Michael's Story

Chapter 29

The day finally arrived for Junie and her family to bury Jay. Junie hadn't returned to work or therapy. She also never responded to any of Michael's text messages. The main thing on Junie's mind was figuring out what she would do next.

Junie's next move would be based on her aspirations in life. But, unfortunately, life flew past her quickly, and she had nothing to show for it. Goals became obstacles, plans became distractions, and dysfunction became functional. If things were to change, she needed to change them independently.

Daydreaming about what she would've been had things gone right for her clouded her mind. Washing dishes was a great way to disguise the fact that she was stuck in her mind; it was less evident than pacing. Junie cleaned the dishes robotically, gazing into the water as she mouthed dialogue from the made-up events that played in her mind.

"We leave in an hour."

Junie snapped out of her daydream and looked behind her at her mother. She kept her mouth straight and then offered an unsuspecting smile. Her mother trotted over to her, resting her hand on Junie's shoulder.

"I'm glad you're feeling better." She raised a corner of her mouth.

"I just needed to take a break from everything." Junie continued to focus on washing the dishes.

Starting into the bubbly water, Junie watched the suds slide off of the glass bowl as she rinsed it with water. There was something else her mother had to say, and by now, Junie would tell what it was. Since her father passed, her mother was slowly turning back into the numb, cold woman she'd been for decades.

"Did you talk to your manager?" She asked.

"Yeah." Junie lied.

"Good," she sighed as she twisted around to lean up against the counter next to Junie, "Cause now that your dad's gone, ima need your help around here."

Junie contorted her pursed lips. Her mother sighed again and then folded her arms across her chest. Junie glanced at her out of the corner of her eye.

"When's your next check?" She asked.

"Friday," Junie said lowly.

"Can you help with the rent again?"

"Yeah." Junie jutted out her lips.

"Thank you." Her mother nearly whispered.

Her mom left the kitchen. Junie dropped her shoulders and then closed her eyes. Going back to work just didn't sit well with Junie. Helping her family was something she'd always do, no matter what job she acquired or where she lived. What bothered Junie was that she'd been pushing her dreams aside for everyone else. At this rate, she'd never get to where she wanted to be.

*****

Junie was perched at a table near the back, observing all the unfamiliar faces at her father's repast. It was odd that her father's funeral was also like a reunion for the people that attended.

Seeing her father being laid to rest didn't offer as much closure as Junie had hoped. Instead, it felt like everyone was watching, waiting for the moment Jay's family burst into tears.

Before the funeral began, Junie powered her phone off. Being annoyed and uncomfortable simultaneously, Junie's phone was the best distraction. Then, finally, her phone rebooted, and messages started coming through; Six messages from Michael, all referring to the calls she'd missed from him while her phone was off.

Junie got up, passing through the room to head to the quiet hallway to call Michael back. On the opposite end of the building, where you couldn't tell there was any human activity, Junie returned Michael's call. Her heart was thumping around in her chest.

"Where are you?" Michael asked her instead of greeting her.

"I-" Then Junie remembered she hadn't told Michael what happened, "At my dad's funeral."

Michael paused, "When did it happen?"

"Last week," Junie said.

"I'm sorry. I know how much your dad meant to you. Want me to come and get you?"

There was another pause, but this time it was longer. Tossing her head back, Junie could feel all her frustrations with Michael flaring up. If he was going to be there for her, he had to be there 100% of the time, not just when he thought it would count.

Junie defined herself as a good person, even with her mistakes. When she loved, she loved someone thoroughly; no conditions or rules applied. Her ability to view people in the most humanly way possible kept her heart strong but pure. But, it was time she deemed herself worthy of the best things. Knowing her worth also meant knowing her tolerance. It was time for Junie to fight for her own life.

"Listen," Junie gulped, "I'm not into this whole back-and-forth thing. I like you, but I like myself even more. You've been sweet, kind, caring, confusing, and contradictory. I'm going through something serious and don't need any extra stress. Let me go if you care about me so I can be with someone who wants to be with me." Junie said to him.

It was still silent on Michael's end. Some of the tension rising inside Junie winded down. Pulling the phone from her ear, Junie checked to see if Michael was still on call; he was.

"I can't do that. I'm sorry you lost your dad, but you need me. And you're saying this because of what you're going through. I can't tell you how to grieve, but I was never playing with you. I'm not going anywhere, Junie."

"I don't need you, Michael." Junie let out frustratedly.

"You mean that?"

"I never needed you. I thought I did and... I could make you feel something you weren't feeling. But your issues aren't mine, and I can't make you do anything. The only person I need is myself." Junie said.

Michael exhaled aloud, "Where are you, Junie? Let me come and get you."

"No." Junie said firmly, "I'm done, Michael."

"We've barely started. I think you should give it a little more time."

Junie chuckled, "I don't need more time. I'm done."

The realness of Junie's tone rendered Michael speechless. There was a beat, and Junie habitually awaited an answer from him. Then, realizing that she'd finally said precisely what was on her chest for the first time, it dawned on her that she needed to be firm in her choice. It pained her to do it, but she hung up the phone before Michael could respond.

Shoving her phone into her back pocket, she could feel it buzzing around as Michael called her back. Ignoring it, she headed back to the repast. As Junie passed the people to get back to her designated area, she caught wind of Nico being the center of a small group and spewing false details about the night their father died.

Junie sat in her seat, Nico just an earshot away, saying, "Giving my dying parent CPR was the most traumatizing thing I ever did. He died in my arms." Nico sniffled. Junie rolled her eyes, sick of Nico's manipulative ways. It angered her that Nico wasn't decent enough to have more dignity than that.

Lying about the exact details of their father's death was low, even for him. Junie was fed up. There was no more holding things in for her.