Michael's Story

Chapter 33

Anger was all that Michael had. He was angry that Gerardo got away, mad that he had to get rid of Pablo, and angry that Junie wanted nothing to do with him. At a time when he felt like he could turn to no one, the one person Michael wished he could talk to was Junie.

When Michael was with Junie, he was captivated by her presence. Doubt would try its best to take him over, but the bond between them always won the war. Michael regretted not thoroughly enjoying Junie's company when he had it. Overthinking usually led to him holding back.

If Michael could reset things, he would change them all the way back to the day he was born. Normal relationships weren't meant for him; he'd learned that early on. Being a Martinez meant more than just carrying on the family's name. When Michael had only a five-year-old understanding of the world and how it worked, his father assured him that the family would rely on him one day.

That day had come, and filling Antonio's shoes wasn't easy. First, there was a drastic change in Michael's role; He went from hitman to boss in no time. However, adjusting to his role was fine. He witnessed his brother handle situations constantly and even added his own suggestions to aid Antonio.

The real issues sprouted when personal relationships intertwined with business relationships. If Pablo wasn't close to his family, getting rid of him would've been less stressful. Michael wouldn't have been upset with him if Julian hadn't gotten involved with Trinity. And, if Junie would've been patient, they'd still be on good terms.

All these things, combined with the stresses of work, only made things twice as hard for Michael. Finally, he began to understand what Antonio may have gone through the year prior. At first, Michael needed to know why Antonio chose family over business instead of making room for both.

Sympathy guided him through his brother's mind, realizing that Antonio was a lot tougher and braver than Michael felt he would ever be. Michael would visit his brother in the morning to clarify Antonio's decision. Besides, with how things were going, Michael needed to be around his loved ones.

*****

Coming back into the house was too much for Junie. She had one task in mind, but it felt as if there were a million things for her to do. Setting aside her concerns about if her mother would believe her, Junie headed straight from her room. She quickly snatched the letter from her bed and then hurried into her mom's room, where she dropped it off on her dresser.

*****

"Remember, I didn't tell you anything. Act surprised." Brenda said with assuring eyes.

Smiling, Ree replied, "I promise you, this will be some of the best acting you've ever seen." She preened.

Brenda cackled, "I wanna see you acting better than Malcolm during the Black Lives Matters meeting."

Brenda and Ree high-fived each other, laughing briefly before their laughter died. Ree propped her elbow up on the car door armrest. Then, peering out of the window, she settled on the apartment building door—the quick thought of Jay not being home changed her mood to somber.

"For real, you deserve it. You've been through so much." Brenda reassured her friend, placing a hand on Ree's shoulder.

Ree responded with a touch of her friend's hand, gratitude warping her face, "Thank you."

Brenda nodded, "Don't start getting mushy, chile."

Ree turned her body in, showing her seriousness, "No, really, thank you. Thank you for the rides, the advice... the laughs." She dropped her head, "Once I walk into this house, the man I've loved for over twenty years won't be there. I got a promotion, what I thought I needed..."

Brenda rounded her shoulders, "I can't imagine how you feel, but I do know that pain doesn't last forever. It's gonna get easier, you hear me?"

Ree hesitated a nod but then quickly stopped herself. She clutched the Saint Mary pendant hanging from her neck. Ree drew in a sharp, emotional breath.

"I could've been..." placing her hand on her philtrum as she held back tears, "I could've been a better wife." Her chest fell as she breathed out the shaky words.

Brenda pulled her in for a hug, "You stop that, Ree. You did what you could. You had to be strong for your husband and kids, and maybe you made mistakes, but you had to do something. You had to do what no one else was doing. Now, it's time for you to do what's necessary." Brenda rocked with her from side to side.

Ree was still trying to contain herself. Brenda broke the hug but continued to support her. Rubbing Ree's back in large, slow circles, Brenda waited a second before speaking more encouraging words.

"Go ahead and feel it. Allow yourself to feel it. You don't have to be strong all the time, Ree. Walk through it, don't sit in it." Brenda consoled her.

With her hand covering her eyes, Ree's lip quivered. Another hug from Brenda sent Ree over the edge, and Ree suddenly broke her restraints. For the first time since her husband died, Ree cried. Ree could feel all of the pressures inside of her loosening up. Then, closing her eyes, she exhaled a refreshing sigh.

"Your husband is gone, but you're still here." Brenda reminded her.

Ree raised her head, nodding and exhaling the same satisfying breath again. Brenda wore a closed-lip smile, watching Ree acknowledge her pain. Ree nodded again, looking at Brenda.

"Whew, I needed that... My gosh." Ree gripped her necklace again.

"And I'm here anytime you need support. So don't forget that." Brenda said.

Ree wiped her face with her entire palm, "I know. I need to work on sharing more." Ree unconfidently kept her eyes down.

"Especially with your best friend." Brenda nudged Ree, "Slash boss now, on your end." Brenda added.

Ree chuckled, "Not yet. I'm gonna go ahead and get in this house, though. I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you, Ms. supervisor." Brenda joked.

Brenda chuckled as Ree exited the car. Ree watched Brenda drive away, sending a wave as the car rolled forward. Brenda honked the horn, letting Ree know she saw her waving.

Unlocking the door, Ree walked into a dark and quiet home. Flipping the switch to the lamp in the living room, Ree saw Elijah sleeping on the couch. Dropping her bag down, Ree walked over and picked up Elijah.

She carried Elijah to the bedroom and pushed the door open with her foot. Gently, Ree laid Elijah in bed. Gazing down at her sleeping son, sorrow came over her. It bothered her that her children were present to witness their father's death. Brushing his hair back, she placed a kiss on his forehead.

Elijah's eyes fluttered open. Ree and Elijah stared at each other momentarily. Ree tucked her smile.

"Can I lay with you tonight?" Elijah asked sleepily.

"Of course," Ree said.

Jaya was already sound asleep in the middle of Ree's bed. Gesturing toward the bed to Elijah, he claimed the spot where Jay used to lay. As much as Ree wanted to spend a little time alone, she knew that her children needed her. A quick recount of Junie's view of how closed off Ree came off and what Brenda just said to her in the car sparked the inspiration to be more emotionally available.

Ree headed to the closet, where she removed her shoes and unbuttoned her work shirt. Peeling off her shirt, she glanced at the dresser, noticing a folded piece of paper awaiting her. Looking closer at the letter, Ree read that it was addressed to her. She picked it up from the dresser, holding it in both hands. Intuition told her something significant and maybe even life-changing from Junie. Unfolding it, several other pages twiddled to the ground. The pressure that she'd just released came back to weigh on her heart.