a madman, yet I want to stay still like a statue.

My body shakes in temptation, in anticipation waiting, for an idea to strike.

It's too hot, so I take off my hoodie and I take off my trousers.

But now it's too cold, I put my hoodie back on.

I feel like an addict, having withdrawals. Having cravings, cravings of what? Sleep? Sleep did not welcome me last night. Love? I have love, but it is not present within me. Pain? Pain is a reminder that I'm alive.

My body feels tense, I crack all the bones I can to try and release the tension.

My fingers, my legs, my hips, my ankles, my shoulders, my elbow and my back.

But my body does not feel less tense, if anything it feels like there's more tension.

So I try again, but this time they don't crack. The tension has already been released. But I f E E l it.

The tingles in my bones, the irritation, the frustration, makes me want to break my bones. But I refrain. I resist. I have to.

My eyes flicker around the room like prey, looking out for its predator at any moment it be caught.

But there is no predator, there is no hunter. I am alone.

Clothes feel so uncomfortable, so restricting.

The material rubs against my skin in a way that sends shivers down my spine and forms goosebumps across my skin.

The tag scratches at my upper back cuts into my skin and it feels like sharp thin claws.

I reach for the tag, but the tag isn't there. There is no tag.

My mind is playing tricks.

I don't know what is happening. I don't know what this is.

Am I l o s i n g my mind?

And just like before I will sit, I will close my eyes, and I will breathe. I will wait for this to be over. I don't want to ignite this over-boiling pot of emotions, even more, I don't know what I'm dealing with.

-Owl.