AN ODE TO YOUR DREAMS

( 十五 ) brilliance in passion

brilliance in passion.

IF IT WAS POSSIBLE FOR the oceanic waters' movements to produce and be classified into a variety of different waves ( i.e. tsunami, equatorial waves, kelvin waves, etc. )—each one having their own unique pattern of movement and intensity—then, it was not impossible for it to devour islands, and ships, and anything afloat within its region.

You like to think that Itoshi Rin's drive is the same as the raging ocean. The ones that occur when the tectonic plates shift way past underneath the seabed, or extraterrestrial objects colliding with the waters, or other environmental phenomena resulting the ocean to billow. There is a disturbance that causes the harsh movements. You like to think that this 'disturbance' could be compared with the motivations of Itoshi Rin.

You glance down at the paper on top of your desk. It's Literature period and you were all given the time to start conceptualizing the written piece. The minimum word count was a thousand with no maximum, and so far, there is not a single word written on your paper. There is only your name written at the upper left corner, but otherwise, that's it ( unless you could count the tiny circular drool stain that marred the paper—you should blame the way you zoned out with your mouth hanging open there ).

You turn your gaze to the boy sitting at the left-most side of the front row, right beside the large windows.

Itoshi Rin's broad back is presented to you in a hunched manner as he looks down at his own work with his hands moving whilst holding the pen.

If Itoshi Rin's motivation can be compared to the whole ocean itself—which moves for its own ( seemingly ) natural purpose—then the skills he has developed and are left to be stored within his arsenal are like the different classification of waves. There are a variety, again, each individual skill holding its own intensity, and you imagine that if the skills were to be connected with one another to form one powerful wave, then the impact from such would be tenfold.

He'd be almost unstoppable.

From where you are, you can percveive his habit of furrowing his brows whenever placed within a situation or headspace that was deemed frustrating by himself. He pauses the movements of his hands, allowing his body to straighten with his back leaning against the rest of his seat, and dropped the pen on his desk.

You are instantly brought to the thought of his behavior. The way he spoke with typical clarity and sureness despite how silent it is compared to the chaotic occurrences surrounding him. His voice is slightly deep with a rasp to it, reminding you of his brother's, and it always contained a usual bite that was meant to keep people away. Though lately, you've noticed the lack of grit behind the way he projects his passive aggression. It seems that even Itoshi Rin is not repelent against the natural impacts of a bond.

( And it seems that you are not, as well. )

And as you further ponder on Itoshi Rin's aspects, you begin to wonder what his place is to you in your own life.

You wonder. And as you do, you assume that you like to think of him as a subject observed underneath the microscope. Like a unique substance found within the Earth's vast natural resources—one whose composition and molecules move in a manner that cannot be compared to many other existing known substances. One that is one of a kind.

Itoshi Rin is bursting with dreams, and that intrigues you. He moves in such a way that is always filled with purpose; that is always beneficial towards his own future. He is always looking forward.

And you compare yourself to this characteristic of his. You, who are stuck, always trying to live in this moment because you know that the future will be nothing for you. You don't have the luxury or the privilege to look forward unlike him, and you guess, in one way or another as you have begun to experience life without the concept of death constantly surrounding you and your ideals, you think that you might envy him.

It was hard not to. But then again, there is nothing you can do about it. No matter how much you cry out loud or scream in frustration, trying to project to the world the heaviness of your life. Envy is just a feeling, fleeting just like all of the other ones, thus, you settle for ignoring it.

Because, as Itoshi Rin has this privilege to live life for the future, unlike him, you know all about living in the moment.

And you'll try to savour it as much as you can.

"GOOD AFTERNOON, HIRANO-SENSEI. Is it alright if I could have lunch with you?"

note.
𖥻 short unstructured character study of itoshi rin + reader's perceptions of him and how he impacts herself + reader living in the moment. this was a filler chapter, thus why it's very short compared to the other chapters.

#YoloBitches