Michael's Story

Chapter 11

Two days until Gerardo's birthday

Back with Tess, Junie wasn't discussing Nico or how she should treat herself. Instead, their conversation today centered on her alcoholic father. It was shocking, but she asked Tess for actual work, and Tess always delivered.

"So, whenever you're ready to talk, just talk." Tess reminded her.

Junie was unaware of her silence. She had a special place in her heart for her dad. Despite his addiction, he was always kind to his children. She would always be his little girl, he assured her.

"My dad......"Junie got lost in her thoughts once again.

"You shared a long-time daydream with me during our last session. One character that stood out most to me was the sober, happy-go-lucky father. Is that how you wish your father were? You talk about your mother's drinking habits or your brother's, but you rarely mention your father's."

Junie's mind was in a rut. She struggled to find the words to express how she felt. But, instead, she kept returning to what had happened the day before. She hoped this wouldn't be the beginning of another panic attack.

"Junie, we only have a few minutes left. Otherwise, I won't see you until Tuesday." Tess said to her.

Junie started to speak but sighed, "I'm not ignoring you. I had a panic attack yesterday, and I need a second."

"Take all the time you need." Tess guided her.

Instead of dragging it out longer, Junie responded, "Last year, my dad fell down a flight of stairs at my uncle's house." Junie spilled.

She tapped her foot and scratched her eyebrow. Her nervous tick was usually to shut down and slip into a daydream. Today, her anxiety made her fidgety.

"His family was there, and of course, he was drunk because they all drink like that. Anyway, he fell and broke his neck. He had huge lumps all over his head, gashes in his face." Junie looked down because she felt too uncomfortable to make eye contact.

"It was hard for them to stop the bleeding because he drinks so much. He was in the hospital for two months. But we were used to it. My mom wanted to move closer to the ER when I was younger. He was on his deathbed twice. So, I prepared for him to recover, come home, and drink last year. I expected it, so I wasn't as disappointed in him as I was when I was little."

"Do you feel like he didn't care to be alive?"

"That's exactly how I felt. But it was like if you don't want to live, at least do it for your kids. My dad is the most understanding person in my life. I used to call him my best friend. Sometimes, we'd go for rides together. He barely had any money, but he'd buy me something. We'd sneak Elijah with us when he got old enough, and it was so much fun. Imagine being a kid and being afraid you'll lose someone like that because they can't take care of themselves." Junie said without even shedding a tear.

Junie forced a glance at Tess, somehow assuming that if she set eyes on her, she would break. Junie slouched a little but then remembered to sit up straight. Maybe she needed it to all spill out the right way before it churned into something more explosive like yesterday.

Junie looked at Tess, who looked like she was also on the verge of tears. Finally, Junie lost control, and her eyes began to pour. She threw her head back, cupping a hand over her eyes. She had more to say.

"I love my dad and always will, but I want him to love himself too." Junie sat back, casting her eyes up to the ceiling.

Tess was sniffling with her as she watched Junie tear down another trauma wall. At this moment, she was not only sad for Junie but also proud that Junie was saying things out loud instead of keeping them in like she usually would.