AN ODE TO YOUR DREAMS

( an ode to a guardian )

an ode to a guardian
letter to hirano aniya

Dear Hirano-sensei,

By the time you're reading this ( or even by the time you have received this ), I must already be gone. I'm not sure of how I'm going to write this, actually. Haven't written a good bye letter before, just sample formal letters in class that I'll never ever need. But, I'd like to mostly share my thoughts with you. You've always done that, huh? Listen to me talk about my problems, I mean. And though it is a part of your job description, I think the friendship that we've made from my constant visits are more than you just doing it for the sake of your job ( or so I like to believe ).

Hirano-sensei, honestly, I've never had a great family life. And although as I write this letter, I have already fixed up some issues and worries between me and my mother, it still doesn't change the fact that my family-life in the past has never been "great". But meeting you sort of changed that, in a way. You lending an ear to me and providing me with a clear image has always helped me greatly. It helped resolve some inner conflicts that I always seem to have. And you simply being there to listen, even if I know sometimes my questions tend to be difficult to answer ( because, heck, I have no idea how I even come up with them ) I still appreciate you lending an ear for me.

If there was one thing that I could change about this whole thing was that I wish had met you sooner. I think, I've eventually learned to see you as a guardian. A very wise one. And maybe, if I had met you sooner, then perhaps I would be in a much better place, and in a much better state, and I wouldn't have wasted so much of my time doing absolutely nothing because I'd have you to turn to when I am lost. Because I think I have spent most of my life getting lost into different conclusions that made me lose grasp over myself. It was difficult—no, it was too easy, actually, never mind. To just live and do nothing because of some silly conclusions that ended up costing me so much time. I think I spent too much time looking at everything that I had also forgotten that I had myself to look after.

But in some way, you helped change that along with the very few people who are close to me. Your words had always given me a new perspective to the old one that revolves around the corners of my head. It was nice. To hear something new, I mean, other than the things that repeatedly blared inside my head that never even helped me. But there is no use pondering so much about myself. Sorry. I think I might be talking about myself a lot even up until here. Anyways—

I hope you live a good life unlike the one I've lived. If there's one thing I learned, it's that life is honestly too short. Sounds cliché, I know. Don't waste it pondering too much over every single thing and just do what is beneficial for yourself and your happiness. But I know that you'd know this even without me telling you. You've always been reliable like that.

You still have a long life to live, Hirano-sensei, you have up until your 90's. And the only wish I have is that you never forget me. Yeah, yeah, I know that I wouldn't even be there to confirm if you've forgotten or remembered me when you grow older—heck, you might even wonder why this letter was in one of your possessions—but, I really hope that you won't forget me ever. Thank you : )

Thanks for being my guardian! The best counselor. I hope the school gives you a raise. They better. I love you!

Love,
(Last Name) (First Name)