AN ODE TO YOUR DREAMS

( an ode to a friend )

an ode to a friend.
letter to itoshi rin

Dear Itoshi Rin ( Just Rin, or Rin, or RRRRRin, or Riiiiiin, or Rinnnnn ),

Hey. Uh, I'm not quite sure how to begin this. You're probably mad, huh? You're probably throwing a little fit, wishing that you never met me. That I suck and I must be the most vile person in the world to you, well, maybe next to Sae-chan. I'm right, right? Right. Well, by the time you're reading this, I must already be gone. You've probably heard it in school because I know that news like this travels fast around there.

So, here it goes.

I never initially planned to try to get close with you, actually. In fact, I never wanted to speak with you. I thought that you were kinda scary at first since you were always glaring at everything and everyone ( and then I realized that that was just your normal face ). The first time I spoke with you was right after I had my first career counseling with the school's counselor. She had asked me to call you because you were next. I was a bit iffy to approach you, not gonna lie, I was a little annoyed at the counselor for requesting that from me. But nevertheless, I did, and I don't regret it at all.

I didn't like being your Literature partner, initially. I was lazy and you were uncooperative. How could we have possibly worked anything out? And then, I went ahead and dissected you like some lab rat or a frog which probably hurt you ( don't deny it ), and that, I regret. Or actually, maybe not. I think, if that didn't happen, then I don't think that we would have learned to get along with each other like this and get close enough to become friends.

I enjoy our banters a lot and your insults make me laugh. I like the fact that despite me coming around to bug you, you don't actually push me away. You'd tell me to 'go away', yeah, but I can tell that you don't exactly mean it, because if you did, then you would have just gotten up and left. But no, you stayed around; argued with me, called me a 'lazy ass' while I called you a 'doofus', and you listened to my jokes even if you never laughed at them. I liked that a lot.

And then, I eventually learned to admire you. I don't want to inflate your ego more than it already has, but I think you're really cool. You're the most hard-working, ambitious, and goal-driven person I'd ever seen ( and likely the only one I know ). It's so different from me that it intrigued me. I wanted to know why and how you do the things you do because I could never have done something as great as that.

It sort of gave me a different perspective on how to view life. If before, I didn't see the point in being alive, seeing you has taught me that having something to live for is much much better than just living as if I'm dead. I became friends with you because of you and the things I learned from you.

And if you find yourself regretting the fact that you met me and had gotten close enough to your small bubble, then I understand. I didn't tell you for selfish reasons. I didn't want to ruin the friendship that we had by telling you that I'd be gone as fast as I came. I was a coward and I was careless. But just know, that meeting you and getting you to become my friend was one of the best decisions I've ever made in my entire life.

Is it okay for me to do one last cruel thing? Well, it's not like you have a choice anyway. But, I love you, okay? Okay. I'm not sure when I realized it, but the point is, I did. I loved you up until I had fallen asleep. My biggest regret would be the fact that I didn't get to live to see you beat all of those players and get to the top. I wouldn't be there, but I hope you don't forget me. Please don't. If you hate me, then maybe it's okay, but if you don't, please don't forget me, okay? Okay.

Well, thanks for being the best and only friend I ever had. Tell Mara-san that I'm sorry and that I love her too. She's the coolest. My mom might knock on your door one of these days and I hope that she and your mother will become friends.

P.S. Stop using the word 'lukewarm'. You sound weird.

Love,
(Last Name) (First Name)
Your funniest and bestest ( and only ) friend.

P.P.S. Stop being such a loner, you look like a loser.

P.P.P.S. Tell Sae-chan that I can't wait to see him ( or not ). Bet it's gonna be boring wherever I am. Hope we can raze heaven ( or maybe hell ) together. That'd be fun.

P.P.P.P.S. My cousin plays soccer, from what I remember. Said he wanted to become the best striker or spiker or whatever tf that is when we were children. If u compete against a kid with bangs and hair color resembling a bee, pls beat him up for me. He used to jump me like a tree frog as a kid.

P.P.P.P.P. S. Swear this is the last. Have fun playing soccer !!!