Always Be There

On it, baby gap

"I just. . I- I don't know how to explain. . . Its-"
"Take ya time dude. I ain't rushin' ya."
"I know but- I dunno. . I'm sorry-"
"It's cool, ya fine dude."
"Okay."

He took a breath, sighing.

"It's. . Well it's been going on since I was around six. When I started upgrading my tech to bigger and more useful things. I finally started actually getting noticed for my work instead of just being the one who fixes the toaster or rewires the microwave. Whenever I got noticed for my work, I guess I'd get really excited. Though usually I never got noticed for anything other than my tech or when they can't figure something out. I clung onto as much praise as I could because I didn't want to mess up and get overshadowed. . But also because it just felt so nice to be noticed in a positive way for something I did. I had some experiments and builds go wrong a few times and each time I would get in trouble because of it. I didn't want to be screamed at or forced to do extra training because of it so I would constantly be losing sleep and locking myself in my lab so I could build something worthy of said praise. . . No matter how much I tried something would always go wrong though. I didn't ever know what went wrong and couldn't ever find a way to fix it. So, as consequence, I would be yelled at or hit upside the head-most commonly by Raph or Leo-or something of similar nature of I did something. Usually it was just them messing around, and of course, like the idiot I am, I took it all literally. I don't know why I keep doing it. Sometimes I tend to overreact and get angry or upset or something. And sometimes, whenever it gets bad. . Sometimes- I even get those. . Thoughts. . . . They used to just briefly cross my mind, but they seemed to have manifested into real, up to hours long thoughts over the years. I would sometimes end up imagining different scenarios with me. . Y'know. . ."

Casey nodded, listening close.
"I'm sorry I just- it got so stressful whenever I do make something and even more stressful when it messes up. Not to mention I usually have to figure out all of the solutions to both difficult problems and simple things because they assume I know everything. I'm usually worried to tell them I can't actually figure it out because I don't want them to think I was an even more useless part of the team. So I just kept working on it for as long as I could until they finally just said to give up. . . I already can't fight, I already can't do the one thing I'm supposed to be good at, I don't know what's wrong with me. I- I don't want to be even more useless. . . I don't wanna be- what if they want to kick me off the team because I can't figure something out. . ? I- I don't- I don't wanna be useless. . ." His voice slowly began to break as he spoke, tears beginning to stream down his face heavier and heavier. He couldn't even finish what he was going to say before breaking out into choked sobs.

Casey hugged him close, letting him cry into his chest.
"I'm sorry! ImsorryImsorry I'm so sorry. . !" He sobbed, clutching his shirt tightly.
"It's alright dude. . Let it all out. Don't be ashamed."
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry. . ! I- I-" His voice caught in his throat, causing him to break into more tears.
He began to rub his shell comfortingly, attempting to calm him.
"Please. . Please don't leave me I'm sorry- I don't wanna deal with this alone anymore. . I'll make sure I don't mess up I promise to do my best. . !"
"Hey, hey, I ain't gonna leave ya. I wouldn't leave you for somethin' you can't really control. I know how it feels to not be good enough, trust me. I'll stay with ya and make sure you can get through this knowing you have someone who ain't leavin' at all."
. . .

"I hate it. . why can't I just be normal-? Why can't I just be like my brothers. . ? Why can't I be like Sensei? I don't know where I went wrong. . What's wrong with me-?"
"Ya didn't go wrong at any point. And there sure as hell ain't anythin' wrong with ya. They just found ways of coping with their stress. Sensei and Leo meditate, Raph relieves his by beating shit up or training, and Mikey draws and cooks. You just need to find your coping mechanism."
"What if. . What if I can't find one?"
"Then I'll help ya look for one until there isn't any to try."
"You- I-"
"I ain't leavin', trust me. I know what you're goin' through and I ain't gonna let you go through it alone."
"Thank you. ."
"No prob, anything for you." He smiled, hugging him tighter. He felt the turtle relax a bit, the crying now becoming small sniffles.

They both sat in comfortable silence for the next twenty minutes, Casey subconsciously rocking him to help calm him. It seemed to work a little too well, because the next thing he knew he felt the turtle lean dead weight onto him.
"Damn, couldn't even let us go home first, huh?" He grinned, stopping the rocking and just sitting.

He received no response.

"Alright, I guess I'll be nice this time." He maneuvered his arms under the scientist's torso and legs, lifting him up and carefully climbing down the pile. He proceeded to walk home carrying the turtle bridal style.

-----

Jones walked into the lair, spotting Raph giving him a weird look and rolling his eyes. "Don't worry, dude. He just fell asleep while rummaging around the scrap yard." He lied.
"Alright, but so help me if I find out he's hurt-"
"Yeah, yeah, I know." He left to the genius's bedroom.

When he entered, he set Donnie on the bed, climbing in after and pulling the covers up. He wrapped his arms around the terrapin's torso and hugged him close, slowly drifting off to sleep. Imma protect you dude, I promise that. Ain't nothin' gonna hurt ya. And I ain't gonna let anyone make ya sad again.
He yawned, closing his eyes and passing out.

-----

After an unknown amount of time, both boys awoke. They were drowsy and exhausted, especially Donnie. They decided to just stay like that for awhile until the other made any attempts to move.

Donnie decided to bury his face in the other's chest, murmuring something almost inaudible. "Mmm, love youu. . Fanks frr dat-"
"Heh, no problem hun. Was the nap good? I didn't wanna leave in case you woke up and ended up. . Freakin' out-" He smiled, letting out a breathy chuckle and muttering the last part.
"Mhm. . . T'was vrrry comfyy-"
"Good. I'm glad. Raph almost beat my ass yesterday when I brought ya home, worth it though."
". . Whyy?"
"Because he thought I let ya get hurt again- Ya kinda fell asleep so hard you looked like you were knocked out or somethin'." He snickered.
"Ohhh, srry-" He snuggled closer, nuzzling underneath the boys chin. "Mmm, warm. . ."
"Wooow, stealin' my body heat again huh?" The boy teased.
"Mhm. . ."

"Fuckin' adorable man. Though ya ain't gonna live this down, y'know that right?"
"Mhm. . . Oh well. ."
"Imma be annoying you about it allllll month long." He grinned, rubbing calming circles onto the terrapin's shell.
"Oki. . ."
"Did you just say 'oki'?"
"Mmm, no-"
"You did! I think sleep's gotten to ya head. Ya ain't speakin' normally."
"Nooo, jus- jus tired. ."
"Well I mean the past few days was the most sleep you've gotten in years so-"
"Mhm. . ."
"Want to get some food?"
"Sure. . ."
"Alright, but that means getting up."
"But whyyyyy. . ?" He whined, as if he was a child not wanting to get up for school.

"Cuz' Mike ain't gonna bring us none, also, it'll help ya wake up more."
"Fineee-" He grumbled, shifting around and sitting up. He rubbed his eyes similar to a tired elementary school kid after a nap.
"Alright mister whiny scales. Let's go." He gave a playful punch to the turtle's arm, standing and holding his hand out for him to take.
"Heyyy, I'm not whiny!" He took his hand, standing as well and tiredly glaring at Jones.
"Are you listening to yourself right now?" He grinned, leading him to the kitchen.
"M'not whiny. . !" He pouted, rubbing his eyes again with his free arm.
"Sure ya aren't." He rolled his eyes playfully.
"M' not!"
"Keep tellin' yourself that, meanwhile let's get some grub." He made it into the kitchen, sitting the scientist down and walking to the fridge. "What do ya want?"
"Um. . I'll just have leftovers."
"Alright. Same here." He pulled out two takeout boxes, each labeled with a name. Then closed the fridge, walking to the cabinets and grabbing some plates. "Want all of it or just a little?"
"All, please-" He yawned.

"On it, baby gap." He grinned, setting the leftovers onto the plates and beginning to microwave his. He set Donnie's plate down in front of the genius, as he preferred cold sushi. (Which was what he got for that night's dinner two nights before)
"Thanks, cave mouth."
"No prob." He pulled his plate out of the microwave and sat down beside the terrapin, beginning to eat.

The two just sat in a comfortable silence for the rest of the meal, either zoning out or humming a tune to occupy themselves.

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Sorry it's a kinda shit chapter, I couldn't think of much so that's also why it's so short.