AN ODE TO YOUR DREAMS

( 二十五 ) unforeseen & regrets

unforeseen & regrets.

THERE ARE CERTAIN THINGS IN LIFE that you don't expect, Itoshi Rin learns. Like hating his brother that he had once idolized and loved so much ( because nii-san was the number one kindest and coolest in the world ), and switching his goal from being the second best striker to the one top and devouring every single player in the field. So, he plans, plans, and plans for those things so as to not stumble. He likes to see the different cogs that make the arms of the clock work in order to identify which ones to be fixed once a hand halts from its movement.

See, Itoshi Rin's life was never bland nor monotone. He doesn't allow it to. Such adjectives could only be described towards those people who liked the idea of staying stagnant—staying weak and pathetic, allowing themselves to succumb to trivial pleasures instead of seeing the bigger and better picture.

He wasn't one to live life wanting for happy moments to last forever ( because they never do, he learns much early on in life ). He knew that he couldn't always play fun games with his older brother, or snap popsicles into two for them to share. A moment exists because it ends just as fast as it occurs. And so, he learns to view life looking forward.

He can't improve further if he becomes contented with where he is and what he has now.

What is he going to accomplish the next day? The next week? The next month? The next year? And then he sees himself in such a vivid, picture-perfect scenario, a decade from now, standing on top of the world and known as the best of the best—that, even if one is great, no one can ever defeat Itoshi Rin because he is Itoshi Rin. One could never even dream of standing at his level because he, himself, knows how hard and efficiently he's worked enough to maximize on his own potential.

But what about sudden speed bumps appearing across his road towards success?

Itoshi Rin likes to think that you are one—a speed bump ( or a mar, an indent, a broken road surface ), that is. Slowing his progress down with your half-hearted and lazy presence. You. One that had no ambition, no passion, or even something as silly as a dream. The type of person that he'd consciously stay away from before if he had a choice. You were the unnecessary speed bump that had forced him to halt every now and then. You, with your sarcastic corny jokes and your innate inability to socialize like a normal person ( kind of like him, he thinks, and he gags at the thought ). And then, unknowingly, he learns to engrain the habit of looking through the window shields to see if the cement road is marred or not. And as he does so, he also unknowingly learns to perceive the lazy river run faster and deeper with his own bare eyes.

( How you once walked as if you were stuck to the ground and became someone who wondered what it was like to fly )

And Itoshi Rin finds that, perhaps, he didn't mind you.

Itoshi Rin was never one to pay attention to the weather ( unless it is raining because that means he should forget to bring his umbrella or bring his waterproof gym bag because who says he wasn't going to practice in the rain? ). But today, he finds the 15th of February to bright but not hot enough for him to sweat uncomfortably. He looks forward to arriving to school and see less of the hideous Valentines decorations, too. Well, perhaps not only that.

He looks down on the paper bag in his hand. It is red; designed with white horizontal lines across its glossy paper, and it is about the size of his face. He had spent about two hours around the mall yesterday trying to identify which item he should purchase, and at last, as he had entered a book store scanned through the manga section, he finds a decent enough present that won't have you nagging him and shattering his eardrums with your annoying voice. Or perhaps you still might. He did get the same one as the anime you had once bugged him to watch because he was "missing out".