Always Be There

And I'm Asking "Why Lord?"

Casey entered the lab, wondering why it was wide open with the light still on. "Uh- Gap tooth? Ya there?" He called, looking around. He felt his foot hit something, and looked down. His T-phone? Why would he leave it here?
He picked it up, examining it before deciding to turn it on to see. He opened it up, revealing the messages the purple clad turtle and April sent.
"Shit— No goddamnit Donnie you fucking idiot! GUYS!" He sprinted out of the lab, towards the main area.

—————

"Hello, April— I assume you know why I have come to see you. . ?" Donatello gulped, standing as straight as his body would allow.
"Have you finally come to your senses, pest?" She hissed.
"Yes. Yes I have— Just as long as my family doesn't get hurt, alright?" He sounded unsure, and he knew. Damnit why did you have to sound like that!?
She just grinned, glaring down at the turtle with blinding white eyes. She nodded. "Good. I was getting tired of waiting. Come a little closer, will you?" She instructed.
"Um, okay—" He hesitantly made his way towards the entity, abruptly stopping as he heard footsteps behind him. He turned to face the culprits.

"Donnie stop! Dude what the hell are you doing?!" Casey yelled, stopping a few feet away.
The others stopped behind him, Splinter standing beside him.
"I— What are you doing here?"
"We should be asking you the same question, genius!" Raph snapped.
"He's turning himself over, like a good little pest should." The entity snickered.
"Donnie! Were you. . No- no you weren't please tell me you weren't! She's lying!"
". . ." The purple clad turtle didn't respond, looking at the ground in shame.
"You. . You were— I- Donnie—" Raphael was at a loss for words, completely dumbfounded by what he realized.
"Oh? It seems you've really messed up now, huh?" She stepped forward, directly behind the turtle.

"Donnie. . You don't really want this- I know you're just doing it for us- Right?" Casey said.
. . .
"Donnie answer me-"
. . . .
"Answer me!"
The turtle flinched, tears beginning to stream from his face.
"Oh my God. ." Leo spoke.
"I'm sorry, I really am— but I can't risk messing up again."
"Donnie you—" Mikey started.
"Don't. Just- just don't. Okay? I've screwed up too much already. I've ruined people's lives countless times, i've- I've screwed things up that should be easy to do, I can't even seem to make that stupid ass retromutagen that everyone has been nagging me about, I just can't do it! I'm sorry, okay? I'm the reason this all happened, Im the reason all of you were put in danger, I'm the reason half of the stuff that happened, happened. Okay? How can you not realize I'm right? All I ever do Is mess up, mess up, mess up! I can never seem to do anything right! Everytime I do succeed at something someone else had already figured it out! How is it that I can seem to find every way to fuck something up at once, yet simultaneously not find a single way to fix it?!

I'm an overthinker, you all know that. Yet no matter how many backup plans, escape routes, backways, and shortcuts I can seem to find, I still manage to fuck something up! Whatever the 'thoughts' are, as you call them, seem to be the only thing my fucked up head seems to get right. I'm pathetic, I'm emotional, I'm fucking worthless! I'm a pest, I'm literally nothing but a useless waste of CO2!!" He screamed, his breaths becoming heavy and slow as the tears fell faster. There was a single stream of blood coming from the corner of his mouth. He held his arm, squeezing it in stress.
"Donnie. . Donnie please— please you can't do this. You just can't!" Casey yelled.
"My son, please, do not listen to those thoughts. They are not true." Splinter rested a comforting hand on the now crying Casey, eyes still on his second youngest.
"Yes- yes they are— stop lying to me." Donnie finally spoke.
"No—"
"YES- THEY ARE!" He snapped, his hold on his arm tightening to the point of changing colour.
The entity watched in amusement.
"What do you mean, Donnie?" Raph growled.
"I mean what I said! It doesn't take a fucking genius to figure that out does it? Without my tech, I'm nothing. I'm nothing, and everyone knows it. I'm the most expendable one in the group, so just let me do what I need to do so everyone is safe."