Michael's Story

Chapter 9: Cont'd

Junie stood petrified that her mother would be just as cold and uncaring as usual. However, Junie realized that neither dismissal nor fear could alter the truth. Jaya and Elijah were the only things that stopped her from shouting it down the hall. Instead, Junie peered down at Jaya. Her mother seemed to read her thoughts and stepped toward her.

"Jaya, go watch TV with Elijah." She sent her away.

Jaya strolled down the hall, looking back at Junie several times before turning the corner. Junie's stomach felt like it was going to explode from the anxiety that had invaded her. But, instead, her mother got even closer.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

With her mother's approach, she felt a tightening in her chest. Her heart pounded, and her vision grew hazy. She felt trapped inside and had no idea why she was sweating so much.

Her chest tightened, and her breath left as the room shrank. She inhaled quickly, but she had trouble exhaling. Finally, she collapsed to her knees, terrified that she would die. Her eyes filled with tears that threatened to spill out. The trapped air forced its way out, but not without a piercing wail. Junie's mother rushed to her; she started rubbing her on the back. Junie could barely make out her mother's voice as she tried to talk to her.

As Junie panicked, her breathing became more labored. Finally, she cried out loud, sobbing for everyone to hear. When Jay came bounding down the hall, he immediately picked up Junie and held her close. She was still crying as she heaved and heaved for air. Her parents, along with Jaya and Elijah, followed as her father carried her into the bedroom. He sat with her on the bed. While holding her in his lap, her father gently rocked her and planted several kisses on her forehead.

Despite her father's pleas, she couldn't calm herself. Finally, her mother left the room and brought back cold water. While helping Junie, she instructed Jaya and Elijah to remain seated and console one another. Elijah held Jaya close, and she rested her head on his shoulder. They watched their parents attempt to calm a frantic Junie.

Her father was still holding her when her mother knelt beside him. She reached out and took a firm hold of Junie's hand.

"Junie, please take a few deep breaths for me." Her mom suggested. She inhaled and exhaled slowly before saying, "Come on, do it with me."

Junie was still hysterical, but she did it again, "Come on, Junie." She inhaled and exhaled deeply.

Junie was still breathing heavily. This time Junie attempted to live generally through her nose before exhaling with her mother. She did it again, Junie keeping up with her.

"That's good. Let's keep going." Her mother said

Junie's breath was shaky, but she could exhale before they took another breath in. Over several minutes, they continued this routine until Junie's breathing became regular and steady. Finally, Jay placed Junie on the bed and tucked her under the blankets.

The nightstand now had a glass of iced water that her mother had left there for her. Her parents were terrified of being separated from her for even a moment. To give Junie some quiet time to rest, Jay took Elijah and Jaya into the living room. Her mother climbed into bed with her. She thought none of this would have occurred if she had tried to convince her daughter that everything was fine.

After what had seemed like an eternity, Junie was back to normal. To have a nervous breakdown in front of everyone made her feel ashamed. In her home, her parents rarely discussed mental health. Her mother's rallying cry was, 'We're warriors.' But Junie didn't want to be a warrior.

Her mother spoke first: "I was projecting, and I'm sorry. Go to therapy. You're grown; you make your own choices."

"Your opinion means the world to me. Maybe one day we'll agree on something, bringing us closer." Junie's eyes watered.

"Are we not close?"

"I've never seen you cry, mom," Junie said.

Her mother rested on Junie's head and said, "I have to be strong for us."

"Sometimes, I don't need you to be strong. Sometimes I want you to be soft and emotional," Junie's tears fell down her face, "I want you to be understanding and approachable. You don't have to be strong; I want you to be my mom. I'm always going to love you for you."

Because she finally felt she could let it all out, Junie cried even harder. She would always need her mom and dad, no matter how old she got or where she went in life. Every day, she gave thanks to God for them. There was much to improve, but as Tess put it, We're all works in progress."

Junie's mom started crying out of the blue. After a long silence, Junie rolled over to face her mom, and they hugged tightly both crying. All she wanted was for things to improve between her and her mother.

The talk Junie had with her mother went well. She still kept her truth about Nico under wraps. She would eventually figure out a less complicated way to break the news, but she needed to focus on other things.